I only date celebs (inc. Keanu, Brad, Neeson, Jagger & Prince William), brave US peacekeeping soldiers in Syria or oil rig workers. First book out now 🎉amzn.eu/d/gwgkyzz WarwickshireJoined August 2020
For those of you asking about when I got long-term sex pest Greg to shave his stomach and see a doctor, here is where it all started…
Channel 4 also covered it in a 5 minute doc if you want to see that too 😊
Stranger Sent D**k Pics So I Convinced Him He Was Dying |…
I think we would all agree that good customer service is vital
I’ve therefore been appalled by this wig company who, having looked at my Instagram page and decided I need a wig, messaged me to offer their services
I replied with my requirements and have been met with silence…
When you’ve dreamt of being #1 in the not-at-all-niche ‘Online Safety & Piracy’ chart on Amazon in the US since you were just a girl but the 9th edition of that damn ‘CISSP Certified Information Systems Security Professional Official Study Guide’ pips you to the post
🏴☠️
Right then you lot, I’m speaking at two festivals in May and I’m determined to get some of you buying a ticket or two
I’ll be at the Stratford upon Avon Literary Festival on Thursday 2nd May at 7.30pm @StratLitFeststratfordliteraryfestival.co.uk/events/becky-h…
And the Bath Festival on Friday 24th…
Long-term sex pest Greg has obviously been putting some thought into my previous observations about his small hands
Despite this, he’s clearly still in denial and keeps getting cross with me
All I’m trying to do is help 😞
You’d think Elon Musk would be too busy with everything he’s got going on but he really does take the time to reach out to the little people
He seems a little distracted but it’s hardly surprising
I’m just pleased that he chose me
Thanks @elonmusk@elonmuskAOC
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you…
“Middle-aged woman who didn’t take her glasses off before trying to apply eyeliner and then wondered if she was having a stroke because she didn’t feel it and her vision went patchy in one eye”
🙄
LONG-TERM SEX PEST GREG IS BACK!!
It’s always thrilling to get a message from my on/off internet boyfriend
I’m quite concerned though as he inadvertently divulged a problem which may mean he’s finding even simple tasks difficult
(I’ve made his little fella more respectable…
I decided to give brave peace-keeping soldier Pedro another go in case he turns out to be ‘the one’
We are taking it slowly and just getting to know each other at the moment
It’s really nice that’s he’s interested in my work - I think that’s a good sign
This might be ‘it’ 🤞❤️
Below are five different things available on Amazon to have delivered to your home tomorrow, each with a price tag of £8.95:
1) one pair of acrylic chickens-in-cowboy-boots earrings
2) one (small) inflatable alien
3) seven guitar-shaped teaspoons
4) three pots of slime…
So here’s another thing that pisses me off
You get chatting to a nice lady who tells you that you could be a good match for her brother
So far, so good
You then mention that you’re a single-celled organism and she just drops you
Same old story
You know what? I’m sick and tired of men telling me to calm down
Here’s me thinking I’ve met a lovely peacekeeping soldier but it turns out he’s like all the rest
They just don’t understand…
😡
This chap Michael has been really keen to get to know me, which is obviously lovely
I confessed to him that I am, in fact, the Lord God Almighty and although he seemed confused to begin with I think we’re going to get through it - just as soon as he comes back from the urgent…
I’m excited to say that I’m going to be speaking at The Bath Festival @TheBathFestival on the evening of Friday 24th May
I don’t know anyone in that part of the country that I can drag along so PLEEEEAAASE book tickets and come say hi 🙏
There are some big names appearing so…
It’s World Book Day for goodness sake - what else did you expect me to post? 🤷🏼♀️
And if you want to know why I’m wearing a creepy Greg Davies mask, you’ll have to read it!
amzn.eu/d/iZR1zb2
It’s been another difficult weekend for long-term sex pest Greg and I
First of all he rejects me because I’ve got an eye infection, then starts talking about concrete and then tells me I don’t understand him
I do try my best but I think he’s just a lot cleverer than me
😞
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A proud union member [email protected]
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Business Inquiries: [email protected]
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in Claremorris Ireland. Stay tuned though for my own podcast!
Tweets full of typos!
It/Thing🤣
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