Goddess Of Mischief™ @AsgardianRose
• Ryan Reynolds once liked my tweet • 🤌🏻 • #GoPackGo twitter.com/search/from:as… Detroit, MI Joined February 2010-
Tweets147K
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Followers25K
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Following6K
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Likes356K
the jury is hung? all of them? can i see?
Because of an unfortunate typo on the invitation I will now be hosting a Superb Owl Party.
the term "domestic housewife" implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what i aspire to be
call me Edgar Allan the way I Poe up
Them: Go big or go home Me, 30 mins later, in my bed: This is nice
i desire a trip to the aquarium , at the end of which i am permitted to pick one toy for my good behavior
Husband: *texting me* Any chance we can skip that dinner party tonight? Me: *already in my pajamas* If that’s what you really want.
me as a surgeon: [cutting into patient] is it cake
Every surgery is exploratory if you have no idea what you're doing
9: Mom were you born in the 1900’s? Me: How dare you. Also yes.
Before the internet, I just assumed everybody believed in science
He said, “Why are so many women obsessed with true crime and m*rder?,” and all the women in the room exchanged glances, but didn’t answer.
[tracy chapman at her cheap friend’s wedding] you got a cash bar
Not to get political but it is hilarious the Green Bay Packers have an age restriction for their CEO but we have two 95 year old goblins running for president
Not to get political but it is hilarious the Green Bay Packers have an age restriction for their CEO but we have two 95 year old goblins running for president
Just got my first HOA slap on the wrist and now I want to take pictures of everything my neighbors are doing wrong. This is how wars start.
Thank you for calling customer service. Please listen carefully to the following 27 options, none of which will be even remotely related to the reason for your call.
me: turns on vacuum my dog: this is my Vietnam
You can do it all by yo' self Let me see you do it
My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.
Trey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1XStabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmoBöb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBVTony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K FollowingAnnie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
75K Followers 2K Following Smooth like nitroglycerin. Sidekick to @gingerhotdishIvsy @Ivsy01
40K Followers 9K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2kPru @prufrockluvsong
20K Followers 2K Following humorisht | situation misunderstander | word maker upper | bit prolongerThe Evolving Arm @leftarmisme
37K Followers 9K Following So it goes. Tweets👉 https://t.co/CJQMENmWqd @LuvPugFDN 👉https://t.co/WvSLwFgf9xDarla @ddsmidt
38K Followers 13K Following I don't take any of this nonsense too seriously. Here's some links to my tweets: https://t.co/GSnadPOMASGrant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
37K Followers 5K Following Anatomically correct. For the most part.cathryn 💚🇨🇦 @AngryRaccoon2
27K Followers 6K Following Nice person. Buddhist. Mental health and harm reduction advocate 💚Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
55K Followers 50K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation. https://t.co/92vEozoAvoLaughing Elf @elf_laughi2239
19 Followers 465 FollowingCJ @CJWinterheart
13K Followers 759 Following Photographer, Artist, Published Author, Giant Canadian Fella || Unama’ki is my home || #GoSensGo #NHLBruinsJOYEM @JOYEMwrestling
3K Followers 5K Following 6 ft 1, 208lbs . 1m84, 94 kg. Pro wrestling student ; I Speak : 🇬🇧 , 🇫🇷 ; #prowrestling #CatchFrançais Human/humanChris Smyth 💙 @mrchrissmyth
241 Followers 1K Following Would-be cartographer, dog-loving lawyer from sunny Norfolk, UK. Personal account, RTs not endorsementsd0b3j1n4d04nc @069707ghe
22 Followers 1K FollowingCorey Howard @howard_cor54045
155 Followers 1K FollowingIorshimbe Vicky @IorshimbeV70709
24 Followers 86 FollowingJuicy💦 Jen👅 @Sexydiamonds69
29 Followers 2K FollowingWMC @WMC36097913
464 Followers 2K Following The numbers don't lie, people! Why can't I get MUCH MORE LISTENERS than just a handful, NOT EVEN large enough to fill a goddamn choir loft!Abdoulaziz Idris @IdrisAbdou46957
95 Followers 2K Followingtheredcupdiaries @Lolaleekitten
347 Followers 921 Following Small business dreams, big vision planning with The Red Cup CoachingPost Malone News @NewsPosty1
35 Followers 511 FollowingPrince hamdan @prince_ham92684
71 Followers 2K FollowingMr. Strong 💪🏿�.. @3XAdultEntMedia
330 Followers 4K Following Adult Content Film Director, Screenwriter, Producer, Graphic Design, Future Oscar Winner for Best Adult Cinema Film & Series!🏆BU page: @StrongTysonxXxBenish💕🩷💕 @nadim_gill
5K Followers 4K FollowingKaitlyn Jones @kjonessd
574 Followers 2K Following Battle Born & Vegas Strong. Employment Attorney who is more interesting than her profession would imply. Nevada has my heart.Laurel Higgens @laurelhig12
2K Followers 52 Followingkk @kk79836572
7 Followers 557 FollowingArt Over Everything @SabotagedSmoke
12K Followers 1K Following Your broad has man hands like Jean Claude Van Damme and a raw dog tramp stamp of a hot rod Trans-AmMACEO @liImaceo
141K Followers 130K FollowingJuliana/Juju (I am up.. @immerse_ur_soul
35K Followers 22K Following ❤️🩹#BeKind 🌌look🆙#samesky #mentalhealthmatters ✍🏼📸 #Radiohead #Swiftie #musicislife #nature “That’s a real fukking legacy to leave” 🫶 🥀Granite Man 🏴�.. @GraniteDhuine
18K Followers 5K Following The unacceptable face of Scottish Twitter. Whisky drinker, kilt wearer, sweary AF.Cletus Mcjones @CletusMcjo34160
313 Followers 2K FollowingDonald Tiedgen @DonaldTied72577
585 Followers 481 Following╭∩╮(◣_◢)╭.. @RedAndBlueKu420
614 Followers 4K Following Just a huge Jayhawk fan - Packers fan- I live with schizophrenia-I love the paranormal-Tweet dumb shit &memes-420 friendly - Always Stay Humble 💯💫Jennifer @Jennife89831258
2K Followers 5K Following I am grounded. Avid gardener, mother, wife, sister and daughter. I love my plants almost as much as my kids. Living almost completely off the grid is my goal.Ethereum Investment @ethinvestmentX
972 Followers 5K Following 🎓 | The biggest Cryptocurrency Page on X. Education, Memes, News & more. #ETH #BTCFazil @Fazilguys80
50 Followers 4K FollowingCheese All That @CheeseAllThat19
1K Followers 1K FollowingColton Moore @coltonmoore44
1K Followers 2K Following Sometimes I’m funny. Usually, I’m posting Packers stuff. cash app $coltonmoore44Lethef @Lethef174264
46 Followers 1K Following I live alone now and enjoy business, traveling, shopping, food and music. I have a calm personality and I hope we can be friends.Ramazan Kılınç @Rmznkilinc020
159 Followers 954 FollowingDonnyStahlman @StahlmanDo36120
147 Followers 2K FollowingOrbie Yancey @OrbieYancey211
82 Followers 912 Following 39 y/o veteran, girl dad, and firefighter. always looking to laugh.Paramedic Firefighter @ParamedicVet
2K Followers 5K Following US Army Combat Medic (91B2P) Paramedic/Firefighter (Ret.) ☞GoldCorp☜ 1st ABNDIV Sometimes I teach and write. History, Guns, Puns, Memes, & Snark.Adel Mahjoub🇹🇳�.. @AdelMahjou18720
166 Followers 1K Following 🐦يكفيني فخرا أنني سليل حنبعل قاهر إمبراطورية روما العظيمة🐦Al Cal @Allecal5355
3K Followers 5K Following Army Veteran / America and Veterans First. Conservative. Don’t bother sending messages, I’ll just delete them.Gary Wininger @WiningerGa12704
236 Followers 693 Followingmark @marktabas72
116 Followers 204 FollowingS Ray @shilpikumarroy
396 Followers 5K FollowingMatthew Kirkland @MattKirkland79
926 Followers 2K Following Military Contractor, Father of 3, and 100% AMC Ape!Trey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1XStabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmoBöb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBVTony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K FollowingAnnie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
75K Followers 2K Following Smooth like nitroglycerin. Sidekick to @gingerhotdishIvsy @Ivsy01
40K Followers 9K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2kPru @prufrockluvsong
20K Followers 2K Following humorisht | situation misunderstander | word maker upper | bit prolongerThe Evolving Arm @leftarmisme
37K Followers 9K Following So it goes. Tweets👉 https://t.co/CJQMENmWqd @LuvPugFDN 👉https://t.co/WvSLwFgf9xWilde Thingy @wildethingy
31K Followers 2K Following I have nothing to declare except my top tweets - https://t.co/YApmhRImR4Darla @ddsmidt
38K Followers 13K Following I don't take any of this nonsense too seriously. Here's some links to my tweets: https://t.co/GSnadPOMASGrant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
37K Followers 5K Following Anatomically correct. For the most part.cathryn 💚🇨🇦 @AngryRaccoon2
27K Followers 6K Following Nice person. Buddhist. Mental health and harm reduction advocate 💚Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
55K Followers 50K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation. https://t.co/92vEozoAvobeth @bethbourdon
74K Followers 2K Following if you'd like to help me & @kenklippenstein (rascal) sue the feds for records, go here: https://t.co/W8XoCcJ9GcLilia Luciano @lilialuciano
50K Followers 4K Following 🇵🇷 Correspondent and anchor at @CBSNews & host of @ExileContent #ElFlow podcast @iHeartRadio — email: [email protected]Jo @JoJoFromJerz
947K Followers 5K Following mom. jersey. dem. news junkie. Lebanese. hothead.views are my own.https://t.co/zueo7YDFWx https://t.co/q4qgmwRLzt. https://t.co/9Fp1kdOX6wStephen McGee @stephenmcgee
2K Followers 29 Following Resurgo Documentary/book/outdoor photo show - 17 years of Detroit footage/2 Million Photos/ 2x Emmy Award Winner. Raising 3 Girls in a $1 house w USA BMX wifeCommunity Notes @CommunityNotes
931K Followers 0 Following Empowering users to create a better-informed world. We're open source and data is publicly available: https://t.co/Te3IjR10Ix Q? Reply/DMShematologist, MD @acweyand
84K Followers 6K Following Peds hematologist oncologist,mother, dreamer, pacifist, justice seeker.Clueless Mother https://t.co/HblMm3s8OM Cream Influencer #CakeForBreakfast https://t.co/4SLDqCFsMq💉Josh Rubin, MD �.. @DrSandman11
29K Followers 11K Following Anesthesiologist, father of 5 ginger #MedTwitterKids. Don’t give anesthesia based on posts. Correlation ≠ causation 💉@DrSandman11 on 🟦⛅️, et alRyan Marino, MD @RyanMarino
102K Followers 3K Following Human Doctor • Toxicology • Addiction • Emergency • #WTFentanyl & more often just WTF • drugs are misunderstood but people are misunderstood more • he/himLast Call Lambeau @LastCallLambeau
258 Followers 56 Following we drink and talk packers football. hosts: @ferd_turgeson @herooine @sammwichh & benny🐶 network: @gameonwiRealHousewifeOfMichig.. @RealHousewifeMi
68K Followers 9K Following Mom to 4 amazing kids 👦🏻👦🏻👦🏼👧🏻. #Democrat 🇺🇸#ProChoice #LoveIsLove #Catholic ⚽️⚾️🥎🏀🎭🎵MomCheese All That @CheeseAllThat19
1K Followers 1K FollowingNFL Memes @NFL_Memes
1.4M Followers 76 Following We make fun of your favorite football team. (Not affiliated with the NFL) Contact: [email protected]Jay P @JohnathanPerk
32K Followers 23K Following cancer survivor | higher ed lawyer | Philly enthusiast | @TempleUniv @UVALaw | tweets my own—NEVER representation of employer’s views | never legal advice | heButtcrack Sports @ButtCrackSports
127K Followers 6K Following Nothing Tweeted Is Factual • Satire News + Trolling • Warriors Niners Purdue fan • On Instagram and TikTok too!Stephanie 🏳️�.. @StephanieInABQ
27 Followers 51 Following Transgender woman. Started HRT 04/30/22. Manifesting my dream life. #trans #TransIsBeautiful #LGBTQ #TransWomenAreWomen $smieczHaylee Barber @BarberHaylee
948 Followers 1K Following Producer @DatelineNBC @NBCNews Panther Alum @ChapmanU Home in Colorado ⛰Craig Melvin @craigmelvin
158K Followers 3K Following Husband. Father. Son. Brother. Believer. Journalist @todayshow @datelineNBC. Preorder “I’m Proud Of You” below! Out May 7 📚Meghann Cuniff @meghanncuniff
119K Followers 997 Following “arguably the most influential legal journalist working today” - Washington Post | Subscribe to my mailing list ⬇️ TikTok: meghannmcuniffIvy🪽 @sosofivy
89K Followers 43 Following I’m just a girl • relatable post • follow to see more • turn notis on ✨Oklahoma Department o.. @OKWildlifeDept
247K Followers 1K Following We manage & protect fish & wildlife, along with their habitats, while also growing a community of hunters & anglers, partnering with those who love the outdoorsdepths of wikipedia! @depthsofwiki
880K Followers 4K Following Hello I am @anniierau! I do not pay for Twitter and if I have a blue check it's against my willTYT @TYT
168K Followers 190 Following Home of Progressives. @TheYoungTurks @TheDamageReport @IndisputableTYT @UnbossedTYT @TYTinvestigates @TYTPolitics and many more.The Young Turks @TheYoungTurks
424K Followers 9K Following The largest online progressive news show in the world. Hosted by @CenkUygur & @AnaKasparian. Watch #tytlive weeknights at 6pm ET/3pm PT on https://t.co/rzCrCS8OaY!WE THE URBAN @WeTheUrban
86K Followers 112 Following Black-owned. We are a platform celebrating inclusivity, self-love, & marginalized voices. Our posts have been proven to increase your power by 1000% 🧡JRR Jokien @joshcarlosjosh
73K Followers 991 Following concerning hobbits, faith, & pop culture sign up for my LOTR newsletter at https://t.co/k22jTDs8Bj @JokienWTolkien & @HEvangelical admin merch & other socials ⬇️Tea with Tolkien @TeawithTolkien
49K Followers 1K Following an online community for the hobbit at heart 🍄 free book club and reading resources 📚 inspired by the life, works, and Catholic faith of JRR Tolkien ✨Jokien With Tolkien @JokienWTolkien
9K Followers 140 Following The Hobbit, LOTR, and ROP fan and humor account run by @joshcarlosjosh 📧 subscribe to the newsletter at https://t.co/T0AT390bSUAaron Rawrdgers @ARdoppelganger
5K Followers 2K Following I AM NOT AFFILIATED WITH AARON RODGERS. I JUST LOOK LIKE HIM. Packers. Paramore. Metalcore. In that order.Hilarie Burton Morgan @HilarieBurton
239K Followers 549 Following "My candle burns at both ends..." - Edna St. Vincent MillayChrista Lynn @Christalynn0919
6K Followers 1K Following Faith, family, and football!!! NFL and XFL Momma, Girl Boss Momma, Glammy, and lover of adventure! ☀️MELapalooza 🐈⚽�.. @MELisCrazyInAZ
32K Followers 15K Following MY ONE AND ONLY PROFILE $MelisCrazyInAz https://t.co/rjxWV6PjFA 🤪Teetering on the edge of insanity 🤣98.2% of my tweets are jokes. Respond accordinglyAndy Herman @AndyHermanNFL
73K Followers 2K Following Owner @packadaypodcast | Writer @PackerReport66 | NFL Scout School Graduate | Guest on @wduz & @sportslead1055 | Food ExpertPretty Little Heathen @Cali_Sass_
15K Followers 8K Following Day Dreaming | Probably lost in a book or my thoughts or just lost | Your Everyday Friendly Demon | Not Important | Don't be dumb | https://t.co/9Yd4RKZJbhBlayne Alexander @ReporterBlayne
32K Followers 4K Following @NBCNews + @MSNBC Correspondent 🦚 Covering the Fulton County investigation, Georgia elections, consequential stories everywhere. Best assignment: SMB’s mama 💗@itssherifield @itssherifield
13K Followers 1K Following Musician mama of 3 treading water and taking names Formerly @Lmemeit IG and TikTok: @itssherifield https://t.co/PEkz5e5DfKDadman Walking @dadmann_walking
56K Followers 1K Following introvert. Husband. Dad of 3. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My links! https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezburmeghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link belowkirby🧸 @ckirbyyyy
7K Followers 450 Following ✨$60 for dm response✨ I’m not not here for a good time, I’m here to ruin it. https://t.co/dhBhTeKnofvision bored @visionbored2
43K Followers 982 FollowingBlue Berrymore @BerrymoreBlue
18K Followers 4K Following Sarcasm and Anxiety. I love dad jokes and mom bods.Granite Man 🏴�.. @GraniteDhuine
18K Followers 5K Following The unacceptable face of Scottish Twitter. Whisky drinker, kilt wearer, sweary AF.Fomo Simpson @HaliPhacks
8K Followers 3K Following Keeping it funny on Twitter since its early days as a radio show. My tweets ➡️ https://t.co/Z2tnWjzeDxBimbo Saggins 🦋 @bitzydimbo
51K Followers 841 Following titanium spine • paralysis survivor • strong 🔞 https://t.co/rmB3TtEF5Q 💋nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonzWomen: I have a stalker, he threatened to kill me. Police: Cool, can you call us when he actually does that?
my boytoy came without instructions and now it's committed several war crimes.
The same ones who couldn’t tell you their child’s pediatrician’s names, their allergies, or clothes sizes……?!
Men care about the upbringing of children more than women do.
The Putin campaign comes to South Carolina.
Trump: One of the presidents of a big country stood up and said, Well, sir, if we don't pay and were attacked by Russia, will you protect us? I said.. No I would not protect you. In fact, I would encourage them to do whatever the hell they want.
Me after texting "I'll let you know" to their plans
i’m not in my villain era i’m just my father’s daughter
CNN tomorrow: “Is Biden’s age more of a problem than quadruply indicted rapist Trump encouraging Russia to attack our allies?”
NEVER TALK TO COPS. Even if you did nothing wrong, never ever, ever, ever volunteer any information to police Cops are legally allowed to lie to you. Cops can use any information, no matter how innocuous it is. Never speak to cops.
I love feeling represented in literature (Reading the DSM-5 rn)
Crime panic is often a convenient and cheap form of excuse for gutting public services that benefit everyone.
New York City's subways are often a convenient and cheap form of getaway for criminals. gothamist.com/news/suspected…
the jury is hung? all of them? can i see?
i don’t fw that inconsiderate shit. cause you literally don’t know the sacrifices a person had to make to accommodate you at any point.
For once he’s not lying.
Trump: During my four years, I did nothing on guns
Me, during the UsherBowl:
“My Boo” had to be on the set list, that song was just TOO big for it not to be!
hello, this is your friendly public defender logging on to ask you to please stop googling your crimes. thank you.
Were it not for her being Palestinian, she would be celebrated around the entire globe for her courage.
BREAKING: HEROINE NURSE RUNS INTO GUNFIRE TO SAVE A WOUNDED GAZAN Legend
@ProudPatriots1 I love how you put "Never Surrender " on a card with a picture of him surrendering. How novel.