Sometimes you just need a hug.
Sometimes that hug comes from the lead apron while getting X-rays at the dentist.
I take medical advice from my doctors not my politicians.
At my age, I've sown my wild oats. I'm down to domesticated oats now, when there are oats at all.
I'm a parent of more than one child, so I only know how to yell now.
Help me to help you to like me.
- basically all of Twitter
@vacationwanter Such an amazing thing to see in the sky, hope you get to see them!
I only sleep on one side of my bed because the clean laundry sleeps on the other.
If you don’t believe in science you should not be working in healthcare.
-Waves around frantically at everything.
If I knew I’d have this many brain cells left, I would have partied a little harder in my twenties.
The sun'll come out tomorrow ... and probably give you skin cancer and damage your eyes, but still.
No, thank you on the DM room. I prefer that my tweets get the 7.5 favorites they deserve.
Sex with me also counts as trauma bonding.
I'm going camping this weekend. It's a great activity where I just build a fire and look at the mother fucker