Kevin @arealweiseguy
Food enthusiast. Problem solver. Subtly charming social media evangelist. Passionate travel fan. Bacon junkie. Prone to fits of overexcitement. United Kingdom Joined August 2021-
Tweets151
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Followers65
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Following62
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Likes70
My toxic trait is that if they opened Jurassic Park I'd still totally go.
Sometimes I wonder if that bitch ever got out of Ludacris’ way.
For me one of the hardest things about being in my thirties is when I have to stop and remember that I’m well into my forties.
The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.
My toxic trait is telling people I'm down for anything when in reality I mean not after 8 pm, food should be involved, and it also depends on the weather, the parking situation, and how tired I am.
Not to brag, but l've already picked out the sweatpants I'll be wearing on New Year's Eve.
I'm trying to stop being mean but it's like y’all have to stop being stupid first
Instead of responding with "living the dream" normalize saying “the horrors persist, but so do I.”
Worst part about not buying snacks so you won't eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a little snack
A plus side to being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas and I won't judge you because I will also be in my pajamas.
September 11 is a day not only to remember, but a day of renewal and resolve for every American — in our devotion to this country, to the principles it embodies, to our democracy. That is what we owe one another. And what we owe future generations of Americans to come.
America needs universal healthcare. This shouldn’t be controversial. Especially with a once in a century pandemic.
It will never make sense to me
"The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed" might be my favourite saying of the week
Why are countries with much higher tax burdens more satisfied than we are? Jon Stewart dives in. #repost #FYC #OutstandingTalkSeries
A haiku about my life: I am so tired Where did all my money go My back is hurting
I’m not aging like a fine wine, I’m aging like milk. Getting sour and chunky.
Weekends as an adult really suck. Friday you work until 5 and you're too tired to do anything. Saturday you want to chill but you have to run errands or be productive. Sunday you're mad all day because it's already almost Monday.
There's no better feeling... or sound 😉 #flipflops #nothingbetter #sound
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Al Franken @alfranken
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President Biden @POTUS
34.8M Followers 5 Following 46th President of the United States, husband to @FLOTUS, proud dad & pop. Tweets may be archived: https://t.co/HDhBZBkKpU Text me: (302) 404-0880
Historic Vids @historyinmemes
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Mark Hamill @MarkHamill
5.1M Followers 2K Following Believe in yourself! Work hard, never give up & anything's possible! OR: Kick back, relax & aim low: You'll never be disappointed...😜 I IGNORE ALL DMs!
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8 Followers 11 Following
The Daily Show @TheDailyShow
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The Problem With Jon .. @TheProblem
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Welcome to Wrexham @WrexhamFX
66K Followers 33 Following Original docuseries following Rob McElhenney and Ryan Reynolds as they navigate running Wrexham Football Club. All episodes streaming on Hulu.
Trevor Noah @Trevornoah
11.8M Followers 515 Following Comedian from South Africa. I was in the crowd when Rafiki held Simba over the edge of the cliff, like an African Michael Jackson.
Jameisha Prescod FRSA @JamPrescod
1K Followers 1K Following Artist-Filmmaker, Producer, Essayist. I explain stuff and sometimes win things. (formerly BBC News)
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Saturday Night Live -.. @nbcsnl
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Fat Hippo @fathippofood
12K Followers 676 Following Independent burger restaurants across the UK 🍔 Best burgers for dine in | click + collect | delivery 🦛 Hit up your nearest Hippo 👇
finnian sawyer @finstergrrrl
967 Followers 2K Following writing, weather, trivia, geekery. @shimmerstories badger. poetry in @Screen_Door_R, @jukejointmag. #ToastieTwitter 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ @[email protected]
Sinful Thrills @sinfulthrills
11K Followers 8K Following Whether male or female, straight or gay, and anywhere in between, we have the #SexToys and #SexyLingerie you're looking for. REGISTER FOR 5% OFF EVERY ORDER!
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30K Followers 856 Following Transforming orgasms since 2006. Indulge in your kinks with our range of sex toys, lingerie and bondage. Shop via the link below⬇ Need help? [email protected]
Bernie Sanders @SenSanders
12.2M Followers 2K Following Sen. Sanders of Vermont, Chair of the U.S. Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor & Pensions, is the longest-serving independent in congressional history.
Maximum Effort @MaximumEffort
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Trakt @trakt
37K Followers 72 Following Track. Discover. Share. Trakt for iOS: https://t.co/SMDsmc6x7C Trakt for Android: https://t.co/HFN2bCr1hs Need help? https://t.co/qLdUbGmaCB
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135 Followers 215 Following I love my family, friends, and complete strangers. Also, eating applesauce as an adult is 🎯
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nyotaimori FNP-C @NyotaimoriNurse
3K Followers 2K Following Wife|Mom|Nurse Practitioner|She/Her|MSN|FNP|Equality|Human Rights|History Nerd|Gamer|Opinions are my own #nursing #LQBTQsupporter #medtwitter #resist #bluewave
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Grind | Certified B C.. @grind
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522 Followers 1K Following Award winning custom shoes designed to suit your style. What will your shoes say about you? Free shipping worldwide | Email [email protected]
The New York Times @nytimes
55.2M Followers 878 Following News tips? Share them here: https://t.co/ghL9OoYKMMHe better dick me down AND treat me right. None of this either or nonsense. Ima stay single til I get both.
My statement on the sentencing of Scientologist Danny Masterson: "Sitting in court today with the women who survived Danny Masterson's predation was a surreal experience. Over the past seven decades, former Scientologists have sadly become used to Scientology using its…
I awarded the Medal of Honor to a pilot who – 55 years ago – risked his life to save a group of soldiers. He refused to leave behind any American. And because of that, he rewrote the fate of four families for generations to come. Congratulations, Captain Larry L. Taylor.
👏🏼👏🏼 good. Fuck this guy.
LOS ANGELES (AP) — Los Angeles judge sentences ‘That ’70s Show’ actor Danny Masterson to 30 years to life in prison for rapes of 2 women.
Wishin errbody a #blessed week ... where your cafecito runs endlessly in your choice of caffeinated or decaf ☕😊
@katienotopoulos Granted I am 1000 years old, but I’m still trying to figure out why she is “shook to the core” over this information. Did she think female musicians were not allowed to perform in public before 2023?
@katienotopoulos Might as well apply for my AARP card if this is the vibe
Our prayers are with the people of Hawai'i and the families who have lost loved ones. @POTUS has ordered all available Federal assets on the Islands to help with our response, and we will continue to deliver communities the resources they need.
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Wishin errrrbody a fantastic day !! #keepgoing
Have you orgasmed today? If not, why not? Touch yourself.👉🫴 Do it now. 🥰
NEW: CA has officially introduced a US Constitutional Amendment to end the gun violence epidemic in this nation. The American people want action. Congress has refused. It’s up to states to step in. The Right to Safety will enshrine 4 gun safety freedoms: 1) Raising the age to…
Why are countries with much higher tax burdens more satisfied than we are? Jon Stewart dives in. #repost #FYC #OutstandingTalkSeries
Sharing some behind the scenes stories from @bazluhrmann 's iconic Romeo & Juliet !! 🗣to @gq
On behalf of Canada… Go f🇨🇦ck yourself.
New York has the worst air quality in history due to wild fires from Climate Cult Canada.
There's no better feeling... or sound 😉 #flipflops #nothingbetter #sound
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