Goddess Of Mischief™ @AsgardianRose
• Ryan Reynolds once liked my tweet • 🤌🏻 • #GoPackGo twitter.com/search/from:as… Detroit, MI Joined February 2010-
Tweets147K
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Followers25K
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Following6K
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Likes356K
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
the jury is hung? all of them? can i see?
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Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
Because of an unfortunate typo on the invitation I will now be hosting a Superb Owl Party.
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
the term "domestic housewife" implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what i aspire to be
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
call me Edgar Allan the way I Poe up
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
Them: Go big or go home Me, 30 mins later, in my bed: This is nice
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
i desire a trip to the aquarium , at the end of which i am permitted to pick one toy for my good behavior
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
Husband: *texting me* Any chance we can skip that dinner party tonight? Me: *already in my pajamas* If that’s what you really want.
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
me as a surgeon: [cutting into patient] is it cake
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
Every surgery is exploratory if you have no idea what you're doing
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
9: Mom were you born in the 1900’s? Me: How dare you. Also yes.
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
Before the internet, I just assumed everybody believed in science
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
He said, “Why are so many women obsessed with true crime and m*rder?,” and all the women in the room exchanged glances, but didn’t answer.
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
[tracy chapman at her cheap friend’s wedding] you got a cash bar
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
Not to get political but it is hilarious the Green Bay Packers have an age restriction for their CEO but we have two 95 year old goblins running for president
Not to get political but it is hilarious the Green Bay Packers have an age restriction for their CEO but we have two 95 year old goblins running for president
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
Just got my first HOA slap on the wrist and now I want to take pictures of everything my neighbors are doing wrong. This is how wars start.
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
Thank you for calling customer service. Please listen carefully to the following 27 options, none of which will be even remotely related to the reason for your call.
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
me: turns on vacuum my dog: this is my Vietnam
You can do it all by yo' self Let me see you do it
You can do it all by yo' self Let me see you do it
Goddess Of Mischief™ retweeted
My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.
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my boytoy came without instructions and now it's committed several war crimes.
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Men care about the upbringing of children more than women do.
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Trump: One of the presidents of a big country stood up and said, Well, sir, if we don't pay and were attacked by Russia, will you protect us? I said.. No I would not protect you. In fact, I would encourage them to do whatever the hell they want.
Me after texting "I'll let you know" to their plans
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the jury is hung? all of them? can i see?
i don’t fw that inconsiderate shit. cause you literally don’t know the sacrifices a person had to make to accommodate you at any point.
For once he’s not lying.
Trump: During my four years, I did nothing on guns
Me, during the UsherBowl:
“My Boo” had to be on the set list, that song was just TOO big for it not to be!
hello, this is your friendly public defender logging on to ask you to please stop googling your crimes. thank you.
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From their review of the new book about Elon’s twitter takeover.
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