Babies Daddy @dshack8
Husband, father, smart ass, yaddayaddayadda. favstar.fm/users/dshack8/… Hiding from kids Joined February 2012-
Tweets51K
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Followers15K
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Following6K
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Likes93K
Me: I need to look up a recipe real quick. YouTube Algorithm: How about this Alisha Lehmann video? Me: Wait, what? Idk who that is. YT: Soccer player. Me: I don’t even like soccer. YT: Alisha. Lehmann. Me: Oh…I guess I could watch for a little while.
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Dear Elected U.S. Officials, Lock yourselves in a room - all of you. Don’t come out until you find some meaningful solutions (this will involve compromise). If you can’t find solutions, you’ll be relieved of your duties and we’ll find someone else. Sincerely, All Americans
Babies Daddy retweeted
“It’s 9am somewhere” -me having my first sip of water at 2pm
Babies Daddy retweeted
Nice try acid reflux. I won’t be bullied into making better choices
Babies Daddy retweeted
You think you are pretty laid back until you watch your kids decorate a gingerbread house all by themselves.
Babies Daddy retweeted
I think my kids got “Christmas list” and “prayer requests” mixed up.
Was gonna say somethin’ nice about marriage, but I walked in on my wife watching “Young Sheldon” and now I’m not so sure that I want to be married anymore.
Babies Daddy retweeted
an app for driving in the dark and it says horses when you drive past horses
“Save The Date!” Is what is said, but “Make An Excuse!” Is what I read.
Babies Daddy retweeted
Everything I know about opera i learned from Bugs Bunny in drag
Wow, that family that owns the local funeral home sure seems normal. - said no one ever
As I sat there in the dentists chair with the hygienist knuckle deep in my mouth, I couldn’t help but feel thankful that she didn’t view wearing rubber gloves as a violation of her personal freedom.
Babies Daddy retweeted
Maps: turn right in 500ft Me: how far is that Maps: make a u-turn
Babies Daddy retweeted
Dog: I will do anything for you Human: drop the ball Dog: nope
Babies Daddy retweeted
5: I need a pipecleaner me: oddly enough, there is one tied to my door handle 5: I need some string me: in the basement, the room next to dad’s office 5: I need a purple crayon me: under the couch in the toy room also me: where tf is my phone?
Babies Daddy retweeted
Everything fucking magically appears when a woman looks for it.
Sat down on the toilet but forgot my phone so I had to poop while staring at the back of the door like a goddamn cave man.
Babies Daddy retweeted
If my wife and I start a movie after 8PM it automatically becomes a two night event.
Babies Daddy retweeted
That split second when you're sure you are going to die after you lean to far back in your chair.
Simon Holland @simoncholland
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39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
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Grant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
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sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
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FRO VO @fro_vo
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C’est La Vie @Robert_Beau
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Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
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Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix
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Little Greenis @DurtMcHurtt
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Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
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Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4
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Mr. Onederful® @ericonederful
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Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
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karanbir singh 🫶 @karanbirtinna
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Ali @Ali82774577
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Steve Brewer @BrewerRules
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Lydia Botters ▯ @MrLloydBotters
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Mildred Wolf @Wolf_81b9
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[email protected] @Tommyrnsbcglob4
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Charland Swickard @Chuckswickard9
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Diego Perez @winwithdiego
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Jimmy darrell cook j @Jimmydarrellco1
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M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBil.. @MonotoneofBill
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Beth G @Carlinelunatic
82 Followers 302 Following prob in a car line somewhere with a poop urge headed my way
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Sarah @Sarahisanexpat
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Secured Capital Holdi.. @SCHRSF
643 Followers 5K Following #Private #RealEstate #Equity #Repositioning #PrivateEquity #Distressed #Luxury #Principals & #experienced #negotiators. #Asset & #Financial #markets since 1986.
laura @Lranderson17
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💯ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕫�.. @Crazy_ButCute2
248K Followers 14K Following I lift things up and put them down. I love food. I look good naked. link in bio 💁🏼♀️ SLE/Fibro warrior! Every day stronger 💪🏻❤️💯
Alex Hayden Gray @AlexHaydenGray1
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Alana☠️ @LoveHate699
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Listen Up! 英語力 @xoa_axo
2K Followers 2K Following 毎週ちょっとハッピーになる英語ニュース: Voicy English radio personality 🇯🇵🇺🇸 「Listen Up! 英語力」
Brian R. Chapman @brchapman65
8K Followers 7K Following vet USAF🇺🇸, 4th SPS ,a #MAGA #pro-life #WWG1WGA
Magnificent Bastard @irolands1
2K Followers 2K Following Some motherfucker stole my old account.......
Sharon Ann ♉ @sherun_gram
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prabhu nath @prabhun66137845
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Dream @dreampopcandy
9 Followers 5K Following Victims of Sex Traffickers: If you have a chance, try calling 9-1-1, wait, then hang up. Or, National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888
Fezzik @fivetone8
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Cheyanne Clark @IndiPace
67 Followers 116 Following Hell I don’t know, avenge me. You'll appreciate I led with crazy.
Sayp Oht Kawy @Jenna31061328
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Andrea Bridges-Smith @abridgessmith
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Barty @SimonBartington
364 Followers 3K Following Married, Nature, Wildlife, Dogs, Classic cars and Engineering/Tech. No pronouns
Simon Holland @simoncholland
171K Followers 1K Following My wife bought low sodium bacon and now I know what it means when someone says they love you but aren’t IN LOVE with you.
Tony P. @Tbone7219
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Trey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1X
The Ciscokidder @TheCiscoKidder
36K Followers 13K Following 99% jokes, 100% Stay home dad, atheist, BLM, feminist, pro LGBTQ+ and left af. https://t.co/HpCbHaktUa
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
66K Followers 9K Following divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwgu
Grant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
37K Followers 5K Following Anatomically correct. For the most part.
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4
steve suckington @SteveSuckington
29K Followers 726 Following There are things I enjoy. I'm a mediocre wordsmith but a master turdsmith.
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
C’est La Vie @Robert_Beau
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Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Little Greenis @DurtMcHurtt
24K Followers 2K Following https://t.co/HREAfSgLSJ https://t.co/RXZ32W17IY geriatric millennial
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4
116K Followers 6K Following I put my symptoms into WebMD & it turns out I just have kids. https://t.co/m6TcvYNqfm
Mr. Onederful® @ericonederful
25K Followers 17K Following Comedy writer | Featured on @eentertainment, @popsugar, @medium, and more! 🎙️📝
Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
Michigan Clock 〽️ @MichiganClock
11K Followers 385 Following Official daily clock reminder counting how long it has been since THE Ohio State has beaten Michigan #GoBlue
Today Years Old @todayyearsoldig
1.0M Followers 119 Following Your source for the latest trends, discoveries, and most shocking truths & little-known facts about the world. 🚀 DM us your findings!
Lelani Moon @LelaniMoon
4K Followers 1K Following 18+NSFW🌈Pansexual adult web cam model content creator & artist!🦋🌙
Jack Hopkins @thejackhopkins
233K Followers 22K Following Host of The Jack Hopkins Show Podcast. Former Republican #USNavy #Biden2024 #TheJackHopkinsShow 🇮🇱 🏳️🌈
David J. Gautieri @GuruFantasyWrld
30K Followers 2K Following A Top TE Means More Than You Think, Write It On My Tombstone | Sucker 4' Combine Metrics | Dynasty ❤️ | Ageist | Creator of @GuruFFWrld
Darshelle Stevens @Darshelle
1.2M Followers 613 Following Content Creator & Candle Maker || @dar_shelle for 🌶️ content || @ashborneco for candles || @darshelleIRL for extra || https://t.co/CdNTZMoLCM
FantasyPros @FantasyProsNFL
89K Followers 545 Following @FantasyPros Fantasy Football & NFL Coverage. For Baseball, Basketball & Hockey: @FantasyProsMLB | @FantasyProsNBA | @FantasyProsNHL
Kyle Borgognoni @kyle_borg
22K Followers 1K Following Take Jesus at His Word @TheFFBallers Editor-In-Chief, DFS & Dynasty Pod Host, Show Doc(tor) I’ve watched Mighty Ducks a time or two
Anna Akbari, PhD @annaakbari
3K Followers 162 Following Sociologist | Writer | Former NYU/Parsons prof | Karaoke enthusiast Pre-order: There Is No Ethan (June '24). Substack: The Sociology of... Everything
BROOKS @brookscarmean
17K Followers 399 Following Producer “Judge Giamatti” for @TheFFBallers // @mymorningjacket superfan
Jeremy Grantham ('Owl.. @ProducerBorland
14K Followers 81 Following Producer of @TheFFBallers and @SpitballersPod. Child of God. Husband to an amazing wife & a proud father of 1. Co-founder of @BALLRPickleball.
Alyssa Limperis @alyssalimp
163K Followers 1K Following actress & comedian, Sydney on Flatbush Misdemeanors on Showtime, No Bad Days on Peacock insta: https://t.co/EUFIdAFMdt contact: [email protected]
Spitballers Podcast @SpitballersPod
27K Followers 35 Following The Spitballers Podcast is an award winning comedy entertainment podcast from the @TheFFBallers featuring @AndyHolloway, @JasonFFL, and @FFHitman.
runcommutelondon @haloash
162 Followers 785 Following
Michelle Magdziuk @BallBlastEm
32K Followers 2K Following Researcher & Fantasy Analyst @NFL @NFLNetwork. Co-host of the BallBlast #FantasyFootball Podcast & Gold Diggers podcast @GSPodcasts #49ers. Let’s go Steelers!
Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal
136K Followers 2K Following Welcome to parenthood. Yes, it's possible to have the worst day of your life before 6:00 AM. https://t.co/jv3VQ5CW4O
Pit Liquor @PitLiquor
1K Followers 102 Following Natural doesn’t mean weak. 💪 Try the strong + sustainable deodorant that’s 100% natural and 100% guaranteed.
Dr.WearYourFnMask° @PissOffTrumpz
26K Followers 11K Following ✌Queen✌️ Retired super early, Badass Ex Independent taking a Strong Side DEMOCRAT. I Voted To Save America💃
Tralfaz? @TralfazPete
778 Followers 1K Following Married with children. Chiver. You had me at Star Wars. Lover of hops and grain in the liquid form. Gluten intolerant. #kcco Secundum Artem.
The Vanilla Gorilla �.. @LuckyFrog44
20K Followers 6K Following 2006 Time Magazine’s person of the year. I’m the fu**ing lizard king. Maximum effort. I discovered salt and FM radio.
The Lincoln Project @ProjectLincoln
2.9M Followers 1K Following "You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.” – Abraham Lincoln 🏴☠️ | Home of #TheBreakdown
Dan Rather @DanRather
2.6M Followers 1K Following Journalist, storyteller, lifelong reader. Texan by birth and by choice. Author of STEADY: https://t.co/8kW1QUbZQJ
Brujo☠️Loco🖤Mi.. @patnspankme
52K Followers 44K Following NHRA drag racing fan, darts, sun. I RT and follow. AVI is me. Xsh Ily. Tun Uw
dammitJL @dammitjanet_boo
16K Followers 7K Following PIZZA https://t.co/mxhriZRl2D IG~ jeanette.leigh0
Teri Daniels @bylinetd
7K Followers 4K Following Joker, writer, blogger, eater - Zip to my tweets: https://t.co/AqvpkBc9DJ
Dagfinn Nordbø @DagfinnNordbo
16K Followers 5K Following Tekstforfatter, Det Norske Poesi & Satireorkester+ Dag og Tid, VG. Ny bok: HUMOR - Lær av de beste komikerne og tekstforfatterne. https://t.co/I64f0Z6fUU
Jason Moore @jasonffl
213K Followers 788 Following Co-host of the award-winning @TheFFBallers and @Spitballerspod podcasts 🏆 3x Top-10 most accurate fantasy football analyst. Lover of Christ, comedy and family.
Mike Wright @FFHitman
198K Followers 1K Following The Fantasy Hitman | Co-host of @theffballers and @spitballerspod | he/him
Andy Holloway @andyholloway
231K Followers 541 Following Host @TheFFBallers podcast 🏆 Children's Book https://t.co/412meYOFuO — Dad, ice cream enthusiast, pickleball junkie https://t.co/7xN76GhBkV — Christ follower.
Fantasy Footballers @TheFFBallers
367K Followers 2K Following #1 Fantasy Football Podcast — Home of https://t.co/7qU0RloYod 🏆 Entertaining, year-round...we help you win. @AndyHolloway @JasonFFL @FFHitman
Smart-Ass Old Man🥃.. @windermeremike
527 Followers 918 Following Old man with a Smart Phone a Wise Ass and mediocre ideas... oh, and I like tacos, college football and fishing of course #alwayshavealwayswill
Lindsay @Rollinintheseat
16K Followers 4K Following Hi, I'm Lindsay. I use a wheelchair to get around most of the time. Most of my tweets are about life from the sitting down perspective.
Stacey Eastoe @StaceyEastoe
6K Followers 3K Following Failed country singer, aspiring comedian. Fortunately, I'm incredibly talented at drawing stick figure animals.
ItWasTheOtherSarah @theothersarah17
796 Followers 1K Following cars, ink, vodka, music, lipstick, superstars, glitter, lifting, blue eyes---shaken, not stirred https://t.co/V8jS0fOBjv
shannon sharpe @ShannonSharpe
2.1M Followers 604 Following Graduate of Savannah State University/Pro Football Hall of Fame, 3X Superbowl Champ Broncos/Ravens Contact Info: [email protected]
Derek A @Son_DeeRRF
599 Followers 1K Following Expert in sports, politics, & matters of opinion. Tweet like a jerk when LA Rams play. I'm a leaf on the wind watch how I soar. I block randos at will & for fun
Sarah Valentine | The.. @TheMindfulMinx
64K Followers 2K Following Sensual Ninja| Dork| Proud Gen Xer! Certified Sexologist & Coach for Men. Follow for mindful and sexy encouragement!
Megan Rikas @MegsHAUSTED
5K Followers 1K Following ADHD SAHM of 2 brilliant ADHD girls w/ ADHD hubs. Soccer coach. Class mom. Writer. Terrible singer. Funny & contemplative. IG & FB: @MegsHAUSTED
pls call me ari 🌸 @aristilltweets
7K Followers 3K Following idk man im just trying • 26 • he/they • nsfw at times •
Trainwruk @trainwruk
1K Followers 348 Following Podcaster on The Witty Bitch• “If Joan Rivers and Kurt Loder had a love child”• General bad influence • Avid watcher of reality tv • • Never settle 👌🙌
@historyinmemes If you shut your eyes , you could convince yourself Mickey Mouse has just broken the 400m indoor world record for Netherlands
@SanaSMalik This pretty much explains today's society
Name a canceled TV show that deserves another season!
Kids these days will never know the struggles of needing 10 D batteries and a dislocated shoulder just to be cool.
When I wake up in the morning, it usually takes about 5 or 6 hours before I’m ready to get out of bed.
I thought I heard it raining outside so I went to my weather app on my phone to make sure.
He won but what' the cost
This is wild 😭
More of this, please.
@crazyclipsonly If it was my baby, that Priest will meet God that day.
Inject in my veins for eternity
@y2c313 @woodwardsports @UMichFootball @maniacspodcast @MZoneWTKA @GoBlueDET @wolverineswire @Balas_Wolverine @MrRickFlick @GetUpESPN Nope, he really said it! 😆
@PicturesFoIder I see even kids are getting tired of these Trends💀🤣😂😆
Your average Paul Finebaum caller:
The Tide is ready
Paul Finebaum still tweaking. after Bama loss. #CFBPlayoff
I feel bad posting this but that first shot got me crying real tears 😭 (via blackfreckless/TT)
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