Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

Halksmush! Professional Tortoise sitter for hire. Penguin counter. Dowfart. Noble Prize Winner. There a lot of them!!! Totally suitable for home freezing..🐧🐧 The too hot for penguin apoc.. Joined October 2015

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Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

2 years ago

I have a really nasty cold. It's not quite man flu but close. But we're all going to die tomorrow in a nuclear war so I really shouldn't moan...

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Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

2 years ago

Best parents ever...! (Or grandparents. Probably grandparents because we really fucking old thinking about it...) Which you definitely shouldn't because it's upsetting...

Matthew Alan Mullins @MatthewAMullins

2 years ago

Best parents ever...! (Or grandparents. Probably grandparents because we really fucking old thinking about it...) Which you definitely shouldn't because it's upsetting... https://t.co/zxnIx7CMqH

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Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

2 years ago

I'm buying some fluffy ear muffs and you can't fucking stop me!!! #KeepYourEarsWarm

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Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

2 years ago

Before you tweet about the nurses strike can I just make the small point, but an important one.. They put a thing up my willy once, and didn't laugh. This is why I clap and support my #nhs #willynurse 😘

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Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

2 years ago

Had a power cut last night and went to bed. Power suddenly came back on and fell out of bed with the sudden shock of noise.... Hurt my head. I now have a shit tolerance for your bullshit today. Fuck today.

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Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

2 years ago

I have no electric which is bad news for Prince, Bob Dylan and the Power Generation.. #BristolBlackOut... 🔦

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Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

2 years ago

Only took to 05/10/2022 before the first power cut...

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Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

2 years ago

Counting Penguins is trending. @angieba66473949 @petleg9 I wasn't involved in this Penguin survey so I wouldn't trust the numbers.. 🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

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Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

2 years ago

Young people going to start to not investing in pensions for their future and that is totally understandable because incoming nuclear war and plague's n' stuff..!!! But.. What if you don't die in the Apocalypse? Have you asked yourself that? Visit #HalkPensionFund "We got ya!"

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Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

2 years ago

It's Sunday. Do nothing.

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Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

2 years ago

The thing about football is that it is really fucking shit...

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Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

2 years ago

Me: "I don't accept the premise your question." @edfenergy : "Your bill is going up." Me: "But I don't accept the premise." EDF: "You still have to pay it you understand that right?" Me: "I DO NOT ACCEPT THE PREMISE OF THIS LINE OF QUESTIONING!!!"

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Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

2 years ago

Just tried to top up my electric key with a list of Vladimir Putin's aggression and it's impact on global energy prices and fiscal confidence. The newsagent told me to fuck off and give him £20. I also bought some Space Raiders crisps.. 37p!!!! Worlds gone fucking bonkers.

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Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

2 years ago

I've had the radio on in the background all day every day for days. I still don't understand anything about economy driven inflation, bond markets, interest rate stuff or why a Fredo now costs $1.12? I do think however we probably should be angry about stuff.

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Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

2 years ago

"There is never a good day to have a strike. That's the whole fucking point in striking first.." @NASA & the @RMTunion come together in support of violence against space rocks but agree wage stagnation in critical public service pay & science is bad... It's Tuesday.

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Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

2 years ago

I really don't think I can take another shopping trolley pound coin slot smaller than before insanity again...

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Halksmush Number Two. @JurgenKloppDog

2 years ago

I have a sterling joke...

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Becky Clark @beckyclark83

2 years ago

Your chances of being followed home by 13 completely absurd yearling king penguin chicks are low... but never zero here in the #Falklands. Sound on to hear their siren song.