Bess Kalb @bessbell
Writer and producer of TV and movie and books and children. besskalb.substack.com Joined April 2009-
Tweets19K
-
Followers308K
-
Following1K
-
Likes51K
Brand new picture books for my library! Can I just say that Buffalo Fluffalo by @bessbell had me laughing out loud!!!
I miss this website there are so many dumb jokes I think about saying to you but i don't. Do you still see this? Am I shouting into a void?
The human mind cannot comprehend number of people who turned down this hosting gig.
Eek!!!! So excited to pick up these new releases from @AndersonsBkshp today! @devpetty @MikeBoldt @AmeDyckman @eliopictures @bessbell
Northeast readers, listen up! 👂 Author @bessbell is going on tour for her new picture book, BUFFALO FLUFFALO, and you're invited! Mark your calendar and join us for the first storytime event at @booksaremagicbk in Brooklyn this Saturday: bit.ly/Fluffalo-Story…
COMING ON HERE TO SAY MY BOOK IS OUT TODAY! Read it before Moms for Liberty bans it for teaching empathy and kindness to children! (also it rhymes) penguinrandomhouse.com/books/706809/b…
It’s the holiday season & the perfect time to share a sneak peek into the funfilled, heartwarming & charming story, BUFFALO FLUFFALO! A darling #picturebook coming out in January 2024 that you & your kids are sure to love! Full of silly rhymes & lovable characters, BUFFALO…
The world is hell but instead of "thankfully," my four-year-old kid says "phewfully," as in "I fell down but phewfully it didn't hurt."
I hope you've enjoyed my tweets over the years! If you would like to read my jokes and ideas I am on Instagram at bessbellkalb and substack at besskalb.substack.com
Just found out that @bessbell has a children’s book coming out and I don’t even have kids but I can’t wait to read it…to my dog I guess. She likes books. You can preorder it here: penguinrandomhouse.com/books/706809/b…
Well, we gave it a try, but it looks like a handful of notes app screenshots on social media didn’t solve the current global crisis! We will try again next time!!!
Just a reminder that the best way to support your favorite authors is to buy/read their books. But also, where’s the Lorrie Moore hat already?
The Volatile Mermaid @OhNoSheTwitnt
372K Followers 1K Following ~*Jewish-American Disney Princess*~ @HarlanCoben once compared me to a whiskey sour without the whiskey.Lucy Huber @clhubes
80K Followers 2K Following editor @mcsweeneys Mother of: 👦🏼👶🏼🐈⬛🐈🐠🐌 Writer? Hungry. Tired.Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman
200K Followers 4K Following Year round iced coffee drinker. Stand-up special "People Pleaser" out now. Previously: Last Week Tonight, Mrs. Maisel, Head Writer/EP Desus & Mero.Erin "Skeleton Factor.. @morninggloria
223K Followers 3K Following eringloriaryan on the other, better socialsEmily Nussbaum @emilynussbaum
277K Followers 2K Following Staff writer at The New Yorker. Author of “Cue The Sun!: The Invention of Reality TV,” out 6/25. Insta/Threads/Bluesky: emilynussbaumKashana @kashanacauley
110K Followers 400 Following tv writer. deadly with a butter knife. author of the novel THE SURVIVALISTS 👉🏾 https://t.co/Ui1cbWVzUeLaurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
106K Followers 6K Following Comedian / Emmy-Nominated & WGA Award-Winning Writer / Seen on After Midnight, Conan, Corden / NYT Best Selling Author / "Cis Woke Grief Sl*t" out now.Geraldine Just Follow.. @everywhereist
120K Followers 610 Following Writer. Feminist. Snack-enthusiast. James Beard Award-winning weirdo. Author, IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT (March 2024). She/Her.Alexandra Petri @petridishes
175K Followers 1K Following Blogs & columns for @WashingtonPost. No pun is beneath me. AP’s US HISTORY out 4/11! https://t.co/stq1FbzRa8Eden Dranger @Eden_Eats
91K Followers 639 Following Sorry I don’t have the “NUDES" in my bio you were looking for (I write TV shows and movies).Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit
91K Followers 3K Following Writer for hire, formerly of @insidejob, @FallonTonight, and one time for an aftershow about sharksKaren Chee @karencheee
111K Followers 1K Following comedian & writer! @LateNightSeth @waitwait etc etc 👩🏻💻 she/hersrachel syme @rachsyme
142K Followers 9K Following woman about town. staff writer @newyorker. also: writing a book for @aaknopf + a coffee table book for @penguinrandom. away from here, mostly.Emily Favreau @emilyfavreau
92K Followers 2K Following mom to human baby, Charlie and goldendoodle baby, Leo. tweets are mostly puppies and politics.Maris Kreizman @mariskreizman
81K Followers 5K Following I run The Maris Review! author of I Want To Burn This Place Down, 2025 or so from @eccobooksCaissie @Caissie
68K Followers 7K Following TV Jokes! FORMER Letterman/Rosie/BWE w/@pftompkins/Watch What Happens Live! w/@Andy Cohen, Busy Tonight! YA novelist, author @debenham's girl. She/herTaffy Brodesser-Akner @taffyakner
92K Followers 4K Following Taylor Swift bureau chief of the New York Times. Call with tips: 719-266-2837andi zeisler @andizeisler
82K Followers 7K Following Writer, editor, @BitchMedia cofounder, speaker, author, WE WERE FEMINISTS ONCE. I look like your cousin's friend or your friend's cousin. I love your dog.Jena Friedman @JenaFriedman
65K Followers 693 Following Stand Up, Borat 2 writer, Daily Show alum, Late Show alum, creator of Soft Focus on Adult Swim and Indefensible on AMC Plus. Don’t quote me 🤡Charles Parshall @ParshallCh21494
254 Followers 1K Following Recovering from a #Steoke and Broken Thigh Porn Videos of Woman Spanked Wearing Electric Dog Collars Hogtied Vibe to make the time go by🇺🇲Lalitha Iyer @lalliyer
11 Followers 129 FollowingSuma4720 @Suma4720
6K Followers 7K Following GOP, White Supremacists, Libertarians,White Nationalists, Christian Nationalists share the same #Ideology of RACISM TREASON & SEDITION. #TraitorsSupportTrumpxexe @XeXe420
30 Followers 72 FollowingAireka Muse @AMuseWrites
529 Followers 638 Following wga screenwriter & CD copywriter (ex twitter 🫡💙) in co dependent relationship with my laptop. mom + wife.Jen Pearson Design @jenpearsondsgn
359 Followers 512 Following Industrial Designer, Patent Designer ▼ Jen Pearson Design (JPD), founded in 2009, is an industrial design studio located in San FranciscoPhoenix @phoenix_735
35 Followers 927 Following System Integrator|Manager Projects|Satire|Husband|Father|work for Peace and Justice for all | anti fascist | RT is not endorsement| NO abuse plsSlejao @salka76
56 Followers 2K FollowingBrie Kelly @kelly_brie1492
3 Followers 108 FollowingCaleb DN @CalebDN17
2 Followers 14 FollowingLyn Marsh PhD @LynMarshPhD
12K Followers 12K Following Future Vision Consultant, Writer. PhD Psychol.Grethe Meland @MelandGret44051
68 Followers 1K FollowingMaria_US_ @MariaUS257884
3 Followers 445 Following I swear in the name of God, don't miss an opportunity to earn 500-5000usdc every day. https://t.co/P8wBdS2Qp6Raneesh Kp @Raneeshkp123
0 Followers 22 Followingلامك (المس س.. @Frjh67581L
4 Followers 6K Followingまみこ@ファイ�.. @TG7rYy206jgMhJP
2K Followers 7K Following Freelance nurse🩺⚠️🏥Next Bitcoin potential??💦巨大IT投資‼️Web3『IPFS』🌟Filecoin🌟Insta✝️☦️✝️yumamama77・_2🇯🇵🌈🇯🇵IPFS事務局/株式会社インタープラネタリーhttps://t.co/x984xtZdm6Louisse_Clark @louisse_clark
28 Followers 145 FollowingElon Reeve MuskX @EMuskx35645
253 Followers 3K Following Who controls the memes, controls the universe - Elon Musk Parody Account MemesRawlings Nti Jerry @NtiRawlings
50 Followers 1K FollowingAbe L @softknow
669 Followers 2K Following Love Chatbot Training, Bookkeeping & SEO. Lifelong Republican that knows Trump is the Biggest Con Man in history. Don't respect today's GOP - Independent now.AngieHuang @AngieHuang123
70 Followers 1K FollowingAdam Bouska @bouska
829K Followers 466K Following Fashion Photographer & NOH8 Campaign Co-Founder ★★★★★ [email protected]Lisa Woolford @lisawho28
507 Followers 2K Following National Entertainment Writer. Mum of two. Lover of good books, TV, movies, musicals & laughing. Hater of sultanas & dried fruit ... Fruchocs the exception.State_Speak @X_plorerr
22 Followers 123 FollowingYour Realtor Friend, .. @myRealtorNathan
120 Followers 2K Following Baltimore Lover/ Currently Your Favorite Realtor in Baltimore Metropolitan Area/ Previously New Drugs Developer at Johns Hopkins MedicineRose Malone @malone14253
0 Followers 34 Followingemburke 💙 🇺🇦 @ElliottMBurke1
613 Followers 5K Following “Resist much, Obey little.” I write. I invent. If you profess to be Christian on your account and you don't live or behave by the spirit, I will call you out.The Librarian @thelegalpad2
12 Followers 3K Following Proverbs 1:7 KJV The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.Csilla @CsillaMezei
2K Followers 818 Following Helping you find clarity and build resilience | Entrepreneur | Creator |🛩️ Pilot | Mia Real Estate | Let's sparkle 💫 | https://t.co/AGdInykiPpUncle Frankie 🍕 @FrankiesofBR
583 Followers 2K Following Best Pizza, Meatballs, & Calzones in Brooklyn ❤️🍕🤠 Love talking #pizza #nft #crypto #mets 🖼️ Soon $Pizza 💰Marc Fernandes @_marcfernandes_
24 Followers 2K Following Energy Trader. Papa. Hubby. Bringing Balance to The Force.Stephen Mackintosh @StephenMackint3
6 Followers 7 FollowingAngela Ladyzhensky @perpetuallypink
0 Followers 9 Followingmichael ilifu @IlifuMicha23063
43 Followers 262 FollowingMr.Hotel @MrHotells
7K Followers 6K Following Welcome to @Mrhotells Club | #hotel | #travel | #tourism | DM for collab | partner: @tanerlerconst_Roscoe J. Peterman @rjpeterman
37 Followers 166 FollowingTordue Isaiah @TordueIsaiah
20 Followers 118 FollowingJordan Stewart @Jordan_Stewart9
671 Followers 436 Following Giving yourself a cliff with no retreat is giving yourself a chance to charge towards the high ground of life.TribeBright @TribeBrightapp
50 Followers 263 Following TribeBright is the leading children's emotional wellness app. We offer evidence-based tools, activities & resources to help kids learn coping skills & thrive.Patrick Deborah @AtamataJas80628
210 Followers 1K Following Set monthly goals. Small? Big? Simple? Doesn’t matter. Write them downSteve Castellion @ScubaSteve3468
94 Followers 131 FollowingThe Volatile Mermaid @OhNoSheTwitnt
372K Followers 1K Following ~*Jewish-American Disney Princess*~ @HarlanCoben once compared me to a whiskey sour without the whiskey.Lucy Huber @clhubes
80K Followers 2K Following editor @mcsweeneys Mother of: 👦🏼👶🏼🐈⬛🐈🐠🐌 Writer? Hungry. Tired.Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman
200K Followers 4K Following Year round iced coffee drinker. Stand-up special "People Pleaser" out now. Previously: Last Week Tonight, Mrs. Maisel, Head Writer/EP Desus & Mero.Erin "Skeleton Factor.. @morninggloria
223K Followers 3K Following eringloriaryan on the other, better socialsEmily Nussbaum @emilynussbaum
277K Followers 2K Following Staff writer at The New Yorker. Author of “Cue The Sun!: The Invention of Reality TV,” out 6/25. Insta/Threads/Bluesky: emilynussbaumKashana @kashanacauley
110K Followers 400 Following tv writer. deadly with a butter knife. author of the novel THE SURVIVALISTS 👉🏾 https://t.co/Ui1cbWVzUeLaurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
106K Followers 6K Following Comedian / Emmy-Nominated & WGA Award-Winning Writer / Seen on After Midnight, Conan, Corden / NYT Best Selling Author / "Cis Woke Grief Sl*t" out now.Geraldine Just Follow.. @everywhereist
120K Followers 610 Following Writer. Feminist. Snack-enthusiast. James Beard Award-winning weirdo. Author, IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT (March 2024). She/Her.Alexandra Petri @petridishes
175K Followers 1K Following Blogs & columns for @WashingtonPost. No pun is beneath me. AP’s US HISTORY out 4/11! https://t.co/stq1FbzRa8Eden Dranger @Eden_Eats
91K Followers 639 Following Sorry I don’t have the “NUDES" in my bio you were looking for (I write TV shows and movies).Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit
91K Followers 3K Following Writer for hire, formerly of @insidejob, @FallonTonight, and one time for an aftershow about sharksKaren Chee @karencheee
111K Followers 1K Following comedian & writer! @LateNightSeth @waitwait etc etc 👩🏻💻 she/hersrachel syme @rachsyme
142K Followers 9K Following woman about town. staff writer @newyorker. also: writing a book for @aaknopf + a coffee table book for @penguinrandom. away from here, mostly.Maris Kreizman @mariskreizman
81K Followers 5K Following I run The Maris Review! author of I Want To Burn This Place Down, 2025 or so from @eccobooksCaissie @Caissie
68K Followers 7K Following TV Jokes! FORMER Letterman/Rosie/BWE w/@pftompkins/Watch What Happens Live! w/@Andy Cohen, Busy Tonight! YA novelist, author @debenham's girl. She/herTaffy Brodesser-Akner @taffyakner
92K Followers 4K Following Taylor Swift bureau chief of the New York Times. Call with tips: 719-266-2837andi zeisler @andizeisler
82K Followers 7K Following Writer, editor, @BitchMedia cofounder, speaker, author, WE WERE FEMINISTS ONCE. I look like your cousin's friend or your friend's cousin. I love your dog.Jena Friedman @JenaFriedman
65K Followers 693 Following Stand Up, Borat 2 writer, Daily Show alum, Late Show alum, creator of Soft Focus on Adult Swim and Indefensible on AMC Plus. Don’t quote me 🤡Ariel Dumas @ArielDumas
70K Followers 8K Following IG: @ arieldumaspubicaccount - Head Writer and Supervising Producer for @colbertlateshowNational Book Foundat.. @nationalbook
401K Followers 2K Following National Book Foundation, presenter of the National Book Awards. Dedicated to the celebration of the best literature in America. #NBAwardsMehdi Hasan @mehdirhasan
1.5M Followers 4K Following British-American journalist. Editor-in-chief and CEO of new media company @zeteo_news. Subscribe here: https://t.co/sEC1ETyGtnCarol Lombardini @ItsMeCarolAMPTP
7K Followers 388 Following cat mom. recovering buffy addict. lead negotiator for the AMPTP. parody of a person. contact: [email protected]Random House Children.. @RHCBEducators
5K Followers 2K Following Looking for free resources, hear from authors, and get news on upcoming events? Join our newsletter: https://t.co/DTCXgPWCIcJenna Johnson @MsJennaJohnson
5K Followers 4K Following EIC @fsgbooks. Joy hunter. Mushroom lover. Fiction tender. Poetry champion. Celebrant of the weird & wonderful. Not a machine. Doing her best. Tweets all mine!Georgia Pritchett @georgiapudding
20K Followers 423 Following Advanced snacker. Occasional writer (Veep, Thick of It, Succession, My Mess is A Bit of a Life, The Shrink Next Door).BEYONCÉ @Beyonce
15.3M Followers 9 FollowingMary H.K. Choi *YOLK .. @choitotheworld
22K Followers 2K Following New York Times Bestselling author of EMERGENCY CONTACT and PERMANENT RECORD 🗽🇰🇷🤘✨ Yolk is out NOW if you want a solid cathartic sob.Vinson Cunningham @vcunningham
20K Followers 3K Following GREAT EXPECTATIONS, my debut novel, out from @hogarthbooks on March 12th, 2024. pre-order below. staff writer and theatre critic, @newyorker.New York Metro Weathe.. @nymetrowx
110K Followers 1K Following NYC weather forecasts without the hype, supported by our own community. Tweets: @jhomenukSean T. Collins is se.. @theseantcollins
21K Followers 654 Following @theseantcollins 2009-2023 "Hard work pays off. Dreams come true. Bad times don't last, but bad guys do."Audra Heinrichs (she/.. @AudraHeinrichs
847 Followers 346 Following culture, entertainment, & odd politics @jezebel 💅🏻 words in: @guardian, @teenvogue, @harpersbazaarus, @rollingstone, @washingtonpost +Hannah Arendt Center .. @Arendt_Center
25K Followers 19K Following An expansive home for thinking about and in the spirit of Arendt. Quotes ≠ Endorsement. Subscribe to our newsletter #AmorMundi.Laura Norkin @inLaurasWords
14K Followers 6K Following Exec. features editor https://t.co/xW9IBDjJ36, mom, friend on here. Prev @InStyle @Refinery29, et al. **SAME NAME ON OTHER APPS**Steve Levitan @SteveLevitan
90K Followers 428 Following Co-Creator of Modern Family, Creator of Just Shoot MeChris Gethard @ChrisGethard
92K Followers 3K Following introvert from the most densely populated part of the countryRaaaatScraps 🐀 (fk.. @RAAAATSCRAPS
9K Followers 718 Following The Best Improv Show in the World. Every Sunday 7:30 PM at @caveatnyc & streamed. w/ performers you’ve seen on your TV and from ASSSSCAT NYCgianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi
63K Followers 7K Following “you miss 100% of the shots you take” -my high school basketball coachjoe posner @joeposner
7K Followers 2K Following building a new thing!! https://t.co/3HvRSrvl4Y previously: vox video / explained co-creator, other things.@realSarahPolley (she.. @realsarahpolley
65K Followers 1K Following My Mom was one of the 30 Helens on Kids In The Hall. She/HerZach Schiffman @schlife
9K Followers 2K Following I’m 5’5 but everyone tells me I seem 5’8 / social @curbed @grubstreet @nymagMcNally Jackson @mcnallyjackson
71K Followers 1K Following Independent Bookseller at 134 Prince Street | 4 Fulton St | 76 North 4th Street | City Point | 1 Rockefeller CenterStephanie Foo, author.. @stephaniefoooo
29K Followers 2K Following C-PTSD survivor, author of NYT Bestseller. Norcal girl. Hypermobile tree friend. Alum: TAL, Snap Judgment. Words: NYT, Vox. Insta: foofoofoo 🇺🇸 🇲🇾Meech @MediumSizeMeech
53K Followers 545 Following Handsome writer. Extremely Humble Xeeter. Subscribe to my Newsletter 𝙉𝙤𝙬 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙈𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙄𝙩! he/him [email protected]Gary Shteyngart @Shteyngart
543K Followers 887 Following Gary Shteyngart is a book writer. https://t.co/RcWJuUo5iGAlex Edelman @AlexEdelman
38K Followers 2K Following Comedian. JUST FOR US on @HBO on April 6. 🎟️s for LA in link.Chris Rovzar @Rovzar
9K Followers 2K Following Editor of Bloomberg Pursuits. Covering food, travel, cars, real estate, style, philanthropy, culture, and personal submersibles. Views here are my own.Ben Collins @oneunderscore__
421K Followers 9K Following ۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗۗSenior reporter, investigations, @NBCNews. "The most dangerous person in media."—Glenn GreenwaldAshley Reese @offbeatorbit
71K Followers 3K Following Writer. Widow. Hates mint chocolate. Got the girlies pressed. #fuckcancer.Gwydion Suilebhan �.. @GwydionS
5K Followers 1K Following Writer. Executive Director, @penfaulkner. Project Director, @NewPlayX. He/him. Opinions my own.Dylan Park-Pettiford @dyllyp
57K Followers 1K Following Writer. Director. Habitual Line-Stepper. TV: Bosch. All Rise. 68 Whiskey. Books: Roadside. Occasional Magic. How To Tell A Story. Marvel Comics. Reps: CAA, RainFrank Conniff @FrankConniff
76K Followers 6K Following Writer, Comedian, TV's Frank | Author of 10 Books https://t.co/3XczIQUw45kristofer thomas @kristoferthomas
91K Followers 590 Following comic, tv/screenwriter, idiot. mgmt: brillstein #WritersGuildOnStrike #WGAStrongAda Calhoun @adacalhoun
5K Followers 848 Following 📚 NYT-bestselling author #StMarksIsDead ☠️ #WhyWeCantSleep 🎢 #WeddingToastsIllNeverGive 🍾 #AlsoaPoet 🗄️ #Crush ❤️ coming in 2025 📚chase @_chase_____
12K Followers 1K Following girl writer | associate editor @reductress | writing in @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys | https://t.co/ywCjXok4HX | she/herSarah Pappalardo @yourpappalardo
13K Followers 2K Following Editor, Co-founder of @reductress. they/themZephyr Teachout @ZephyrTeachout
130K Followers 24K Following Fordham Law Prof Kids, country, health, clean water, fairness, freedom. Books: Corruption in America, Break ‘em Up. Current project: History of the Future.Ashley C. Ford @iSmashFizzle
233K Followers 2K Following Author of Somebody’s Daughter: A Memoir. Pod host. Starting over. Email [email protected] for work related inquiries ✌🏾Dr./Prof. Sarah Hörs.. @PlanetDr
63K Followers 928 Following Associate Prof of PlanetSci @JohnsHopkins and Titan evangelist. I'm planetdr some other places too. she/her https://t.co/rMewX5tmh3Dylan Reeve @DylanReeve
15K Followers 2K Following I write stuff and make TV and film. On #TheTraitorsNZ. Wrote FAKE BELIEVE. Made TICKLED (@TickledMovie). He/Him. [email protected]💥People lift up bags of flour at Tel Aviv rally to protest escalating hunger and killing in Gaza and to call for the return of all the hostages & a ceasefire now. @AlonLeeGreen
In which I call out bad accents and gender essentialism... I am a huge fan of audiobooks, which is why I care. lithub.com/can-we-please-…
as should have michael! you're dating a 20 year old who is quitting college for you!!!! leave her alone psycho!!!
I rewatched My Best Friend’s Wedding last night and ummmm… Julia Robert’s character should have gone to jail!
Teen girls slipping into the tradwife hole & renouncing education is sad bc there's a period between when you're 16 and 21 where the trajectory of your life under capitalism is set and there's a small window of opportunities you won't get again.
The word you're looking for is "children"
BREAKING: Health officials say more than 12,300 Palestinian minors have been killed in Israel's war on Hamas in Gaza apnews.com/article/israel…
@AP Children. I’m seeing babies on my screen.
You weirdos don’t deserve Tina Fey being funny accurate & hilarious
There should be a special stealth podcast where you pay up, sign an NDA & then get to hear Tina Fey’s secret bitchy opinions of all culture
How many people were involved in the deciding whether Taylor would dance to Olivia or not.
Country musicians love to tell you they are from somewhere
Annie Lennox singing Sinéad O'Connor huge win for gay guys who know who won best supporting actress in 1973.
Whenever a parent makes a post about their picky kid there is ALWAYS someone who comments “We did Baby Led Weaning with my kid, it’s so easy, you just feed them what you’re eating. My baby eats everything. She’s 11 months old.” and you just want to be like “aw, honey.”
🔔OPERATION SCHOOL BELL volunteer Connie Dietz shows book provided to Buckner Elementary School students on Kansas Day. There was also face time with author @bessbell & illustrator Erin Kraan! #AuthorsinSchools
How do you celebrate Kansas Day? With a book about the state animal, of course! The @BucknerStars were happy to read, Buffalo Fluffalo, and have a visit with @bessbell (author) & Erin Kraan (illustrator). Thanks to @Watermarkbooks for getting a copy to every student! #WPSProud
Sorry but.... Ariana DeBose did THE THING with this killer #Emmys look.