Dear Diary @MyShitFamily_

Just found and killed three cockroaches in my kitchen and I’m freaking out!!! I immediately deep cleaned my kitchen but I’m freaking out and am going to ask for my landlord to send pest control.

I feel guilty for still thinking about my ex all the time while being in a new relationship but I can’t help it. How am I supposed to just forget 9 years of my life and the life I thought I was going to have? I know it’s not healthy but it’s hard to move on

Found out from my friend that my ex wants to take his new girl to the vaisakhi parade this weekend. In the 9 years we dated he only took me once. Idk why I’m annoyed but it really pissed me off.

Took a sick day from work cause I still feel like trash but am kinda regretting it because no one covers my desk while I’m away and now I’ll have more work to catch up on 🫠

Finally saw my bf for the first time in 5 days yesterday and had plans to go out today but I got sick with a stomach bug in the middle of the night and have been puking and shitting all day. He let me stay at his place to recover but I’m finally home and still sick 🤢

“If I can love the wrong person that much, imagine how much I can love the right person”

Feeling depressed and alone and all I want is to be comforted by my ex. What is wrong with me that even a year after no contact and being in a new relationship myself, he’s still the only one I want. Wish I could break free from these feelings but I’m also terrified to let go

“I guess it isn’t fair to blame you. I kept pouring myself into your palms even as I watched all that I was leak through your fingers”

Supposed to see my boyfriend today and honestly I’m not excited or looking forward to it. I also kinda hate calling him my boyfriend. Idk what’s wrong with me.

My brother in law has always been creepy and inappropriate towards me and my friends but I’ve never said anything to my sister about it. I found out he recently tried to add my friends, yes plural, on Snapchat. He’s never met them!! Also, why does a grown man need Snapchat?!?

My therapist had to reschedule and now I won’t see her until Tuesday. I know I’ll be over these feelings by then but it will still be helpful to talk things through

Booked myself an emergency therapy session tomorrow afternoon. I’m feeling off and don’t know how to handle these complex emotions on my own.

I cried and had a panic attack last night. I don’t know where these feelings are coming from or why they are so strong but I need to figure it out Hopefully today is a better day.

I’m really struggling with some complex emotions around my new relationship. I feel sad, confused, worried and trapped. I know there’s no reason to have these feelings but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to feeling them.

He asked me to be his girlfriend yesterday 🥰. After 9 years in 1 relationship, it feels a little weird saying I have a bf who isn’t my ex. Almost doesn’t feel real

Meeting his friends tonight and I’m a little nervous. Hoping it all goes well! 🤞

The anxiety, shame and cringe are setting in from my blackout this weekend. I can’t remember anything and as much as my new man is reassuring me that nothing bad happened, I can’t help but overthink 🥴

My ex didn’t show up last night and I had a great time with my friends and my new man. Accidentally blacked out and am so hungover today but not complaining ☺️

The thought of having to see my ex with his new girl again is making me anxious. What’s making my anxiety worse is having to show up with a new partner of my own. Tbh, I’m still not over my ex or what he did to me and I’m worried I’ll do or say something I shouldn’t

So my new man is coming with me to my bffs birthday party tomorrow and I’m a little nervous about introducing him to the other important people in my life. It’s also a little awkward because my ex will be there and I feel like that’s a lot to take in at one time😬