Drunk Dreamer @ElgatoEsmio
When I drink during a full moon I turn into an unawarewolf. IG @elgatoesmio twitter.com/search/from:el… Joined August 2012-
Tweets53K
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Followers22K
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Following16K
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Likes138K
Drunk Dreamer retweeted
Gmail changed their terms and conditions but I stayed the same.
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Drunk Dreamer retweeted
I’m a grownup, and I can stay up as late as I want, which is why I choose to go to sleep at 830 PM.
don't you hate it when you have to get up for water and there's moss all over the faucet and you realize you're just a ghost
Drunk Dreamer retweeted
Mrs Kelly: what should we name him? Mr Kelly: (eyes wide af) MACHINE GUN
Drunk Dreamer retweeted
Depression in midlife is like "what if I took a nap on the floor"
Drunk Dreamer retweeted
I always fear that oneday I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet
Drunk Dreamer retweeted
Found a new shitty way to fold a fitted sheet.
Drunk Dreamer retweeted
Being surrounded by people who talk too much can be confusing to the many voices in my head.
Drunk Dreamer retweeted
I could be a better person but who’s got the time?
Drunk Dreamer retweeted
My doctor: OK I see you've put on some weight during the pandemic, let's talk about ways you can reduc... Me: JUST THE EAR INFECTION FOR TODAY, THANK YOU
Drunk Dreamer retweeted
Another day, another are you fucking kidding me
Drunk Dreamer retweeted
Who you are while driving behind a really shitty driver is the real you
Drunk Dreamer retweeted
Instead of doing it right, find a new way to fuck it up.
Drunk Dreamer retweeted
Drunk Dreamer retweeted
Reply guy? More like Reply Legend
Drunk Dreamer retweeted
Drunk Dreamer retweeted
Get outta here you turkey
Drunk Dreamer retweeted
Nothing prepared me for the complete dumbing down of our species
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No, this tweet does not have to make sense to you
I’m a grownup, and I can stay up as late as I want, which is why I choose to go to sleep at 830 PM.
Mrs Kelly: what should we name him? Mr Kelly: (eyes wide af) MACHINE GUN
Depression in midlife is like "what if I took a nap on the floor"
I always fear that oneday I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet
Being surrounded by people who talk too much can be confusing to the many voices in my head.
I could be a better person but who’s got the time?
My doctor: OK I see you've put on some weight during the pandemic, let's talk about ways you can reduc... Me: JUST THE EAR INFECTION FOR TODAY, THANK YOU
Another day, another are you fucking kidding me
Who you are while driving behind a really shitty driver is the real you
Instead of doing it right, find a new way to fuck it up.
It’s Tuesday I like them all shrug
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