Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood
leaving it all out on the field for Season 14 of Clue Heywood, just in case it's not renewed. [email protected] Arizona, USA Joined March 2009-
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MIDNIGHT LOBSTER ROLLS! oh god I’m 47 years old just let me sleep Jesus Christ
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Clue Heywood retweeted
@ClueHeywood The Latter Day Skates
Clue Heywood retweeted
One time I went to a Goose show and a chill ass dog just walked onto the stage mid song and they just kept playing while he stood there getting pets
Been listening to more Widespread recently, my final form as an aging southern frat dude in a white three-bar hat and croakies on my sunglasses has never been closer
Utah hockey jerseys should be short sleeve white dress shirts with name tags on the front left pocket, “Elder Schmaltz” etc
Starting Jace Peterson at shortstop
My mobile “swallow studies” van has people asking a lot of questions I thought were answered by the van
It’s human instinct to exit a place via the same way you entered. Most of us have evolved beyond that; we use our intelligence to solve these minor everyday problems. Except for the morons who walk down parking garage ramps.
Passed a funeral procession on the freeway and immediately thought how funny it would be to do a PIT maneuver on the hearse, this is what my diseased brain does to me every minute of the day
When an Arizona GOP legislator who’s been making baseless election fraud claims for years suddenly withdraws his 2024 candidacy because of a lawsuit alleging his petition signatures are forged and it also gets referred to the Attorney General’s office for investigation
Alright fine I admit it I am a little sad about the Coyotes leaving. A lot of good memories going to games with the kid (home and away), the 2012 playoff run, the kachina best logo in sports. Ownership and the League can suck a big ol fat saguaro.
Received a text from my pest control company that gave me the option to tip the pest control guy. It seems minor but this might be the stage of Late Capitalism that finally makes me lose my shit
Clue Heywood retweeted
I love bowling and the show Scandal but I wish I could combine the two somehow
How Ketel Marte doesn’t wear number 1 is beyond me, missed marketing opportunity to hopeless alcoholics imo
When the much younger ladyfriend meets me at the bar I love to loudly say “but the escort service told me you were gonna be Asian!” and she doesn’t find it nearly as funny as I do, some ppl don’t like fun I guess
Went to my Doc today, got stuck with his nurse practitioner, so I asked her to give him the 1980 Topps Eddie Murray card I brought him with a little note that said I was seeing Dead & Co at the Sphere on June 14-15, normal shit that now really seems weird at night
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@ClueHeywood @edsbs Or as my friend and former boss describes it. A concert by the remaining members of the Grateful Dead, and John Mayer.
@ClueHeywood @edsbs 6/7 here, I’ll sweep up when we leave so it’s nice for you.
@ClueHeywood @edsbs Ass whopping? They needed to score 50 points to beat us that year, in tucson… I think I just watched Trung Candidate run for another 50 yard touchdown. Fuckkkkkkkk
@ClueHeywood @edsbs Donate to this instead of the Democrats, Clue
@ClueHeywood Just drop off anonymous envelops of cash. I believe this is how the dentists and car dealerships and plastic surgeons are doing it for Republicans.
@ClueHeywood @scott_almhjell Pull up instagram anywhere near a jamband show and brother, boy do they.
@ClueHeywood The owner posted this on his facebook. I use to work for him and knew exactly what was going on 😂
@ClueHeywood Gotta put the young folks onto the classics
@ClueHeywood We’ll see you in June, I’ll run up to Golden fill a cooler with your sweet nectar for the pregame.
6.23.23 Morrison, CO. Panic @ Red Rocks
@ClueHeywood Next you’ll be sneaking in some shrooms to the Government Mule concert with some dude you traded shows with that you met on a listserv
@crismikematt @ClueHeywood He’s good, easy to root for him. Really all the DBacks are, except for Joc
@ClueHeywood you're just waiting until Taylor announces it's a triple album I assume?
@ClueHeywood I had a rich meal Monday and laid awake all night with a stomachache. It’s the curse of getting old, now you can afford the nice meal and your body pays the price
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