Marl @Marlebean
If you innocently act like you don't know, people will explain dirty words to you and it's hilarious. twitter.com/search?q=from%… in a van down by the river Joined August 2012-
Tweets174K
-
Followers40K
-
Following7K
-
Likes217K
Marl retweeted
Her corn shell flared delicately as she curtsied. She was the taco belle. Everyone at the fiesta loved her.
0
1
5
251
0
Marl retweeted
Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad”
Marl retweeted
Nice trousers. Where did you get them? Forever 61?
Marl retweeted
Might fuck around and reply "that sounds like a you problem" to every work email today.
Marl retweeted
Forget girl math, "girl gas" is when I hand the guy my credit card and don't look so gas is free
Marl retweeted
You can keep your money I got some hot babes with new accounts liking my tweets left and right
Marl retweeted
Let it go, let it go.... Cant hold it back anymore.... - My internal dialogue when I have to fart on the bus.
Marl retweeted
Its so fuckin cold right now I'm afraid to even fart. I'm not letting ANY warmth out at the moment.
Marl retweeted
22 yrs old: falls down stairs on way to work. gets up and is fine. 42 yrs old: sleeps on the wrong pillow, neck hurts for 3 weeks.
Marl retweeted
[dumping jar of pennies in front of the IRS] How much not jail can I get with this many moneys?
Marl retweeted
Don’t think of it as a bad childhood. Think of it as mitigating circumstances.
Marl retweeted
Maintenance, Scheduled Maintenance.
Marl retweeted
Well, I suppose an apology is in order. I mean, I'm not going to provide one, I just wanted you to know I was aware it would be appropriate
Marl retweeted
Every single 70s soft rock music producer: "it's nothing some flute and Micheal McDonald in the background can't fix"
Marl retweeted
"Get me some ice cream, I gave blood today" Him: "You can't say that every month!" {Clutches ovaries} "GASP"
Marl retweeted
Some guy messaged me 👉👌 I think he's confused about how rock, paper, scissors works...
Marl retweeted
Inflation is even affecting children My kid asked what I would buy with a trillion dollars! A Trillion! That question was a million when I was his age!
Marl retweeted
People that can quote the movie Airplane are my kind of people.
Marl retweeted
Mother Nature: It’s only fair that women over 40 be hot, but a different kind of hot than younger women. That my friends is how hot flashes were created.
Marl retweeted
“You want to put that inside Elmo?” “Yes.” “And Elmo get twenty dollars?” “That’s right.” “Elmo want to see money first.”
your other mom @difficultpatty
37K Followers 964 Following Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://t.co/sVPCoTC4Pw
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
27K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVph
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2
Mad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
23K Followers 4K Following sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsnd
Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
56K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔
Village Person @SvnSxty
31K Followers 4K Following If you support ethnic cleansing, kindly fuck off 😊 Find me and follow me @SvnSxty on all platforms. my tweets ⤵️
That Mom Tho @mom_tho
47K Followers 3K Following contributor @scarymommy @romper [email protected] Tweets: https://t.co/5zWeBtUUx6
Saint Vivica, Patron .. @QueenVofCoffee
18K Followers 2K Following DM Room cheerleader & typo goddess. 56% funny. TH: @Conchvegas1 . Avi by ToonMe. Header: @dimplesticks. https://t.co/dRgjRopfud
@itssherifield @itssherifield
13K Followers 1K Following Musician mama of 3 treading water and taking names Formerly @Lmemeit IG and TikTok: @itssherifield https://t.co/PEkz5e5DfK
HunnyHiive @HunnyHiive
232 Followers 379 Following Navigating the joys & challenges of parenthood. Dedicated to promoting mental well-being and sharing insightful parenting tips. Join me on this journey! #Parent
I’m Greg Shaker Dam.. @GregShaker
6K Followers 2K Following Professional Gambler who resides in Memphis Tennessee. Strong Edge Player in all Major American Sports.
Simon @SimontheHood
264 Followers 555 Following
efc @efc79474673
152 Followers 1K Following
Bruce Munson @BruceNMunson
9K Followers 8K Following I have never had a Tweet go viral, but I have had several go bacterial.
MK Iodine @6_string_theory
2K Followers 5K Following #Fumetti-meister, guitarist, lover of comedy. (Unless expressly stated, I do not own the rights to any of the images I've so cruelly defiled.)
jan goodman @janimarieb
3 Followers 37 Following
Raychull🐝 @raedeeebrnz
410 Followers 2K Following Lover of nature, warm cups of tea, and three day weekends. Wife of @Zbeees1 • Girl mom • TAURUS. Ennea TWO, strong type 4.📍TX
Khan Khan6060 @KKhan6060753
129 Followers 2K Following
chorizoconpapas @chorizoconpapas
745 Followers 4K Following where the birds sing a pretty song and there's always music in the air
Scott Loudoun @scottloudoun
606 Followers 696 Following Victoria BC resident ♑️ astrologer/pop culture analyst/meme God (he/him/it)
Abigail Alexandra @Ale23768Abigail
350 Followers 6K Following
XRPLion1 -Messenger o.. @LionDavid21634
3K Followers 2K Following son of the Most High Living God,cousin w/WD GANN: Sacred Math RSR 37 yrs,Philomath,14th Gen Am. Chairman &founder,Humanitarian Trust Compliance Services™
Hassam @HassamAftab12
3K Followers 3K Following
K Morton @ksthornton
2K Followers 5K Following Daughter of loving, ethical members of the greatest generation, wife, proud mother of 2 loving, ethical millennials, love to laugh, thinker-wannabe doer
Benny Boop☘️💋�.. @Bernadette10197
860 Followers 1K Following though she be but little she is fierce #BillsMafia 💙❤️ #BuffaloSabres 💙💛Choose🕊🖤 Ride🌊2024#Biden/Harris EndDV💜
Ribsy @Ribsyonsports
255 Followers 2K Following
Scott Frank @argcomms
601 Followers 2K Following Sharing a mix Trump bashing, sports thoughts, indie music info, food stuff, cool photos and assorted nonsense. The North Remembers...
Mudpuppy @1mudpuppy1
730 Followers 1K Following
vicente LUCAS @vicentelucas45
3K Followers 5K Following 𝓐𝓵𝔀𝓪𝔂𝓼 𝓴𝓮𝓮𝓹 𝓭𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓶𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 I love my country and I love my job🇺🇸
P T @Pt2Topshelf
431 Followers 4K Following
Steph Christian @steph_christ77
2K Followers 4K Following Intelligence is the abilities to adapt to change. God Bless 🇺🇸
Alistair Thackeray @althackeray
3 Followers 104 Following
Shaun Marteene @SMarteene99156
9 Followers 59 Following
Uncle Paulie @PaulieUncl26255
75 Followers 328 Following Just a wise guy,a goodfella, Back from a stretch, remember it's nice to be nice 👍🏻 We all have problems
Tommy @Tommy4579915573
140 Followers 909 Following
ರಮೇಶ್ ರ�.. @ramesha10111
294 Followers 2K Following
ᒪᗴ丅 丅ᕼᗴ �.. @000Authentic
17K Followers 18K Following 🍃❤ Hope for the best ⭐ prepared for the worst 🔮💫
Lisa Dell @PinataNonGrata
25 Followers 169 Following I’m on Twitter for Jorts the Cat (and Jean) content @JortstheCat. That’s it. (Pronouns: she/her)
Mr. Cheyenne Dhraga @CheyenneDhraga
23K Followers 25K Following I am a writer/video maker. We are all in this together. FB all writers and resisters. Be love. (he/him) #IamaForceForGood #OpenHeartedManifesto ❓🤣@☮️❤️➕🧠
Johnson Benjamin @Ben33033Johnson
66 Followers 617 Following work as civil engineer in USA, West Palm Beach Florida 🇱🇷
PJMG ☮️ @PJMG71636355
374 Followers 991 Following Learning. Not afraid to change. Long way to go, but traveling happy.
Olivia Jane @oliviajane777
95 Followers 912 Following BBW MILF 🌶️ Southern Girl Kinda Weird 🤪 Definitely a nerd 🤓 18 ⬆️ only CA: $oliviajane777
@november17's Chocola.. @november17
8K Followers 7K Following just here to add more useless information to the internet / sh*tposting #DetroitTechno #Atlanta
charlie’s dad @Xszcrpk1
506 Followers 3K Following I’m just a little odd. Liberty loving ammosexual, sharing is caring (IYKYK), some things may be 18+ 🤷🏽♂️
your other mom @difficultpatty
37K Followers 964 Following Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://t.co/sVPCoTC4Pw
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
27K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVph
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2
Mad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
23K Followers 4K Following sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsnd
Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
56K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔
Village Person @SvnSxty
31K Followers 4K Following If you support ethnic cleansing, kindly fuck off 😊 Find me and follow me @SvnSxty on all platforms. my tweets ⤵️
That Mom Tho @mom_tho
47K Followers 3K Following contributor @scarymommy @romper [email protected] Tweets: https://t.co/5zWeBtUUx6
Saint Vivica, Patron .. @QueenVofCoffee
18K Followers 2K Following DM Room cheerleader & typo goddess. 56% funny. TH: @Conchvegas1 . Avi by ToonMe. Header: @dimplesticks. https://t.co/dRgjRopfud
@itssherifield @itssherifield
13K Followers 1K Following Musician mama of 3 treading water and taking names Formerly @Lmemeit IG and TikTok: @itssherifield https://t.co/PEkz5e5DfK
Raychull🐝 @raedeeebrnz
410 Followers 2K Following Lover of nature, warm cups of tea, and three day weekends. Wife of @Zbeees1 • Girl mom • TAURUS. Ennea TWO, strong type 4.📍TX
Poli-Twi Major 📚 @KimberlySBerger
186 Followers 78 Following Doting mom, loving wife, political news junkie.
Aidy @NightsWithAidy
229 Followers 358 Following Everybody loves an independent woman until they want to tell her what to do. Get in, loser. We're taking this clown show on the road.
Joe Wilkins @wilkins63
698 Followers 1K Following I never claimed to know it all, except slow sad songs and alcohol - Doc Dailey Photos at @puckbunnyphotos
m⭐️💫e @dimooch
152 Followers 615 Following they are trying to take away my constitutional right to post
Kris Wilder @parkerquotes2
214 Followers 513 Following Public relations coordinator, recovering reporter, mom of two amazing human beings, reader, writer, math hater.
Olivia (she/her) @thedigitalyenta
9K Followers 6K Following CEO + Co-founder, Fresh Starts Registry. 2x Founder. Single mom. Changing the world one brave decision at a time. Everyone is worthy of support. We got you.
Bookgrrl @Book_grrl_esque
61 Followers 64 Following Trying to understand the world one book at a time...if you don't get that, bite me-no, seriously, I kinda like that thing.
Redkat5000 @Redkat5000
105 Followers 454 Following
em!! 🇵🇸 @realemilyattack
5K Followers 918 Following em's microblog. account monitored by em's chiweenie
chode (pokemon champi.. @ChodeoClown
303 Followers 491 Following USDA Choice Beefcake | officially sponsored @nike athlete
Matt @clamsjog
894 Followers 760 Following when a clam is slightly slower than a run but faster than a walk. https://t.co/qdIUx46iNR
Matt @sucittaM
27K Followers 1K Following I was on Twitter before it sucked and the time before it sucked when it sucked more.
Matt G @_DrunkCanuck
537 Followers 2K Following Revolutionary class drunk. Socialist. loves to kiss @riget he him
Emperor Matty @sinnersorry
214 Followers 2K Following drunk and exhausted and critically acclaimed and respected
Chief Matt Officer�.. @Heroneman
209 Followers 343 Following he/him, IDK where the meme ends and the man begins. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review - @hollabackrogue, prof pic by @alacarter
chris gaines @ownsabicycle
306 Followers 502 Following my footwear choices are good everyone is saying this
Emperor Matt @MattKornacki
36 Followers 174 Following
The Edgar Suit @mjap58
593 Followers 1K Following Like Austin Powers, except domesticated and with a booze weasel on my back. I pee outdoors.
Party Waffle @PartyWaffle
928 Followers 479 Following I'm pretty awesome until you get to know me. https://t.co/Mu5hmdVDuP
insert food here @SustainableApe
35 Followers 92 Following locavore, I’ll only grow it if I can ingest it
Sam @333666bbb
6K Followers 6K Following A quiet man with the loudest fucking mind. 2nd account @3366bb
Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilarious
Ron @rwilliams8778
3K Followers 2K Following The woods are lovely, dark, and deep. But I have promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep. ~Robert Frost~ NO MINORS 🔞
. @gameoverneuroty
2K Followers 2K Following
Bird Eckler @Birdeckler
2K Followers 3K Following Morsels of joy, mixed with sprinkles of outrage. Results may vary.
“Nice Guy” Eddie @BedlamAndBones
250 Followers 117 Following Vague self-description. Generic platitude. Deepak Chopra quote. https://t.co/ZOUr6vS97N
ScottW @jswtreeman
972 Followers 188 Following Florida Man. Overeducated Southerner. I’m taller than you. Married to @ahwilliams5
Eric in the 21.24th C.. @ejt___
8K Followers 4K Following Retweets are endorsements that the joke was funny. https://t.co/HmMfC14tzI
🏳️🌈 Jen �.. @jenneedsasmoke
126 Followers 78 Following A safe place for wanton silliness. #Pride #Ally https://t.co/pDQ9Iusy5Z
Jennifer Parker @Mrs_JParker
904 Followers 648 Following Making two tiny humans laugh one fart joke at a time.
The Tanya @tanya_the11313
375 Followers 904 Following I'm here to let my disgust with the universe fester.
Duchess Anna of Banan.. @duchess_banana
24K Followers 5K Following Food, sports, and filth. Distributing the finest word vomit since 2019. @VancityReynolds liked one of my tweets once.
Me,Myself & I @Rolltide_mn
7K Followers 6K Following https://t.co/j8T0ysDc71 Minnesota. Look away if you don't understand Sarcasm, and appreciate big Noses.
Micheal Maybe @MichealElliott
1K Followers 995 Following Ordained Beach Bum with stage 4 pancreatic cancer, living the dream with my wife, our revolutionary 7 yr old daughter + a clingy Dalmatian.
Stone Cold Jane Auste.. @AbbyHiggs
11K Followers 4K Following Feral essayist. Genderclear. They/Thembo. Professor: @MorganStateU Words: @MarieClaire_sa @Guardian @The_Rumpus @VICE🖖
Jennifer Wright @Lexley816
515 Followers 4K Following One of the most cowardly things ordinary people do is shut their eyes to the facts. -C.S. Lewis
Arfeld @Arfeld
867 Followers 4K Following
Omg my mom gave her dog puppy-CBD to help with nerves and sent me these pics after his first dose 😭😭😭
@GraniteDhuine @Marlebean I like; sounds like a problem for the chaplain.
Her corn shell flared delicately as she curtsied. She was the taco belle. Everyone at the fiesta loved her.
Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad”
Might fuck around and reply "that sounds like a you problem" to every work email today.
Forget girl math, "girl gas" is when I hand the guy my credit card and don't look so gas is free
You can keep your money I got some hot babes with new accounts liking my tweets left and right
Let it go, let it go.... Cant hold it back anymore.... - My internal dialogue when I have to fart on the bus.
Its so fuckin cold right now I'm afraid to even fart. I'm not letting ANY warmth out at the moment.
22 yrs old: falls down stairs on way to work. gets up and is fine. 42 yrs old: sleeps on the wrong pillow, neck hurts for 3 weeks.
[dumping jar of pennies in front of the IRS] How much not jail can I get with this many moneys?
Don’t think of it as a bad childhood. Think of it as mitigating circumstances.
Maintenance, Scheduled Maintenance.
Well, I suppose an apology is in order. I mean, I'm not going to provide one, I just wanted you to know I was aware it would be appropriate
Every single 70s soft rock music producer: "it's nothing some flute and Micheal McDonald in the background can't fix"
"Get me some ice cream, I gave blood today" Him: "You can't say that every month!" {Clutches ovaries} "GASP"
Some guy messaged me 👉👌 I think he's confused about how rock, paper, scissors works...
Inflation is even affecting children My kid asked what I would buy with a trillion dollars! A Trillion! That question was a million when I was his age!
Trends for United States
23,9 B posts
46,5 B posts
3.514 posts
1,06 Mn posts
21,7 B posts
20,9 B posts
34,7 B posts
11,1 B posts
11,7 B posts
9.359 posts
7.600 posts
15,4 B posts
16,9 B posts
10,7 B posts
33,8 B posts
You might like
sixfootcandy
@sixfootcandy
50K Followers
Suds
@stacywawa1
18K Followers
kanye’s bhole
@bossy_bootz
42K Followers
Stabbatha Christy
@LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers
🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪ�..
@3sunzzz
31K Followers
Boyd's Backyard™
@TheBoydP
102K Followers
SHANtilly Lace
@theshantilly
31K Followers
Darla
@ddsmidt
38K Followers
L(assitude)
@lmwortho
15K Followers
Felicia
@LostFelicia
42K Followers
Her Tall Boots
@fuzzlime
36K Followers
Gran Master E.
@E_lok44
26K Followers
ThisOneSays
@ThisOneSayz
19K Followers
Lovely Potatoes
@robin_991
21K Followers
Envy
@envydatropic
90K Followers