Bob Heller @Bob_Heller
I’m Bob. My penis is 4 in. but thick as a beer can, has 2 heads and can kill a pair of doves from 17 feet. https://t.co/By5LfHNZLy BobHellerTees.com Philadelphia, PA Joined April 2011-
Tweets34K
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Followers12K
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Following4K
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Likes85K
I pledge allegiance to dat camel toe
I pledge allegiance to dat camel toe
Figuring out how to equip my pet monkey with a poo cannon so nobody finds out he throws like a girl.
no one knows if Grimace has a skeleton or how fast it regenerates and therefore any planned assault cannot rely solely upon gun or spear but equip yourself also with chainsaw and grenade
I figured out a way to gain a few extra experience points while sleeping. Turns out you can just equip a certain basic skill to harvest dream energy and use it towards leveling up. But now I’m awake and I can’t remember how I did it
The marshal at the county courthouse doesn’t like my “I LOVE JURY DUTY” flask.
I blew my nose and now my nose is eating me out
I call them Blew Men Group. I get free tix, by the way.
Who do I have to blow to get medicine for my life-threatening food allergy?
"Glerb glob glub glub glubba glerb glub GLUBB... Heyyyyyyyyy Macarena!!!" --Me, giving head on a cruise ship
Who do I gotta blow around here to satisfy my oral fixation?
When I was young and naive, I thought I had to wrap my lips around the bong to smoke it. Now, I do it just to turn on dirty hippies.
I blew my chance and now my chance is making me waffles
Wow. I feel old. I'm only a few years younger than OJ was when he didn't murder those people.
All murder aside, OJ Simpson is the NFL's greatest actor.
There are two kinds of people in my life, and I love them both!
Manspreading on the toilet so nobody sits down next to me.
I'm finally going to be able to use my "eclipse and punch in the dick" move.
“Voilá,” I exclaimed as I revealed the viola I had been playing this whole time was spelled wrong.
Bone in Bone out That's what Easter's all about Jesus Christ My mom is crying All the bunnies multiplying PORK!!!
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman
32K Followers 3K Following cool ranch icarus, painter of LoveBots, king of diarrhea jokes
Viktor Winetrout @Cpin42
26K Followers 652 Following Creator of @Sorrowscopes & @WeirdCelebTwets https://t.co/fJ5BJjLtIb
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2
Tony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K Following
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
Pru @prufrockluvsong
20K Followers 2K Following humorisht | situation misunderstander | word maker upper | bit prolonger
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy
31K Followers 2K Following I have nothing to declare except my top tweets - https://t.co/YApmhRImR4
steve suckington @SteveSuckington
29K Followers 728 Following There are things I enjoy. I'm a mediocre wordsmith but a master turdsmith.
Grant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
37K Followers 5K Following Anatomically correct. For the most part.
The Ciscokidder @TheCiscoKidder
36K Followers 13K Following 99% jokes, 100% Stay home dad, atheist, BLM, feminist, pro LGBTQ+ and left af. https://t.co/HpCbHaktUa
Adrenalin @adrenalindenver
26K Followers 818 Following Local pop punk band in Denver. DM for booking info! Guitar/vocals: @Woody_B_ Bass: @dave_cactus Drums: Ripcord Lead Guitar: Duncan
Little Greenis @DurtMcHurtt
24K Followers 2K Following https://t.co/HREAfSgLSJ https://t.co/RXZ32W17IY geriatric millennial
Todd 'Papi' Carlos @TheToddWilliams
26K Followers 782 Following Engineer I'm also on BlueSky. Same name.
Jumge_Lollen346 @JumgeL42420
9 Followers 749 Following
MingleMist @MingleMist42598
9 Followers 363 Following
vasu_deva61 @VDeva6197377
0 Followers 195 Following
Esme_ @Esme217998
6 Followers 370 Following
sweetbat @sweetbat189399
16 Followers 626 Following
Scr_atch54 @SAtch543497
20 Followers 683 Following
Hemanth837 @hemanth83740860
18 Followers 739 Following
Jennifer_US_ @JenniferUS86048
6 Followers 888 Following
ASTRID aka CHERRYXLEM.. @astrobean18
2K Followers 2K Following I ONLY REPLY ON OF ❤️ 𝘼𝙪𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙚 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡 ☆ 🥰 🥛 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺: astrid_daniel 🍒 𝐄: 𝖺𝗌𝗍𝗋𝗂𝖽𝗈𝖻𝟤𝟢𝟢𝟢@𝗀𝗆𝖺𝗂𝗅.𝖼𝗈𝗆
What are you going to.. @1999_jab
3K Followers 4K Following Just here for the lols/snark. If I lol I follow. Dad to 2 teens. Cat wrangler, gas-station hot dog connoisseur. A little lead guitar. What a time to be alive.😬
Addison @Addison29136175
15 Followers 757 Following
🍤 @doc_dray_
0 Followers 62 Following
bobscratchett @funbobby07
211 Followers 633 Following i'm sorry, you must have dialed the wrong number. please check your number and dial again.
doc meggiebear @Socks420
175 Followers 258 Following amateur surgeon - hmu for mole removal, teeth pull, foreign body removal (or placement)
Abdul Moiz Asif @AbdulMoizAsif01
61 Followers 88 Following Don't Limit the Cross, You is the because.
Cecily__GE @CecilyGe64728
1 Followers 247 Following
Sanra Hunks @HunksSanra15281
4 Followers 83 Following
Sharrie Williams @SWMaybelline
38K Followers 36K Following I'm Maybelline Founder, Tom Lyle Williams, great-niece and Author of The Maybelline Story.
Howie Tan @_thehowietan
2K Followers 2K Following I write about micro business that anyone can start over $34M generated. Trader / Entrepreneur
Irina @Irina713742
3 Followers 281 Following
Christopher Young @CYoung6123
158 Followers 1K Following
Svietlana @Svietlana141317
3 Followers 373 Following
Tawi Rufus @RufusTawi56644
345 Followers 5K Following
Teytetayt @teytetayt20809
174 Followers 3K Following
Shetisl @Shetisl174495
39 Followers 25 Following
Thesas @Thesas756043
254 Followers 3K Following
Tetouski @tetouski55724
197 Followers 3K Following
Carol Riner Jones �.. @CarolJones49151
538 Followers 476 Following Blue Through and Through 🇺🇦🇺🇦 Rebuilding My Account. Episcopalian All Inclusive
Shashasl @Shashasl145004
120 Followers 1K Following
Smenoez @Smenoez149271
166 Followers 3K Following
Jim Rudberg @JimRudberg
89 Followers 207 Following
The Hurtin Albertan @ultimateheadbut
247 Followers 1K Following I'm pretty sure that i was a viking in a past life. I some times get the urge to hit people with blunt objects and have my way with the wenches
Roll Semaglutide @LeonardTPants
505 Followers 1K Following if it's not a 'hell yes' then it's a no https://t.co/scsUO68GU3
Sandy Santiago @SandySanti49584
23 Followers 422 Following
Lenetat @lenetat43111
107 Followers 1K Following
DrewTwoFish @DrewTwoFish
277 Followers 1K Following
Rico911 @RICO_911
537 Followers 2K Following
pure luck🌟 @pure_luck_trade
421 Followers 2K Following Stop acting so small. You are the Universe in ecstatic motion💫 - Rumi
Steve Lattimer LB @SteveLattimer
330 Followers 465 Following football, family in that order RETWEETER
jason jasonson @jasonjasonsons
2K Followers 825 Following celine dion fan account https://t.co/4HEVQLVaOs
Unknown Unknowns @skyehopper
906 Followers 2K Following Designer, Illustrator, beginning hacker adventures, satellite coms, cholesteatoma/partially bionic ear. Lonely Hacker's Club
Kris @MythicalCrystal
4K Followers 4K Following ~ creative procrastinator ~ 🌻 https://t.co/N9Tz0huOJA
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman
32K Followers 3K Following cool ranch icarus, painter of LoveBots, king of diarrhea jokes
Viktor Winetrout @Cpin42
26K Followers 652 Following Creator of @Sorrowscopes & @WeirdCelebTwets https://t.co/fJ5BJjLtIb
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2
Tony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K Following
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
Pru @prufrockluvsong
20K Followers 2K Following humorisht | situation misunderstander | word maker upper | bit prolonger
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy
31K Followers 2K Following I have nothing to declare except my top tweets - https://t.co/YApmhRImR4
steve suckington @SteveSuckington
29K Followers 728 Following There are things I enjoy. I'm a mediocre wordsmith but a master turdsmith.
Grant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
37K Followers 5K Following Anatomically correct. For the most part.
The Ciscokidder @TheCiscoKidder
36K Followers 13K Following 99% jokes, 100% Stay home dad, atheist, BLM, feminist, pro LGBTQ+ and left af. https://t.co/HpCbHaktUa
Adrenalin @adrenalindenver
26K Followers 818 Following Local pop punk band in Denver. DM for booking info! Guitar/vocals: @Woody_B_ Bass: @dave_cactus Drums: Ripcord Lead Guitar: Duncan
Little Greenis @DurtMcHurtt
24K Followers 2K Following https://t.co/HREAfSgLSJ https://t.co/RXZ32W17IY geriatric millennial
Todd 'Papi' Carlos @TheToddWilliams
26K Followers 782 Following Engineer I'm also on BlueSky. Same name.
mugshawtys @mugshawtys
517K Followers 159 Following hope bae gets bail | owner: @jay_jeffs | 1.2m+ on IG https://t.co/959iHL9gdt
#1 Smitty Fan on Arra.. @TheSmitty_Verse
2K Followers 5K Following Collector of Memes, first of his name. Eagles, SpongeBob and The Office memes. - Also like comic book content, movies & TV. #FlyEaglesFly #Angels #LetEmKnow
Jo @JoJoFromJerz
945K Followers 5K Following mom. jersey. dem. news junkie. Lebanese. hothead.views are my own.https://t.co/zueo7YDFWx https://t.co/q4qgmwRLzt. https://t.co/9Fp1kdOX6w
Tonight Laundry @TonightL94358
639 Followers 4K Following I’m a bad person. I’m a troll. I only log on when I am truly sad. Happy to see your POV, however. also, if you are a real person let me know. I’ll apologize.
kook ☪️ @KookCapitalLLC
54K Followers 5K Following shitpost god ☪️ | alpha 📲 https://t.co/dXpNrmCx5I
jason jasonson @jasonjasonsons
2K Followers 825 Following celine dion fan account https://t.co/4HEVQLVaOs
Scouse-African @me_shell33
564 Followers 2K Following nutjob | demotivational speaker | south african scouse & LFC fanatic | audiologist - I love ears | must love dogs
NBA Slime @TerryFranconia
12K Followers 8K Following Helped win the wars against baseball and football. The John King of odds and a “so-called bookie.” NFL Slime creator. 76ers Revolutionary. #Weed #RingTheBell
Lynda Carter @RealLyndaCarter
449K Followers 1K Following Singer, Actress and proud Mom! Listen to my new single #LettersfromEarth: https://t.co/8r3ycFqOTS
Michael Rainey @mikerainey82
26K Followers 2K Following
Gaylard @drunkardgay
122 Followers 217 Following Debauchery, depravity, and other maladies. WARNING: Tweets not suitable for human or AI consumption.
Monica Blew @Monica_Blew
3K Followers 1K Following Here to raise donor awareness and the need for registered organ & tissue donors ❤️ transplant 8/2022 #OrganDonation #DonateLife https://t.co/PogeqmIQHA
Kiko Gomez @thedonofyreka
1K Followers 463 Following I'm a fighter in politics. Not a professional stand-up comedian. Enter at your own risk. #spaceshost for Good Morning Reply and Late Night Reply.
🄼🄾🄾🄽 🄿.. @ItsCarly__Bitch
2K Followers 1K Following Look down. Click the link. Buy your fake band shirt. Send me a pic of you in it. #BonerJams #TrueCrimeJunkie #WeDoRecover #NonConformity #BoobBalls
Linda Yaccarino @lindayaX
562K Followers 1K Following Driven by industry progress, inspired by provocative leadership, plus don't mind a good pair of shoes or a great @PennStateFball scoreboard either.
Lego Dave Grohl @LegoDaveGrohl
9K Followers 12 Following 🤘🏻Maximum Block'n'Grohl🤘🏻 Currently seeing if I can post a years worth of daily themed pics.
⭐ Joode! ⭐ @superjude81
9K Followers 2K Following COFFEE☕VIDEO GAMES🎮 ADVENTURE👩🏼🚀 I also enjoy photography, beer, music, food, and smiling https://t.co/SsdPeIZAJP https://t.co/pmdKhYpyo7
Ember JP @ember__jp
43K Followers 0 Following
SorryHat 𝕬𝖙𝖙.. @sorry_hat
12K Followers 3K Following Dad, artist, husband, limb maker, shitposter. creative director. lunch sketch’s mon-fri.
GlennyRodge @GlennyRodge
27K Followers 1K Following Screenwriter, comedian, actor, socialist and model. These are words. As are custard, trumpet, wardrobe, trousers and dandelion.
Geno the Don 🪬 @ThaRealVincee
688 Followers 1K Following Co-Host of the All Takes No Brakes Podcast!... I also do "PPD" for PFF! I preach FACTS over FEELINGS! I'll Slide for the Birdz 🦅 , Nets, & Yankees USMC VET
Humans Being Bros @HumanBeingBross
187K Followers 17 Following A place for sharing Videos , gifs and images of people being totally bros. | Follow and subscribe |
AZ Air Conditioning @azaircond
2K Followers 1K Following Since 1984, AZ Air Conditioning and Heating has provided quality HVAC services to our Southern California customers.
Bart @bartandsoul
11K Followers 2K Following What is this place? Is it like FB? Music. Sarcasm. I RT, a lot.
CynicalTherapist @CynicalTherapi1
15K Followers 8K Following LMFT-LADAC Addictions Expert, Not your therapist, both traumatized and trauma informed. Sometimes a writer https://t.co/Y7o1NsmtJh Bad words ftw. 🏳️🌈
Jordan Davis “Parod.. @Swaggidavis
79K Followers 523 Following If you haven’t figured it out by now, this isn’t a parody account 🫵🏾😭
Sydney Brown @Sydbrown___
10K Followers 74 Following @eagles | @Illinifootball Alum | From London, Ontario, Canada 🇨🇦 | Business Inquiries: @davidcanter @GSEworldwide
Jalen Carter @breadmanjalen
35K Followers 361 Following C/O 2020 Apopka High School 5 ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ UGA
if they would just equip the classrooms with laser triggered land mines
Unfollowing people who reply to but never like my tweets seems a bit drastic, instead I'm just going to get drone and equip it with a grenade launcher.
no one knows if Grimace has a skeleton or how fast it regenerates and therefore any planned assault cannot rely solely upon gun or spear but equip yourself also with chainsaw and grenade
It's simple, we equip all ammunition with bad guy seeking technology.
I figured out a way to gain a few extra experience points while sleeping. Turns out you can just equip a certain basic skill to harvest dream energy and use it towards leveling up. But now I’m awake and I can’t remember how I did it
I’m so pleased to share that The Climate Book is now available in the USA and Canada! I have gathered the wisdom of over one hundred contributors to highlight the many different crises we face and equip us with the knowledge we need to avoid a climate disaster. 1/2
I will equip you with the confidence to step up smartly and say yes, I will accept an inappropriately generous gift.
You have our permission to let Khumbie brighten up your Sunday 🌞
my new shampoo/conditioner makes my hair smell great and I look sexy as hell
sometimes i'll rail in against a can of beans so hard it's like a sickness.
A lady at the bar came up and asked me if I was from Wisconsin. I said “no ma’am I’m just blonde and fat.” She said “oh okay” and walked away.
As soon as the sun begins to darken today, I'm going to bed.
Hanging with a gen-z dude has taught me that sharing instagram reels is a sign of respect and endearment in their culture
you can't always get what you want but you can buy an Arby's roast beef sandwich and pretend
you win some and you lose some and you lose some and you lose some and you lose some and you lose some and
There are two kinds of people in my life, and I love them both!
Eclipse or not, I'm opening an interdimensional portal tomorrow.
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