Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews
This account is run by Hat Trick, who make HIGNFY. The BBC have asked us to point out it's nothing to do with them; the twitter feed that is, not the TV show. bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episod… Joined March 2010-
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Rishi Sunak vows to boost UK defence spending to 2.5% of GDP by 2030 – yes, and by then, Putin and the New Greater Soviet Union won't know what hit them
A thief has been captured by off-duty Met Police officers who were in Barcelona on a stag do – the suspect was left hand-cuffed to a lamp-post with his genitals covered in shaving-foam
St. George's Day, the Roman Cappadocian patron saint of England, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Georgia, Ukraine, Malta, Ethiopia, Catalonia, Aragon, Moscow, and others – but what nationality was the dragon?
Paul Merton and Suki Webster’s Improv Show on every Wednesday at @comedystoreuk - tickets available here london.thecomedystore.co.uk/event/paul-mer…
Channel 4 announces its General Election team, including Crufts presenter Clare Balding – though neither Sunak nor Starmer could really be described as 'Best in Show'
MP Mark Menzies quits the Conservatives after claims he misused his campaign funds – but to be fair, he could have used them for something far worse, like actually funding his campaign
An airline has revealed that British holidaymakers drank all the booze on a 4-hour flight to Turkey in 25 minutes, in a much needed post-Brexit boost to national pride
Brand new episode hosted by @XanderArmstrong with @munyachawawa and Jo Brand tonight at 9pm on BBC One and iPlayer!
20% of Tory MPs say they will leave Parliament at the next General Election – and if they've had enough of the place, things must be bad
Rishi Sunak says he's on a mission to end 'sick note' culture. Perhaps he can start with some of the messages being sent by his own MPs
Angela Rayner’s claims that she didn't owe any tax because of home improvements show that she's willing to throw everything, including the kitchen sink, at this case
Promoting her new book on Fox News, Liz Truss does an impressive job of summing up her time as PM for the American people
Nigel Farage says attempts to censor him in Brussels show that he was right about leaving Europe, as he refuses to leave Europe
Royal Mail has been told to stop fining people for receiving letters that use a counterfeit stamp as "innocent people are being penalised for the mistakes of others." So business as usual at the Post Office
Liz Truss refuses to rule out running again as Conservative leader – having done 49 days as PM, she's determined to reach her half-century
Runners in the Beijing half-marathon are accused of deliberately slowing down, and waving the winner through to victory – much like what's happening in the Premier League
We're back again tonight at 9pm on BBC One and iPlayer, with @FryRsquared, joined by @Parmapatrick and @zoelyons
James O'Brien @mrjamesob
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The Post Office has spent twice as much defending itself as it has in compensating the victims of the Horizon scandal, it’s reassuring that at least the lawyers won’t have to wait for their money...
George Galloway has been sworn into parliament, with most Tory and Labour MPs using the same four-letter words
It’s a big day in US politics, as 16 states hold their Presidential primary votes. Trump is looking to see off the challenge of Nikki Haley while Joe Biden is up against a total unknown, until one of his aides reminds him who it is
Kate Middleton's uncle, Gary Goldsmith, told his fellow Big Brother housemates that she'd be "hiding behind the sofa", which explains where she's been all this time
Rishi Sunak is said to be seriously considering a General Election in May as he weighs up whether Spring or Autumn is the best time to move house
Trump's White House was 'awash' with drugs, a former official claims. Investigators say they suspect drug use was at a peak around the time Donald Trump tried to buy Greenland
GB News has reported losses of £42 million as a result of overpaying onscreen talent, thereby demonstrating a misunderstanding of both accounting practices and the word 'talent'
Donald Trump has named the USA as a third world country, after identifying Mexico first and then Cuba
Rishi Sunak says he'll stick to his economic tax plan of making cuts, inspired by the successful cuts already made this week to the number of Tory MPs
Keir Starmer has played down Labour's by-election wins saying, 'as every football fan knows, you don't win the league by February', and as an Arsenal Fan he'll be well aware what an embarrassing collapse in May looks like
As the backlash continues, new light is shed on the PM's actions after it emerges his wife owns shares in Bet365
Rishi Sunak has rowed back on his £1,000 bet with Piers Morgan over the Rwanda policy, claiming he is "not a betting person". He's not a "running the country person" either, yet here we are
Ahead of the General Election, a number of Conservative MPs have shaved off their beards to help them appeal more to voters, presumably in the hope that no-one will recognise them
A woman in Devon gave birth whilst doing her weekly shop. Staff brought hot towels, antiseptic, gas and air - lucky she went into labour in the middle aisle of Aldi
As The Times releases its 2024 list of the country’s Top Taxpayers, there’s bitter disappointment for Akshata Murty as she fails to make the top 100
It's thought that Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp is announcing his retirement at the end of the season to give his team one last push to finish runners up to Man City
Students at Harris 6th Form state school get more places at Oxford and Cambridge this year than their counterparts at Eton. Getting into Oxbridge is all very well, but do they have the qualities that Etonians are famous for?
Former Sunak advisor will work to oust the Prime Minister, but only after he’s finished his homework, according to his mum