Reuben Glaser @Reubnick
Midwestern 'humorist' and 'satirist." Used to co-host JOAK PARK. Formerly of @TheAVClub. Created Little Face Mitt. Welcome to my Twitter page! reubenglaser.com Chicago Joined December 2007-
Tweets26K
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Followers931
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Following2K
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Likes3K
Putin murdered Navalny. Go ahead and suspend me too, @elonmusk, you fucking dumbass
wow my account has just been blowing up ever since I stopped using this stupid fucking website, why oh why did I ever stop
I reconsidered, BRIEFLY, my decision to stop using this dumbass website and within five minutes I found myself about to reply to a tweet from Snookie about the existence of aliens and remembered all over again why I don't want to spend any time on here anymore.
Threads is bullshit too for that matter. The internet isn’t fun anymore. Whatever.
16 years ago I signed up for and have ever since posted on a fun and cool website called Twitter and not something that looks and sounds like a 14 year old’s mock-up website for their programming class with a name that sounds like a porn site with popup ads you can’t close.
Life has basically just been shit ever since Google Image Search images stopped automatically loading in full resolution. Everything's just gotten worse and worse since then. It's 2023 and when I google a picture of certain type of beetle it's pixelly. Unbelievable.
Does everybody remember that there was a time just a few years ago when people still thought this guy was smart and trustworthy enough to pioneer "neural lace" technology that would involve literally placing physical chips inside our brains?
Does everybody remember that there was a time just a few years ago when people still thought this guy was smart and trustworthy enough to pioneer "neural lace" technology that would involve literally placing physical chips inside our brains?
Hi! 😃 Elon here! Just writing to say that Reuben will no longer be “contributing” to our platform as a result of this daft tweet. Let’s just say…this “Reuben sandwich” has been sent back to the kitchen! 🤣🤣🤣
Hi! 😃 Elon here! Just writing to say that Reuben will no longer be “contributing” to our platform as a result of this daft tweet. Let’s just say…this “Reuben sandwich” has been sent back to the kitchen! 🤣🤣🤣
As an established INFLUENCER, let me be the first to say that I cannot wait to parlay my anemic Instagram following into an anemic follower base on Threads™️ that will rival my anemic following on Twitter.
An angry guy at the store, unprovoked, yelled “GET OUT OF MY WAY!” at me. I said “excuse me, pal” and his follow-up was “DON’T make noise when I tell you to get out of my way.” It was the worst follow-up since the sequel to The Mask.
This is my new favorite picture from the Obama years
This is going too far. I still don't know who this man even is.
"Bird? Hello, bird." - Polite interaction just heard from my window
This is the least interesting news I have ever heard.
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Команда Нав.. @teamnavalny
219K Followers 276 Following Россия будет свободной и счастливой ❤️🩹 Поддержите нашу работу! https://t.co/5Qwb2X33zm
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820K Followers 469 Following 第101代内閣総理大臣。第27代自民党総裁。 いま日本は大きな岐路に立っています。世界のリーダーと共に平和と世界秩序、価値観を守るために結束し、新しい資本主義で日本を成長軌道へと乗せ、さらなる賃上げを実現する。一人ひとり寄り添い新しい未来を切り拓く。 著書『岸田ビジョン』(講談社) ／『核兵器のない世界へ』(日経BP)
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6K Followers 132 Following 🎄Under My Xmas Tree EP🎄https://t.co/LKQ5QnKOIiВ том, что у нас нет места для гражданской панихиды и прощания с Алексеем, виноваты два человека - Владимир Путин и Сергей Собянин. Люди в Кремле его убили, потом издевались над телом Алексея, потом издевались над его матерью, теперь издеваются над его памятью. Мы не хотим…
Alexei Navalny courageously exposed the corruption and lies of Putin’s authoritarian regime. Now Putin has killed him for it. The Russian people deserve better. theguardian.com/world/2024/feb…
If parenting is too burdensome, perhaps @ChicagosMayor should have remained a CTU organizer. And if crime, housing, and the budget are so overwhelming, why not concentrate on those issues rather than visit the border? Pay no attention to Johnson. He is just a talker.
I told President Gay not to go to Bakersfield but they didn't listen 😢
Oh no. I was in the audience when Jimmy Fallon talked to Paris Hilton about NFTs and I must have been sitting DIRECTLY beneath the audience mic cuz you can hear me freaking out the whole time
forget jimmy fallon... we all know who the best american talk show host is
LIZZO IS GETTING CANCELLED, USED TO PRAY FOR TIMES LIKE THESE🙏🙏🙏🙏🧎♀️🤲🏽
Opened up my search for jobs in Oregon and the city of Burns is looking for a city manager. To run the city. Guys is this my Schitt's Creek moment or
well I’m going to keep calling it Miller Park
Twitter will officially rebrand as X later today, Elon Musk confirms.
before i die, i want to see an argument between johnny depp and russell brand about who has more scarves
Men invented skateboarding as an excuse to kick it with the homies.
@TheRickWilson She going after RFK Jr. like she went after Bernie Sanders back in 2016...in a totally ruthless and dishonest way. Debbie has no integrity.
Alright, here it is. This is what to do when you've gotten a request for THE CALL (including forms you can use for nudges!) I've done it 3 times, so I think that makes me a veteran? morganforte.com/post/when-you-…
@LUpthegrove @bennyjohnson Republicans don't care about anybody but themselves. They are awful human beings.
@bennyjohnson You stand with Putin then ? Why do you do this ? His Country is being invaded. Where is your compassion???
@bennyjohnson You wouldn't last a day in his shoes. Shame on you.
@costamio79991 @kowboysfromhell @RandomO12804434 @bennyjohnson Because they do what they’re told Child seggs trafficker @mattgaetz serial seggs offender Donald Trump & @RepMTG say Zelenskyy is a pred@tor so …… he’s a predator
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