DaddyJew @DaddyJew
https://t.co/Qr6s4sDsmX twitter.com/DaddyJew/timel… Baltimore, MD Joined November 2011-
Tweets15K
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Followers42K
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Following1K
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Likes198K
Preparing my first Passover meal for the family. Wish me luck
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DaddyJew retweeted
Just another day of I shouldn't have tweeted but did.
DaddyJew retweeted
Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad”
DaddyJew retweeted
There should be a bajillion spinoffs for The Princess Bride like there are for Star Wars
DaddyJew retweeted
i catch myself explaining myself to myself so much that it's getting weird
DaddyJew retweeted
she was an open book, he was illiterate
DaddyJew retweeted
[being murdered] Me: But do you think I’m pretty?!
DaddyJew retweeted
I wonder how many love songs were actually written about sandwiches I bet it's a lot
DaddyJew retweeted
wanna get milkshakes and maybe rob a bank or two?
DaddyJew retweeted
I don’t think people have to be okay all the time. Nor can they be.
DaddyJew retweeted
I am 'those teenagers look like they're up to something' years old
Swimming for the first time: judging by the looks of it, i think i gotta beat the shit out of this water to survive
DaddyJew retweeted
No one: My cat at 4:12 am: These curtains are stupid, I’m taking them down
DaddyJew retweeted
Pardon me, do you have any mind altering substances?
DaddyJew retweeted
Surely this airport salad will make up for all previous gluttony
DaddyJew retweeted
I have the paper towel habit of a much richer man.
DaddyJew retweeted
what's it called when you get performance anxiety but the performance is just leaving your house
DaddyJew retweeted
Another day, another are you fucking kidding me
DaddyJew retweeted
People that eat yogurt need to relax. Stop scraping the bottom 27 times. Its blueberry yogurt not crack.
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I wish the media f*cked with Lamar, the way athletes do.
NBA Players voted anonymously on who their favorite non NBA athlete is… Lamar Jackson was voted the favorite.
Your favorite player's favorite player 🔥
then there’s me in ‘from dusk til bong’ (24/7)
salma hayek in ‘from dusk till dawn’ (1996)
Does anyone know if the boys are back in town?
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Them: you smell nice Me: thanks, it’s the dryer sheet I just found in my sleeve
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@PicturesFoIder Newly Born Twins meeting each other for the first time
Just another day of I shouldn't have tweeted but did.
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Living under a rock doesn't sound so bad right about now.
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