Swims With The Fish @fish4catfish
Only two things elicit an instant follow, funny tweets or a great pair of legs. twitter.com/search/from:fi… Misery Joined January 2017-
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I’ve got the hiccups bad. Last time was 19 hours. Taking bets on how long these will last. Over and under is 15 hours.
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Been a long time since I was this buzzed which begs the question. Wtf was I waiting on?
Am I buzzed af? Yes. Will I continue drinking? Also yes.
Swims With The Fish retweeted
Yes! Me too
Mine are damn near black.
Mine are damn near black. https://t.co/xme8wAOL4C
It’s a beautiful day to smoke ribs and drink beer.
Without revealing your age, who was your very first favorite MLB player. Brooks Robinson “the human vacuum cleaner”
Without revealing your age, who was your very first favorite MLB player. Brooks Robinson “the human vacuum cleaner” https://t.co/7CGbHb6Tpn
Swims With The Fish retweeted
home is a girl with brown eyes
Sometime the TL just lines up.
So to pregame for my week in Florida, I’m on a 5-day fishing and drinking trip. Love that retirement life.
A bourbon on the rocks is the perfect end to an afternoon of fishing.
Worked my ass off today getting ready for a 5-day fishing trip. Totally worth it.
Been doing my taxes. There’s not a butt plug made big enough to fill the gaping hole left.
Spent most of the day doing taxes. Of course I’m drinking tonight.
I need to buy shittier whiskey. One glass of my usual at bedtime is like eating one potato chip.
The recipe for happiness: Fill a highball glass with ice. Pour half a glass of bourbon. Sip. Repeat.
Grabbed a water chaser but then had leftover ice for bourbon. It’s a glorious circle.
A good buzz is highly underrated. Especially when you can sleep in tomorrow
Swims With The Fish retweeted
Savage.
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I have made some phenomenal pizzas in my life, but these bastards in the oven are smelling like pure heaven.
Do Trader Joe’s employees make it a habit of randomly giving customers flowers? Or did I just get hit on….
19: Why'd all your college boyfriends have such basic names??? Me: Your dad's name is... Dan.
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@LoveMyScionFRS I'm the worst but you're the best for saying this.
@fish4catfish I dragged raced a guy at a stoplight once and ended up dating him. But that's totally different. I didn't actually meet him for like a couple months after that. But he sure remembered me. 😅
get you a girl whose favourite two words are more and harder
She’s not secretive, you’re just not entitled to information about her life unless she wants to include you in it. Read that as many times as you need to.
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FYI I got this pic from the internet it’s not happening in real life
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