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Tweets25K
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Followers3K
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Following2K
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Likes111K
Adam retweeted
Badasses wear capes. Look at the facts. Batman wears a cape. Lando has a cape… - my kid, about to turn high school fashion on its ear.
Adam retweeted
🐳Update: We have decided to launch Spoutible.com at Noon EST tomorrow to give everyone in different time zones a fair chance to register the Spoutible handle they want. We want to make the launch as fair as possible.
Adam retweeted
The moment a C. S. Lewis fan begins to deconstruct
Adam retweeted
Alvin wanted a hula hoop for Christmas, the bar is set pretty low when Dave is raising three rodent sons
Adam retweeted
The Talmud my students are studying addressed this topic of incels and experts demanding redistribution of sex, around 1500 years ago
Winter storms are coming so be prepared for the usual possibilities this time of year: power outages, frozen pipes, conservatives joking about global warming, and so on
Adam retweeted
"Come on, George R.R. Martin, get on with it." - me, waiting for the dog to poop
Water freezes at exactly 32° Fahrenheit. So the water in one of these is probably 32.0001° F
Adam retweeted
Can I fax it to you? No Cindy, it’s 2022.
Adam retweeted
My 2yo is considered functionally mute. He's getting a tablet to help him communicate. This morning he spoke is the best phrase I've ever heard. Every word crisp and clear. He said, "No sing, Mommy. Hush."
Adam retweeted
🐳122,656 people have preregistered for Spoutible! Spoutible is one of the most anticipated Twitter alternatives soon to launch, and I am excited! I am not sure how much longer it will be before we are on Elon's radar, so please preregister here: preregister.spoutible.com
Adam retweeted
Let's say that there's two sets of kids. North side kids and South side kids. They live a few hours apart, but only have a single school to go to that they must share. And the school is on the South Side
Adam retweeted
skiing is the only place u can get sunburn and frostbite at the same time
Adam retweeted
My hungry ass thought it was a bowl of soup
Adam retweeted
When we launch the Spoutible beta, it will feel like a finished product, and Spoutible will deliver everything we love about Twitter. No picking servers, no hard-to-understand features, and no laggy performance issues. Preregister for the beta here: preregister.spoutible.com
Adam retweeted
🐳Spoutible update: We have accelerated development to deliver a beta in mid-January. However, we will have an alpha ready soon to allow journalists to test it and write about it. We can shorten development time by tabling certain features without sacrificing security...
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbol
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
Jason Not Evil @JasonNotEvil
17K Followers 4K Following Screenwriter and fart joke enthusiast Popular tweets: https://t.co/cVlfPJFRBK
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
DamnFineTweet @damnfinetweet
13K Followers 3K Following RIP DamnFineTweet 8/7/2019-4/27/2023 thank you for 85000 trophies and a million good vibes. I'll miss you!
NurseBrianRN @rn_murse
19K Followers 823 Following Singer-Songscreamer I Gay Homosexual I Pubic Figure | Fourth Thing
Unindicted President .. @PopeAwesomeXIII
13K Followers 2K Following Commercially Inviable. ✌️ 29th US President (1921-1923) 🧐 Tip jar! https://t.co/Igf16XkzWv ❤ He/Him 👍 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️ ❤️ See pinned for migration info
Daveastated @Daveastated
7K Followers 1K Following Now I am become Dave, the destroyer of words. *Inventor of the flinglong* I only sleep to give my phone a break
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname
11K Followers 2K Following slowly backing away. TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/K8oKqyuL84 click below for recent. I’m the same guy at the other places.
Nate Limit Exceeded @.. @perlhack
22K Followers 6K Following @natesmith.jawns.club homeless pirate. sustainable, carbon-neutral tweets. butterfly whisperer. official soup taster. likes LEGOs BLM. He/Him.
He Called Me Greenhor.. @WhatsAGreenhorn
9K Followers 3K Following He called me Greenhorn. I called him Tony Randall. It was a thing we had.
McDad @mcdadstuff
9K Followers 2K Following I like dad jokes and I cannot lie. https://t.co/bbtLUiYKKg Find more of my tweets here ⬇️
Ellie-mae Browing @BrowingMae71010
76 Followers 5K Following
Maxie Ellerby @MaxieEller3245
81 Followers 5K Following
Roseline Kaiwi @kaiwi_kaiw
12 Followers 2K Following
كاش أملج👅 @smrllli
99 Followers 530 Following
HarlowBloke @Justice819963
393 Followers 146 Following I once divided people into two groups - those that are largely self contained, and those that crave company. But life is not Black+White, it is Shades of Grey.
Delilah Melusky @DeliMelus
73 Followers 5K Following
Peace Alconcel @alconc_pea
27 Followers 5K Following
Diana Lean @DianaLean70106
89 Followers 5K Following
Redkat5000 @Redkat5000
112 Followers 475 Following
Queeny Grace @QueenyGrac80092
9 Followers 625 Following
❤️🖤🌒Goth Ic.. @goth_ick_mom
153 Followers 478 Following Just a mom with dark humor. No DM rooms. https://t.co/6roqrjGFnm
Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilarious
Charleigh Storrs @CharleighS17566
88 Followers 5K Following
Christine Letang @ChristineL7756
82 Followers 5K Following
Elonmusk_ @elonmusk_ab8
761 Followers 5K Following
Shesmede @shesmede78418
18 Followers 2K Following
Amiyah Liesch @amiya_lies
32 Followers 5K Following
Callie Kray @CallieKray84283
42 Followers 5K Following
LisMc @LisMc5
11K Followers 6K Following Baudelaire & a fireside nightcap is a dream I had once https://t.co/aIY1Ev8VBQ
Leighton Hamn @HamnLeighto
78 Followers 5K Following
Paula @paula18campbell
134 Followers 3K Following
Binderdunnit @njpc1888
2K Followers 3K Following I was born very young in Paisley because I wanted to be near my mother; now I'm older and wider. Diagnosed with Aspergers. Scotland deserves better than the UK.
Vijay Khanna @VijayUnique001
3 Followers 20 Following
JodingersCat-astrophe @JMoneySlimer
2K Followers 2K Following If you think I post a lot of crap, you should see what I delete: Ghost account for @JodingersCat
Margo @margo4vandenbos
135 Followers 3K Following
Rita cona @rita_cona91243
85 Followers 1K Following
Marquitta Shorkey @MarquittaS69432
76 Followers 5K Following
Southern Goddess (Dol.. @Dramafest420
1K Followers 5K Following #Findom Queen #FEMDOM #domme #paypigs Southern Beauty ❤️ Come worship me & serve my needs. I can only respond to DMs after tribute, my phone won't allow me.
Neoma Shala @neoma_shal45315
105 Followers 5K Following
Georgianne Tankxley @GTankxley70629
91 Followers 5K Following
Karys Samantha @KaSamant
76 Followers 5K Following
Kris @cutie_kris69
190 Followers 973 Following +18 Account! ALL MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED! Let’s relieve some stress together right now.🥵 SNAP:Cutie_kris69
Ivy-rose Mcbrown @IvyMcbrown94779
77 Followers 5K Following
Christie Mittelstaedt @ChristieMi5959
88 Followers 5K Following
古明雄 @gu_xiong93649
52 Followers 2K Following
† 𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐚�.. @metalinangelo
1K Followers 3K Following •†•🕯 @SanctuaryOfMana & @Mana_AiArtWorks admin •†•🕯 Veteran Goth / Occultist •†•🕯 Over-thinker / Introspective/ Javaphile / Tech Enthusiast / Collector 💙🖤
Lilli Moore @2diamond_lil
906 Followers 864 Following Paparazzi Independent Jewelry Consultant ..beautiful budget friendly jewelry, add some sparkle to your life, make the world a better place for all.
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbol
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
Jason Not Evil @JasonNotEvil
17K Followers 4K Following Screenwriter and fart joke enthusiast Popular tweets: https://t.co/cVlfPJFRBK
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
DamnFineTweet @damnfinetweet
13K Followers 3K Following RIP DamnFineTweet 8/7/2019-4/27/2023 thank you for 85000 trophies and a million good vibes. I'll miss you!
NurseBrianRN @rn_murse
19K Followers 823 Following Singer-Songscreamer I Gay Homosexual I Pubic Figure | Fourth Thing
Unindicted President .. @PopeAwesomeXIII
13K Followers 2K Following Commercially Inviable. ✌️ 29th US President (1921-1923) 🧐 Tip jar! https://t.co/Igf16XkzWv ❤ He/Him 👍 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️ ❤️ See pinned for migration info
Daveastated @Daveastated
7K Followers 1K Following Now I am become Dave, the destroyer of words. *Inventor of the flinglong* I only sleep to give my phone a break
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname
11K Followers 2K Following slowly backing away. TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/K8oKqyuL84 click below for recent. I’m the same guy at the other places.
Nate Limit Exceeded @.. @perlhack
22K Followers 6K Following @natesmith.jawns.club homeless pirate. sustainable, carbon-neutral tweets. butterfly whisperer. official soup taster. likes LEGOs BLM. He/Him.
He Called Me Greenhor.. @WhatsAGreenhorn
9K Followers 3K Following He called me Greenhorn. I called him Tony Randall. It was a thing we had.
Wander0nce @Wander0nceAgain
98 Followers 197 Following Exvangelical. Deconstructing Reformed Calvinism. I've been told I need to smile more.
Heretics Social Club @hereticssocial
251 Followers 482 Following Two recovering evangelicals trying to bring levity and understanding to the unknowable. New episodes every other Sunday. Won't you join us, friends?
Gritty is the Way @Gritty20202
65K Followers 3K Following "The Republican and Democratic parties, or, to be more exact, the Republican-Democratic party, represent the capitalist class in the class struggle." - E V Debs
(((anti-antisemite))) @Tristanshouts
5K Followers 6K Following Writer. Ranter. Feminist. Woman. Jewish.
Jacana Mommy @jacanamommy
2K Followers 712 Following Professional Mom to 7 kids. Sharing mom life and more so you can laugh with me or laugh at me 😜 Content Creator at ScaryMommy
Sefaria | Free Virtua.. @SefariaProject
10K Followers 871 Following Read virtual Torah, Talmud, Halakhah, Kabbalah, and more—in Hebrew and a growing number of translations: https://t.co/Kp5SZet13s. Free, thanks to your generous support!
Sam Reich @samreich
142K Followers 2K Following 🧢 CEO: Dropout 🎤 Host: Game Changer, Make Some Noise 🌸 he / him Follow me for Dropout references and dumb jokes.
leah🌷 @LeahBSassy
37K Followers 2K Following teacher, musician, Bavinckian • thankful God made laughter • M.Div/M.M.
Lord Vulgaris @VulgarisInsanis
943 Followers 2K Following I’m a joke and this is my account. I like to fucking swear. As seen on @ThePoke. PoGO 962592941657
the World's Greatest .. @JAMnit_JAM
379 Followers 222 Following Asshole, JAMnit Studios CEO, Pres. of the Psyduck fanclub, a literal Lord, Twitter therapist, and the world's greatest narcissist. PS: Also postscripts a lot.
the hum of the fridge @socialblasphemy
311 Followers 762 Following notorious Sandwich Icarus • I will fistfight god in a Denny's parking lot • they/them • 'we shoulda stayed fish'
Christopher Bouzy (sp.. @cbouzy
358K Followers 6K Following When I was 9, I started coding on a Mattel Aquarius computer. I developed several products in my 20s & 30s, and then in 2018, I launched Bot Sentinel.
Lorena Bobbitt enthus.. @CiaraMF_
268 Followers 315 Following Ciara (she/her). morally bankrupt but politically left. all opinions are my own.
Joanna McClinton @Joanna4PA
36K Followers 2K Following I'm a preacher, lawyer, and the FIRST WOMAN to lead the #PAHOUSE as Speaker! Life goal = social engineer! Legislative Account - @RepMcClinton
Michael @Safe1wordMike
707 Followers 763 Following Professional napper, rehabilitated trumplican, grandpa to four,self employed
The Cancer Survivors .. @Echo7Sabers
144 Followers 93 Following I have stories. More than I asked for. Yet not afraid to share and learn and love.
RELEVANT @RELEVANT
210K Followers 54K Following Covering the intersection of faith, life and culture.
eli's dog,farf,is in .. @farfnme
4K Followers 5K Following inventor of the coin operated mirror;the new software upgrade allows you to see you as you would have others see you. no refunds.Used Air Guitars for sale/trade
⛏️Amy Whatsherbut.. @PfftMaybe
1K Followers 1K Following Oof. Not very active here anymore. DM for contact info.
Jake Horse Art Status @JakeHorseArt
9 Followers 1 Following Is Jake's header still the horse art? Check header for daily updates
Bruce Robertson 🇨�.. @brobertson93
6K Followers 6K Following 🇨🇦 first but Made in Manitoba™ on Anishinabewaki land. Vaccines work 💉 #GoHabsGo 🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️Ally. 🚫 DM's. #SlavaUkraini 🇺🇦 Same handle on #Spoutible
Mama Scar @___nwahs___
5K Followers 3K Following be better humans. married. be kind. horror movies. sunrises. sunsets. photography. no dms. msu. red wings. spartan strong.
Eman El-husseini @emanifique
4K Followers 1K Following Stand Up El-Comic 🇵🇸 1/2 @theelsalomons She/Her/Her Highness
LaughCryCoffee @laughcrycoffee
1K Followers 479 Following Here to commiserate about life with toddlers. Featured on HuffPost and Today. Now on insta!
Jennie Egerdie @hijennieblair
4K Followers 2K Following 🇨🇦 Author OH BOTHER + Frog and Toad Are Doing Their Best (@vulture Best of 2021) | Words @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys | Rep @LauraMazer | she/they
smilesofrage @smilesofrage
1K Followers 4K Following Stay-at-home beagle mom. Aspiring trophy wife. Notorious pain in the ass and a daily disappointment.
Nancy is looking for .. @formeryooper62
1K Followers 2K Following Mom of two adults, social worker, staff to one scardy cat. Living in the Lower, only miss the UP in the summer
worthless skeleton @okaythenmila
19 Followers 18 Following just a grl goin thru it: a memoir (and an alt account)
Amazing Human / Geniu.. @redtapecowgirl
6K Followers 6K Following Nerd. Geek. Fan. Hall H Survivor. Trekkie. Whovian. Dog mom. Lover of sarcasm, courage, kindness, honesty, and a boy genius with a box.
pat piper @patpiper10000
429 Followers 1K Following im on your team. bullshit mindset can fuck off. he/him https://t.co/WLZaUJscRe
Temporary Sequel @NoFabTobi
2K Followers 651 Following This is not the main account. I’m back at the main after the lock-out.
Joe Sanders @GRectionDude
1K Followers 5K Following Musician, progressive, pothead, gamer and humorist from Montana 😃 US Army veteran. Friendly and creative.
Dr. Jen Wolkin | ADHD.. @drjenwolkin
83K Followers 3K Following •Neurodivergent Neuropsychologist •Sharing ADHD + Trauma Info • Helping you SurThrive✨Trauma Changes the Brain + So Does Healing✨ XO, Dr. Jen
LaLaLyds @LaLa_Lyds
19K Followers 4K Following nostalgic for last week's tuna sandwich. knock it off.
luke warm tweets @lukejarret
3K Followers 807 Following Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life if the thing you love is night shifts. ////////// link to my top tweets👇
Sarah O'Brien @fluent_SARAcasm
2K Followers 2K Following Mama of Baby T❤️ Author. Poet. Painter. Comedian. Psychic. @sarahthatpoet. Bisexual. Moody. Preschool Teacher. Leo Sun/Libra Moon/Virgo Rising.
Nayele18 @nayele18maybe
6K Followers 767 Following I don't want to hold your baby. https://t.co/j5EntsyPAc@BrosefWtheMosef I think about this tweet once a month at a minimum.
I stg, I never say “cool beans” at the right time.
@CorreaEra @InternetH0F What generation do you think that video is from genius?
@CorreaEra @InternetH0F But.... this video... is this generation. Proving we do.
@InternetH0F Actually that's wrong. Skin to skin calms the baby. Father and mother. It's the way the baby starts understanding their parents. Larisa I'm assuming doesn't have any children or gave birth without the father in the room?
fellas is it creepy to be a good dad?
@thomasthecat I’m all ears
@PopCulture2000s Looks like the high school drama teacher with his students after the annual production. 😂
Husband: *choking on a Dorito* Me: Wait. When did we get Doritos?
holy shit i am crying
@mtgreenee @JoeBiden Unbelievable that has to be explained to you☝️! What Biden is doing is called reinvesting our tax dollars back into the populace instead of the ultra-wealthy's pockets. Hundreds of millions of Americans depend on our social services, like Social Security, for survival. Your…
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