Chrisanna4real @chrisanna4real
My life will make you laugh. I fucking love beer & @the_martinigirl keeps me sane. twitter.com/search?q=from%… Hood River, OR Joined March 2011-
Tweets35K
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Followers31K
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Following10K
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Likes152K
Anyone else buy Christmas cards that say "HO HO HO" because your twelve years old and it's funny?
My legs around your waist counts as a hug, right?
19: mom am I adopted Me: fuck no, we didn't get you on purpose
I am not really into you. I am all over you.
I want to live before I die.
My grandfather fought so that I could be free to dip a donut in this glass of wine.
I just learned about thirst traps. In my day, that meant dollar beer night. Fuckin love my days.
I keep SpongeBob Band-Aids in my purse just in case I hurt someone's feelings.
I might never own a home but if I manage to live in a few good hearts it will be a life well lived.
Have you ever thought that the reason you're single is your blowjobs do not cover the cost of your crazy?
Your membership card from the red flag factory arrived today! We should probably marry.
My generation didn’t go through low-rise and button fly jeans to end up having the jeans our mothers used to wear come back in style.
My ex-husband sent me a random text today. Perplexed, I went through my files and let him know he's on the "no re-hire" list.
Me, trying to fit in with friends, who are new parents, “Wow, your baby does very good babying!”
A breakfast bottle of Coca-Cola is the true Kombucha to any night of debauchery and degeneracy.
Someone added me to a list called “Used to be Funny.” I’m spinning this into something positive like, “Hey, I’m on a list!”
I ran into my former wives today. It was a true exes-tential crisis.
I respect people who have a dream like, "I'm going to be a doctor because I want to help people" just as much as I respect people who are like, "Fuck it, I guess wholesale carpeting is what I do?"
You haven't seen ugly until you've seen my 'about to sneeze' face.
Asking your grandparents for their WI-FI password and they dig out a piece of paper and hand it to you like 1gZwri73ogs.mf5!o01.
Tony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K FollowingBöb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.Tipsy Angel Smoo🤍�.. @blonde_opinion
124K Followers 6K Following happily married, fuk awf, I don’t want to be your friend and yes he is ok with the pictures I share here,but also fuk offTrey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1XVerifried Drunk™®�.. @VerifiedDrunk
28K Followers 2K Following The later the tweet, the drunker I am. it/that/drunk💗 Mashed Potato Dr.. @sheseemslegit
86K Followers 20K Following Probably at a Walgreens. enfj. books, cats, vintage.Claire Behind The Hai.. @urmumsausername
44K Followers 6K Following PayPal➡https://t.co/Kf0eVciHmW tweets➡ https://t.co/EJvcH671EQPieGuy @ilovepie84
30K Followers 6K Following My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbKThe Ciscokidder @TheCiscoKidder
36K Followers 13K Following 99% jokes, 100% Stay home dad, atheist, BLM, feminist, pro LGBTQ+ and left af. https://t.co/HpCbHaktUaIvsy @Ivsy01
40K Followers 9K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2kJRGin @GinRumMe
21K Followers 11K Following Eat Sleep RockN’Roll. Still from Twitter. Recents: https://t.co/znpZjkqqT3 (Favorites next link).Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct〰 Just Linda 〰 @LindaInDisguise
12K Followers 4K Following Installing a dating app when you're lonely is like going grocery shopping when you're hungry. Either way, you have cake and regret ahead of you.Alfie @DownFrontArtist
54K Followers 48K Following There is no show without business. https://t.co/X2EN341vnkPugnado 🐾🌪 @LuvPug
75K Followers 16K Following writer of dumb tweets, founder of the @LuvPugFDN for homeless & disabled animals 🐾 🐾🐾Instagram: -luvpugpetcare -harrywaddlebottom -luvpugfoundationLisabug @Lisabug74
20K Followers 9K Following Welcome to Lisa World! | Love food | Enjoy puns | Cake addict | Cat Mom |DMs are closed, but replies are welcomed.January James-Riggs @JanuaryJames
19K Followers 2K Following Not interested. Sometimes I'm funny. Armed and dangerous. I have an affection for tall dead guys. @JohnnyRiggs9 is buried in my backyard.Grey Zire @GreyZire
866 Followers 5K Following I Write, Sing, Play Guitar, Bass, Keyboards, And A Little Clarinet, I Do Music Production, Cook, Im Vegan, A Comedian, And Im At: https://t.co/ZkwCvyNVue9vjr420342pbca @rlcsgtf0unr9v3
0 Followers 235 Followingannadawnjacobs @leeannejacobs
55 Followers 223 Following socially awkward and almost always offensiveLil Miss Snarkey Pant.. @Ris622
3K Followers 5K Following It doesn't matter how much antibacterial soap you use - the shame doesn't scrub off. Lawyer by trade, Batman when summoned.Abhinav Sharma @AbhinAviSharma
251 Followers 2K Following 'Set your heart upon your work, but never on its outcome. Work not for an outcome; but never cease to do your work'….. 'Let noble thoughts come from all sides'PeaceInTruth2 @PeaceInTruth1X
66 Followers 126 Following Yeah you know me. Owned by my dog. #ChiefsKingdomMichael @minealone6
4K Followers 4K Following Likes -Pizza, Chili, Nachos, pumping Iron, a good cigar, a bad cigar, Traveling, Cats, Candy -specially Snickers, old Popeye cartoons, cookies and milk, hotdogsJo @joasoo512
0 Followers 2K FollowingDenny - Believe Fearl.. @Soirbh62
2K Followers 3K Following My motivation is to be a comfort and an encouragment. Friendship only. 18+ please. https://t.co/oo9kowp8f5 #diedsuddenly #stoptheshots #ExitTheWHOCrankyPappy @CrankyPappy
191K Followers 173K Following We huddle together & tweet for courage in the dark • Those who know do not tweet. Those who tweet do not know. • Tweet less, feel better.⛱️ ෴𖦹 𝒊�.. @iZsaaq
301 Followers 5K Following I post what I like or whatever is funny. Be kind to animals & respect others. 🚫 No Crypto = BLOCK ⛔️ Make the world smile.Miss Chloe @MissxChloe1
6 Followers 51 Following 6' tall, curvy, wife who likes keeping it sexy, dirty, kinky, smart and authentic, now sharing more than ever! Wait till you see this peach 🍑ThatGuyAgain @NotUniqueAgain
325 Followers 432 Following I think I confirmed to be back at the shit show again. Yes, 💯 a terrible flirt.Jace of Fuse! @JaceFuse
1K Followers 1K Following My tweets may be corny, esoteric, or stupid. I have lucid dreams. Sometimes I create things. Wannabe Game Maker. I’m not funny but I crack me up. FNORDMr.&Mrs.Wild😈 @brankopia
1K Followers 4K Following Hi.. thanks for folowing us and enjoying our content. If u wanna stay in touch with us , talk with us, request videos, see more content 🌶علوش علاوي @lwslwy4
172 Followers 4K FollowingCarlos Ángeles castr.. @Carlosngelesca1
185 Followers 5K FollowingJust a girl @dammit_amy
22K Followers 5K Following I do important legal-ish stuff all day. Freelance smut narrator. Just here for the beer and hot wings.Charlie @Mr_Carlioux
11 Followers 256 FollowingRon @Emanon74
11 Followers 67 FollowingMichael Montoya @Michael03646633
421 Followers 4K Followingnorthern geckos @Northerngeckos
75 Followers 360 Following base in all types of reptiles and amphibians and pet products all availableJD Collins @JDRichards0322
69K Followers 70K Following 🌊#Limit2TermsCongressSenateUSA🌊#RemoveLobbyist🌊#Equality🌊#Healthcare4All💖#WomenTotalControlOfTheirBodies📢#ConvictJan6thThugsWithTreason🙏#BlackLivesMatterAngelo Belotti @AngeloBelotti6
332 Followers 5K FollowingCalico Q-T*pie @CalicoQtPie69
67 Followers 1K Following enjoys knowing what please people.. down to earth, open minded kinda gal....Mahantesh Burli @MahanteshBurli
388 Followers 5K FollowingComedy Guys @ComedyGuys
3K Followers 4K Following We retweet funny stuff. And occasionally mention our classes.TheHerbGrinder @GrindTheHerb
5K Followers 5K Following Insurance agent helping people working in the cannabis industry.Wes W @CaptFacetious
9K Followers 9K Following Atelophobe. Meliorist. I have more issues than National Geographic. My family found me on Facebook, so I'm on Twitter now. Retweets are better than Likes.Cecilia Boshego @CBoshego
27 Followers 170 FollowingSpirit World Hero �.. @Spiritworldhero
703 Followers 996 Following storytelling,healing,art, magick. ♏️♋️♒️Saces Davidis @saces_d
235 Followers 2K Followingrick @RickHeinzman3
831 Followers 2K Following if you have to dress like a escort high on drugs to get someone's attention do not follow meBH paints and bio dig.. @BH_paints_bio
123 Followers 437 Following BH PAINTS AND BIO DIGESTER LTD, the only company which is good in installing bio digester and painting houses in all design so let's shine together.John Higgenbotham @JohnHiggenboth3
360 Followers 3K FollowingDavid Baker @DavidBaker1959
676 Followers 5K Following Slightly manic 62 year old who reckons he’s got life in him yet. Seen a bit. Done a bit. But plenty more to see n doChris Ellis @jce202020
176 Followers 575 FollowingTony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K FollowingBöb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.Trey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1XVerifried Drunk™®�.. @VerifiedDrunk
28K Followers 2K Following The later the tweet, the drunker I am. it/that/drunk💗 Mashed Potato Dr.. @sheseemslegit
86K Followers 20K Following Probably at a Walgreens. enfj. books, cats, vintage.Claire Behind The Hai.. @urmumsausername
44K Followers 6K Following PayPal➡https://t.co/Kf0eVciHmW tweets➡ https://t.co/EJvcH671EQPieGuy @ilovepie84
30K Followers 6K Following My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbKThe Ciscokidder @TheCiscoKidder
36K Followers 13K Following 99% jokes, 100% Stay home dad, atheist, BLM, feminist, pro LGBTQ+ and left af. https://t.co/HpCbHaktUaIvsy @Ivsy01
40K Followers 9K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2kCraving @calluptome
15K Followers 5K Following wifey @JaymianaJones & I have seen it all used to travel now wants to hide ❤️horror films https://t.co/j1tRiOtekKScott Linnen @ScottLinnen
17K Followers 2K Following Hamburger Helper. Because a severed hand told me to.JRGin @GinRumMe
21K Followers 11K Following Eat Sleep RockN’Roll. Still from Twitter. Recents: https://t.co/znpZjkqqT3 (Favorites next link).Henry 3000 @Henry_3000
31K Followers 12K Following Bad but not evil. I asked @JacCarly and she said, YES. 💍〰 Just Linda 〰 @LindaInDisguise
12K Followers 4K Following Installing a dating app when you're lonely is like going grocery shopping when you're hungry. Either way, you have cake and regret ahead of you.Alfie @DownFrontArtist
54K Followers 48K Following There is no show without business. https://t.co/X2EN341vnkPugnado 🐾🌪 @LuvPug
75K Followers 16K Following writer of dumb tweets, founder of the @LuvPugFDN for homeless & disabled animals 🐾 🐾🐾Instagram: -luvpugpetcare -harrywaddlebottom -luvpugfoundationLisabug @Lisabug74
20K Followers 9K Following Welcome to Lisa World! | Love food | Enjoy puns | Cake addict | Cat Mom |DMs are closed, but replies are welcomed.Call of Ktulu @CallofKtulu3
3K Followers 5K Following Just an average Knucklehead that loves the USA, fishing, grilling/cooking, my wife and sons. My God, My Country and the Green Bay Packers - RIP Coach Tito⛷brenton griguol �.. @BrentonGriguol
615 Followers 945 Following Skier, F1 & F5000 historic driver, Radical Australia Cup. Born in Adelaide, cultivated in Thredbo Village, insta @brentongriguolChris @joemarine8
412 Followers 5 Followinggeeky_goddess @creja34
55K Followers 10K Following I ❤️ ASL, kindness, love 🤟🏻, 🎶, 😺🐱, ☕, 🌮, 🍉, 🍰 #MentalHealth #Fibromyalgia #GAD #SSGG #Pluviophile 🌧️ #WomenLove💃🏻 #SelfLove 👩🏻Ramesh kumar Ramesh k.. @Rameshk83943370
78 Followers 259 Following Ramesh kumar Tosham made cabal ToshamCatherine @6_speedmomma
5K Followers 2K Following Pittie mom 🐶 Renegade ⭐️ Sunshine and flip flops have my ❤️ https://t.co/uzA1kZVOom¸„.-•~¹°”ˆ�.. @AuthorRKK
13K Followers 7K Following Erotic Romance author, Poet Alt: @AuthorRKK_ Wordy & nerdy Unapologetically quirky Amazon: https://t.co/0yAV61gvSH *Be easy to love & hard to know*𝑀𝒾𝒸𝓀 @mickru79
22K Followers 13K Following Find what you’re living for, go against the odds, enjoy every moment…Hannible Lecterh @HannibleLecterh
260 Followers 908 Following Old Norse Paganism is my religion politically some where between conservative and independent my Sense of humor Is often questioned by people who don’t have 1!Non Of Yo Business @LilBlackAss4Sho
507 Followers 5K Following Growing and learning everyday that I wake up to a new chance to and for change.🅿🅸🆇🅸🅴 @PixieRainbow23
8K Followers 6K Following If I want to be someone's, I'll always want to be yours ♥️Aj @T62Alan
3K Followers 5K Following I hate Biden and Democrats I love America and people with common sense and intelligence.SpunkyDame @DameSpunky
8K Followers 7K Following✨Crash Unhinged💫 @Crashonomics
4K Followers 5K Following Twitter's Most Overlooked Sweetheart. Lover of music, pretty eyes, thick thighs and pumpkinsGinger Snapped ❤ @katy_fit
34K Followers 15K Following Martha Stewart & Erin Andrews Trapped in Anna Nicole's Body.Sherry @MsRedWriting
17K Followers 17K Following Life experienced, people passionate, world weary, writer, eccentric, hater of injustice and in need of a good makeover :-)It's ya boy BLUE! @MantisBlue
5K Followers 2K Following At least my Mom and the cashier at the Liquor Store think I'm funny. 🤣🏳️🌈💙 Avi by @ra7ar & Banner by @linkindrinkinVíkrám @gvicks
44K Followers 28K Following Embracing the Future with a Treasure Trove of Timeless Tales. #Ibanker ; https://t.co/1lNZeb2Zyz💯ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕫�.. @Crazy_ButCute2
248K Followers 14K Following I lift things up and put them down. I love food. I look good naked. link in bio 💁🏼♀️ SLE/Fibro warrior! Every day stronger 💪🏻❤️💯Sherry @SunnySicilian
481 Followers 477 FollowingLILY❤️🌷❤️ @lucasloveslily
3K Followers 4K Following 🇺🇸God BlessAmerica🇺🇸This account is about loving each other, animals, nature and peace. My grandchildren are my life. Please get vaccinated & wear a mask.❤️🔥𝕊𝕚.. @MyFadedRainbow
21K Followers 5K Following Chaos, panic & disorder – my work here is done. OF creator. Message me for the link 😘Eva Rudner @EGRudner
2K Followers 4K Following Fellow human :) I tweet & retweet random human thoughts. I like Humor, Politics, Pets & Common Sense. (NO DMs, please.)ρꪮꪮ𝓳ꪖ 🌸 @YourSomeone11
49K Followers 3K Following I lost my identity, I found myself. 📸 Mine https://t.co/djB5pKALgpHaydiesque @haydiesque
533 Followers 959 Following Average girl // Movie buff • Series binger • Books worm • Pro gamer • Food lover • Cat mom • Music addict • Stargazer • Socially Awkward •serenitynow @serenitynow8822
2K Followers 5K Following Justice, truth and duty. No time for those who demand otherwise. I Love Dogs, they kinda like me. Political centrist, no time for RWNJs!ↁᎯᨆ⫯ᕍ✊�.. @Davidnolastname
20K Followers 18K Following I got a rock. Stands with 🏳️🌈. ❌🧀❌. All MAGA mouth breathers blocked starting…now! Woke AF. 🟦Eric Ashton Rice @EricAshtonRice2
471 Followers 4K Following my friends say I look like a metal head Ron Weasley. I've got a dark mind, but I'm nicer than you think.Daddy Go Fish @daddygofish
8K Followers 3K Following Warning: alcohol leads to kids leads to lots more alcohol.Jim Landry @J_A_Landry
913 Followers 1K Following “I can’t get around and I can’t get away. I need a miracle everyday.” Bob WeirMᴀʏᴀ @MayaIsLoading
2K Followers 430 Following Welcome to my mind, you can sit among the other voices. https://t.co/yAFeA11emfJules @julcasagrande
78K Followers 7K Following Q ⚔️ energy. coffee cups and thoughts https://t.co/V349QaXUGVMichael Mastro @GMMASTRO1
1K Followers 4K Following Guitarist / Singer / Songwriter https://t.co/vhCGJEcats🎸Metal Mariachi band @metalachi returns to our stage with El Gordo this Friday, February 24th. #pdx #pdxevents #downtownpdxlivehttps://www.danteslive.com/event/12614095/metalachi-with-el-gordo/
🔥Soundcontrol PDX presents Doom Metal band STYGIAN BOUGH with Mizmor and Simple Forms this Saturday, February 25th. #pdx #pdxevents #downtownpdxlive danteslive.com/event/12895585…
🎶Join singer songwriter John Anaya for a pre @SinfernoCabaret show this Sunday, February 26th. #pdx #pdxevents #downtownpdxlive danteslive.com
Dangerous winter driving conditions in many areas around #MtHood and in the #ColumbiaRiverGorge w/ #I84 closed from #Troutdale to #TheDalles. Please avoid travel and visit TripCheck.com to see road cameras and find the latest road and weather conditions. #orwx #pdxtst
Marked under the category of "But wait, there's more..." or alternatively, "Remember it's winter in Oregon, be ready for anything." #ORwx #PDXtst #BeWinterReady #KnowBeforeYouGo
The Marys River near Philomath, Oregon (near Corvallis) is now forecast to rise above major flood stage this afternoon. Several roads in the area will be affected. Don't drive into flooded areas. #orwx #wawx #flood #Philomath #Corvallis
@chrisanna4real I always get so excited when I see this face!
19: mom am I adopted Me: fuck no, we didn't get you on purpose
My grandfather fought so that I could be free to dip a donut in this glass of wine.
Twitter to kill Fleets feature, its competitor to Facebook Stories cnb.cx/2VDfZdP It was a fleeting moment
I keep SpongeBob Band-Aids in my purse just in case I hurt someone's feelings.
❤️🧡💚💙💜❤️🧡💚💙💜❤️ I just love all you beautiful people of the Twitter ❤️🧡💚💙💜❤️🧡💚💙💜❤️
I might never own a home but if I manage to live in a few good hearts it will be a life well lived.
She said those six words you never want to hear : I need you to start cleaning
When y’all gain a shitload of weight in a short time period, why y’all don’t delete them smaller pics off your IG, like y’all do your old boyfriends lol. #ImJustWondering
Probably just buy more craft supplies
If you had to pay zero taxes like Jeff Bezos, what would you do with the extra money?
Have you ever thought that the reason you're single is your blowjobs do not cover the cost of your crazy?
I’ve reached the age of no birthday presents needed. If I need it, I have it. If I want it, I’ll buy it. If I want it and can’t afford it, most likely you can’t either.
Drinking a Texas Haze Peach by @RevolverBrewing @ Lockhart Smoke House — untp.beer/s/c1051155162