bobby @bobby
the goat of all time. i'm on the computer Joined December 2008-
Tweets93K
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Followers80K
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Following580
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Likes105K
damn it’s crazy to have the power to create a human life and experience the wonder of the world through their eyes, a separate soul tethered to you for a moment then released to the vastness of their own existence. and to just be like. But i wont have as much time for nintendo 😞
hiring a very senior UI-focused engineer you accept react you hate stutters, rerenders, layout jitter and slowness more than anything in the world. you need revenge nyc or remote. great comp and team building a social app from the future DM or email stuff to dom at sup xyz
today my child has achieved her dream of being alive in the world for one full year and has received a promotion from Baby to Toddler. she likes the grocery store and dancing and she shoots 93% from the foul line. she is a monkey so i made her a banana cake.
(Repairing wrecked boat village boy approaches with picture from my pack) Bahu bah? {Monster} Me: No bahu bah. Marmaduke…Buha bet {Friend} Boy: Mar-ma-duke…Your? Me: Not mine. Everybodys. {confused look} he is…like Wind. Everyones Boy {grinning} Marmaduke is like Wind
(context: i have a mustache.) we ate dinner at a pizzeria and when i sat down the toddler at the table next to us stared at me for a second then leaned over to his mom and whispered loud as fuck “IS THAT MARIO.”
told the guy at mcdonald’s i had mobile order “victor bravo 6-7” and he laughed at me. sorry for being tactical in the drive thru.
accidentally booked a no pets hotel so this is how we have to smuggle mose in and out. merry christmas.
beat it pipsqueak
Happy #OpeningDay & let’s go @Mets!!
(pressing my face really hard against a wall during an argument with my wife) I want some candy so bad right now
it’s been about 9 months since i became a father and in that time i’ve come to the conclusion that Daughters are superior to Sons. there are a bunch of reasons for this but the main one is that men should not be children.
pasta actually makes perfect sense as a breakfast food if you think about it. lil bowl of breakfast pasta. throw some sausage in there, some cheese. whatever you want. it’s pasta for breakfast.
what if you were at the thrift store and you saw a pair of jeans you liked but you looked at the tag and it was the chipotle logo and it said “chipotle clothing co.” ?
little doofus keeps putting his ball in front of the baby and then looking at me like What Is Wrong With This One. Why Does She Not Throw.
we gave out almost a thousand pieces of candy tonight. the baby was a monkey, and the wife, dog, and i were bananas. halloween is easily the best holiday, we should do it twice a year.
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Comedian Asks A Crazy Question Then Goes Crazy At Da End!
There should be an app for dudes who just want to play catch. Nothing serious. No commitment. Just like, idk. Let’s go toss a ball around.
Me checking the screenshot of the nice thing I made at work today for the tenth time
@bobby not true, I was mostly sad about not going out to dinner any more.
@itmeolliev @ImNotOwned @sopadepanda321 @danlehnermusic If your reading comprehension is so bad that you can't recognise what OP was saying, do you not think there is a chance your comprehension is similarly bad when it comes to McCain?
During bedtime tonight kid repeated "we have to go quickly before the Easter bunny gets here" at least 20 time in 10 minutes. Like talking to the same JRPG villager over and over again
That sucks your wife is mad at you dude. You should get her some kind of glass bear, like a beautiful little crystal bear for her desk. What do you think about my bear idea?
Started watching Shogun and Néstor Carbonell showing up in the back end of the ep as a Spanish sailor had me doing laps around the room.
People trying to argue against this being a key problem are driving me nuts
if you wanna know why an old movie looks good and a new movie looks bad check out the number of shoot days
The genius patrol
Also need to thank @blankcheckpod because their (great) The Hunt for the Red October ep is 2:16:57, and I saved listening to it for today knowing that if I could just finish before the pod was wrapping up, I’d be ok.
Decided for some reason to run my first half marathon at 35. I’m not fast, but just wanted to finish at 2:15:00 and managed to finish in 2:08:32. Feeling good.
whenever a film cuts to a shot like this i usually lean forward a little bit
don’t want to be ungenerous but i sometimes feel like everyone on here is campaigning for a Good Person Award
walking back from dinner at the bar. son punched me and said he’s going to punch me every day for the rest of my life. and on the day i die it will be his punch that kills me
non soda drinkers are so funny nooo i don't want the perfect beverage 😭😭
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