Abbi Crutchfield @curlycomedy
Hulu, Comedy Central, truTV, NBC, CBS • I joke a lot. • Mastadon: https://t.co/UymYo2qVSc • Bluesky: https://t.co/sRjqLg32ly instagram.com/curlycomedy New York, NY Joined December 2008-
Tweets84K
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Followers48K
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Following5K
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Likes256K
No cuticle oil company has figured out how to make it with melted butter so I can immediately eat shrimp worry-free. Do I have to think of everything??
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I'm having the kind of cramps that make me think women should be paid more than men.
Has cauliflower tried to sneak into desserts yet?
Abbi Crutchfield retweeted
lol this was most days in our monologue meetings. You can see why I’ve been almost clinically depressed since the show went off the air.
lol this was most days in our monologue meetings. You can see why I’ve been almost clinically depressed since the show went off the air.
Abbi Crutchfield retweeted
My episode of @GhostsCBS airs tomorrow, April 11th! Alberta (played by the brilliant @bodycourage) hits it off with a poltergeist (@LamorneMorris), who is attached to a new Woodstone Mansion guest (@ImGeoffreyOwens). Watch on @CBS and @paramountplus!
I am loving this show! Way to go Aaron and team!
I am loving this show! Way to go Aaron and team!
My dogs didn’t feel the earthquake because they have constant gas.
Brooklyn just had a mini earthquake. Or I made a particularly impactful breakfast.
I know it’s Spring when the lining of my winter coat sticks to my moisturized arms.
Abbi Crutchfield retweeted
Was listening to classic rock and my son asked me to turn off the “truck commercial music”
Abbi Crutchfield retweeted
Yo' momma's so stupid she thinks someone else being trans negatively impacts her in some way.
If my dog had a catchphrase it would be, “I came as soon as I heard! What do you need me to eat??”
It’s okay to call it T.J. Marshalls. They’re the same store.
Abbi Crutchfield retweeted
Here is the interaction:
Alpha Male (real) @SortaBad
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kehander @kehander
179 Followers 2K Following i am very afraid and do not know enough about the subject to give an informed response. why, why are you reading this. All fleeting is glory. Memento Tweeti.
Üsame Gelir @__GelirUsame
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oazhpayukdgflhr5 @24ghjsfebk4xc
0 Followers 346 Following If you want to make friends, you can contact me anytime TG：https://t.co/iCWUUtWZoB WS：https://t.co/IGR3DWIGiQ
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Ryan Greeson @rwgreeson
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Jim Elliott @Jimpetuous
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Rob Penty @robpenty
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Barbi 🍧 @pradabarbi4132
36 Followers 2K Following Post-Op Trans girl 🏳️⚧️ princess with a twist follow my main account @pradabarbix
Hillary ❤️ @hilats6423582
30 Followers 2K Following trans girl 🏳️⚧️ i’m not active here, follow @hillary_ts
JT Foxx @official_JTfoxx
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Barbi 🍬 @adea_ts3753208
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Dennis J. Wilson @DennisJamesWil4
370 Followers 5K Following Dad/husband/bee keeper/retired USAF, love my family/friends & my Red Sox/Bruins/Celtics/Redskins & Minor League baseball. GO UCONN/GO AIR FORCE FALCONS/VCU Rams
vumphre @vumphre
88 Followers 5K Following
Nuns on a Mission �.. @NunsOnAMission
408 Followers 431 Following 👉🏿Watch our AI Nun standup comedy 😇🎤 https://t.co/60O2KpEyMU 💙 Be a Crusader 👑 Collect our NFTs to support our Mission to spread laughter 😆 #nfts #ai
Missy 💃 @Missy_jrv78345
53 Followers 3K Following trans girl 🏳️⚧️ private account 🤗 follow my main @transmissy
Rsquare @rekkyOmo
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Alpha Male (real) @SortaBad
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Ꮍᴀᴇʟ @elle91
25K Followers 340 Following Writer, animal foster person, 69 inches tall. If you let me write for your thing, I'll kiss you right on the head. Venmo/yael91, IG/the.yael
lauren ashley bishop @sbellelauren
53K Followers 2K Following comedy writer. comedy performer. mother of all dogs. AR native. my brain is @deeppawghts on IG tiktok: @sbellelauren
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
donni saphire @donni
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Viktor Winetrout @Cpin42
26K Followers 652 Following Creator of @Sorrowscopes & @WeirdCelebTwets https://t.co/fJ5BJjLtIb
fredesque @FredTaming
27K Followers 890 Following black & trans lives matter | stop asian hate | 🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️ friendly | he/him | fka taming fr*d s*vage |
sweatpants cher🔸 @House_Feminist
32K Followers 632 Following • unverified account • orca sympathizer • she/her • 🔴 alt @thot_feminist
Ted Travelstead @trumpetcake
50K Followers 5K Following I'm not everyone's cup of teeth. https://t.co/97Pa1xYSHh
jo @whatsJo
48K Followers 957 Following b-side. I eat popsicles for breakfast. Trial ft error. 🤖rights. crusha bit, lil bit✨
Adrenalin @adrenalindenver
26K Followers 816 Following Local pop punk band in Denver. DM for booking info! Guitar/vocals: @Woody_B_ Bass: @dave_cactus Drums: Ripcord Lead Guitar: Duncan
Sean O’Connor @seanoconnz
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audrey farnsworth @audipenny
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Alison Leiby @AlisonLeiby
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bornmiserable.bsky.so.. @bornmiserable
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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @TheToddWilliams
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BeccaInBaltimore @BeccaInBalt
2K Followers 5K Following I love the housewives & true crime shows & podcasts - @keithandthegirl @watchwhatcrappens @conversationstreet @mrjuliegoldman @theBrandyHoward #DumbGayPolitics
Quite Unusual Pod @quiteunusualpod
739 Followers 238 Following Celebrating the Strange & Keeping it Unusual 👽👻 Hosted by @nic_launi & @elleexistential @rodemics is our sugar daddy
DM me cat pictures @malkatz
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27K Followers 1K Following Est. 2016. Romance focused independent brick-and-mortar bookstore. Owned by sisters Bea + Leah Koch. Culver City, CA. Brooklyn location now open!
it's megan @ourmotleycrew
4K Followers 2K Following Turning what if's into oh well's daily. Just doin' the best I can. When I feel like it. | #OpEleanor
Mane 'n Tail @ManenTail
6K Followers 1K Following 52 years strong, Mane ’n Tail continues stocking your shower (and your barn) with high quality hair care products. Official besties with Fail Army! 🎉
ANAÏS NINJA @michikoconuts
8K Followers 2K Following MORE PERSNICKETY THAN EVER https://t.co/9tHvo7JT1X
Exit Row For The Tall @ExitRow4TheTall
3K Followers 3K Following Airlines should give exit row seats to tall passengers at no additional charge instead of taking advantage of our height for profit. #ExitRowForTheTall
Jake Plunkett @JakePlunkett
8K Followers 979 Following Producer/Director. my mom calls them cute little skits even when I beg her not too
(((Jew))) @JoshMalina
298K Followers 3K Following Hi. I ruined The West Wing. he/him https://t.co/amtBSPrYdF
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JokePit Your Comedy E.. @PromoteComedy
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260K Followers 388 Following Satire, songs & the same eyebrows as this guy 👉🏽🥸 MGMT: [email protected]
Jordon Ferber @JordonFerber
267 Followers 320 Following Jordon Ferber is a funny person. He doesn't say funny things on here often enough, but when he does its very special. You're welcome Twitter-verse.
Ben Boven @benboven1
3K Followers 2K Following I write romantic comedies and apocalypse stories featuring the tiny house lifestyle. If that sounds cool, you're weird and I want to meet you.
Young, Gifted and Abr.. @ygabroad
127 Followers 1K Following "Perspectives on studying abroad from past and present students of color." Pod by Danielle G. #younggiftedandabroad #ygabroad
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90 Followers 491 Following Astronomer. Writer. The Universe's short term memory. One of the few people to have seen his own Venus shadow.
I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids
20K Followers 1K Following freelance writer | content creator | someone once told me I was funny, for a mom | featured on BuzzFeed, Today Parents, HuffPost & more | Read my tweets👇
Michael Dineen @michaeldineen58
5K Followers 5K Following Author of Suburban Gangsters/ Former Trainer to professional athletes @Chiefs / Long time practitioner of Martial Arts/ Edward Van Halen is KING/ NYC born
Chef Reactions @ChefReactions
321K Followers 579 Following Extra Salty | Side of Sarcasm *BS allergy* that annoying, monotone chef from TikTok
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2K Followers 678 Following emmy nominated blasian vo director, music gremlin 🎶 lifelinked to @joedewitter
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16K Followers 2K Following Bios are hard. On Instagram as katiedeal99 https://t.co/iMruSPyTav
Erica Spates @EtotheRica321
1K Followers 607 Following she/her Writer, creator, producer, and basic bitch. Check out The Healing Powers of Dude on Netflix!
seynique @seynique
11K Followers 1K Following comedian. writer. podcaster. | she/her co-host of @everybodywspod & @wediefirstpod seyniquesmythecomedy @ https://t.co/NqCyCotNYi
That Gives Me Anxiety.. @GivesanxietyPod
764 Followers 2K Following Podcast by Patrick Jones @patrick_e_jones about the things that scare us and how to deal @purespectrumcbd promo code AnxietyPod for 15% off!
Shame Spiral Podcast @podshamespiral
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Dr. Nicki Washington @dr_nickiw
10K Followers 3K Following drnickiw on bsky. social and IG | Director @identityInCS | #JCSU Alum | #CS PhD | 💓💚 | I am Nina and Roberta, the one you love but ain't heard of.-Rapsody
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610 Followers 388 Following comedian seen on Conan and Comedy Central. previously: digital writer at Full Frontal with Samantha Bee.
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475 Followers 2K Following Not Bedelia. Progressive Dem. BLM! Protect & Support Trans Kids and Adults. Tax The Rich. She/Her
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See Mia Roll to Threa.. @SeeMiaRoll
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Abbie VanSickle @AbbieVanSickle
4K Followers 4K Following Supreme Court correspondent @nytimes. Alum: @MarshallProj, @UCBerkeleyIRP, @TB_Times. 2021 Pulitzer. Reach me at [email protected].
Yuri Lamasbella @yurilamasbella
1K Followers 32 Following Fashion Lover. Beauty Obsessed. 👻Snapchat: bglady2 🐰Twitter: YuriLamasbella 💙Facebook: YuriLamasbella 🎥 YouTube: Yuri Lamasbella
Leen McBeans ꪜ @LeenMcBeans
13K Followers 7K Following ✨Good intentions, questionable methods✨ Recovering academic. Mother of Dad Jokes. A third fun sounding thing. 🏳️🌈
S. Michael Gaddis @smgaddis
17K Followers 3K Following Sr. Research Scientist @NWEA, former Associate Prof @UCLA, #FirstGen. Research: #discrimination #inequality #race #education @audit_studies
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3K Followers 5K Following Actress, writer, producer & Actors Studio Drama School MFA graduate w/gasoline running thru her veins. Latina. Italian.
Maggie Smith @maggiesmithpoet
93K Followers 6K Following Not the dame, the other one. NYT bestselling author of YOU COULD MAKE THIS PLACE BEAUTIFUL & 5 other books. Substack: FOR DEAR LIFE. Booking: @blueflowerarts
Al Yankovic @alyankovic
4.9M Followers 596 Following You know... the weird one. Instagram: alfredyankovic Bluesky: alyankovic Threads: alfredyankovic YouTube: alyankovic Facebook: weirdal TikTok: alyankovic
david ehrlich @davidehrlich
150K Followers 480 Following chief film critic @IndieWire. now the real problems start. he/him.
JessieMonroeNailCare @JMnailcare
19 Followers 99 Following Quick Dry Vegan Nail Polish Black Owned Business
🌐 Clara Rose Thorn.. @ClaraRose
2K Followers 1K Following ✊🏾 Debut book, MOTION SICKNESS; @GreenWritersPub '25 /🎥 Author, documentarist /👩🏽🎓 ALM, @Harvard; Journalism '26 /🍷 WSET Level 2 /🎙CEO, InkBlot Complex
Jarrett Bellini @JarrettBellini
45K Followers 2K Following Writer. Puncher-Upper. Lover of naps, mezcal, and Oxford commas. Self-loathing Tottenham, AZ Cardinals, & Suns fan. TikTok and 🧵 at JarrettBellini 🌵⭕️💀 COYS
honored to be in time out! a place i haven’t frequented since getting in trouble as a toddler timeout.com/newyork/comedy…
@curlycomedy Where are you on ironing underwear? Yes/No
New episode of Dear Chelsea with @Janefonda is out now: iheart.com/podcast/1119-d…
"Despite its gently bummed-out vibe, ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND is a sneakily powerful film. It’s so affecting, in fact, that I get a little sad just thinking about the story and characters." Read @mattzollerseitz on the unforgettable film: rogerebert.com/mzs/why-eterna…
@curlycomedy This kind of life-changing solution is why I’m still on this site.
@AshleyShyMiller She should've been able to have affordable health insurance. Her colon meds should've been affordable and covered. Is this a country or a human labor farm? + horrified how the US plans to spin our preventable deaths.
I see she employed the middle school trick of soaking your project in tea to make it look old-timey
Poems on display at Taylor Swift’s “Tortured Poets Department” Los Angeles library installation.
Happy one year anniversary to the time I tweeted this picture with the caption “These are the vehicles my coworkers drive to our job at a bank” and it made truck guys so mad they figured out which bank I worked at and tried to get me fired 🥳🎉🍾
“How can you expect me to afford a 2nd car to daily drive so I don’t have to use my truck every day when I already have a race car, second house, and a boat? Why do leftists hate us salt of the earth working class folks?”
@slavojtrex @JohnDoe01032135 Am I gonna haul my race car to the track with a Honda Odyssey? Or haul my boat in and out of the launch when we go to our second home? The answer is no.
If I had to guess why they broke up I’m gonna have to say it’s because she cuts her own bangs like a 6-year old would.
She was beautiful, silent, and mysterious…like the d in Bundt cake.
@curlycomedy Women have such mysterious ailments
Game show idea: men are dropped off at an Ulta Beauty store with $500 and have to buy the right makeup for their ladies with no notes or cellphones.
@curlycomedy Or you should be free to randomly punch us in the gut to make up for it. Or both.
@313to253 @liamgareau U gotta have Conan Clearance...
@TimSullivanPSN @liamgareau Seemed like a nice firehouse dog
@liamgareau I had a much different experience. Went up to him to say “Hi.” He wouldn’t talk to me because I didn’t get clearance from Richard Lewis first.
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