PieGuy @ilovepie84
My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbK North pole Joined June 2011-
Tweets8K
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Followers30K
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Following6K
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Likes181K
PieGuy retweeted
Took my laptop to the coffee shop to get some writing done like I’m some kind of hipster with a job that lets me sit and work in coffee shops all day.
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PieGuy retweeted
Godzilla: Soaking jumper champion since 2014
PieGuy retweeted
A Fuck up your sleep schedule to talk to me longer kinda guy
No I can’t give you a ride home from work. That’s my 15 minutes to cry
PieGuy retweeted
I cannot believe I am still not born into extreme wealth & privilege.
PieGuy retweeted
{first day robbing a bank} ME: THROW YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND WAVE ‘EM LIKE YOU JUST DON’T CARE
PieGuy retweeted
*sending my stunt double into work today*
PieGuy retweeted
fast-forwarding through the ads was the best system and we fucked up. we fucked up bad
PieGuy retweeted
Remember when we were Neanderthals and only used one monitor at work?
PieGuy retweeted
Them: how do you stay so humble? Me: *chuckles* by being absolutely shit at everything
PieGuy retweeted
This is mutiny! - Me, to my knees
PieGuy retweeted
Dracula: you will become a creature of the night. Not alive, but not dead. You will thirst for blood and haunt the land for eternity Me: but I can play video games all the time, forever? Dracula: in theory…yes Me: ok let’s do this
PieGuy retweeted
christian bale: i am batman christian braille: ⠊ ⠁⠍ ⠃⠁⠞⠍⠁⠝
PieGuy retweeted
I love when the Duolingo owl yells at me. It’s so invigorating.
PieGuy retweeted
Me on my way to yell at my husband for being on his phone after I got bored of using mine
PieGuy retweeted
Downside to getting older: ◉ develop a limp after sitting for 10 minutes ◉ migrating hair ◉ pee whether or not you’re on a toilet Upside to getting older: ○ ○ ◉ no one will ever ask you to move anything
PieGuy retweeted
I never did get that bun that was in the oven. Guess the baby ate it.
PieGuy retweeted
Nobody knows for sure what the first words ever spoken by a parrot were, but the second words were “WTF!”
PieGuy retweeted
“I’ll just wing it,” is the dumbest thing I say regularly.
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ᴀꜱʜ 🦂🖤 @GhostMusings
177 Followers 215 Following 🪦🦇ʜᴏʀʀᴏʀ ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴡᴇɪʀᴅᴏ | ᴄᴏᴍɪᴄꜱ | ᴍᴇᴛᴀʟ + ᴇᴍᴏ | ᴘɴᴡ 🌲 | ♡ @RedTwoSBTook my laptop to the coffee shop to get some writing done like I’m some kind of hipster with a job that lets me sit and work in coffee shops all day.
@ilovepie84 @ohgeorgeishere Maybe it's the zesty miracle whip?
@ilovepie84 Mine was the drive TO work. Cried everyday for years.
Godzilla: Soaking jumper champion since 2014
A Fuck up your sleep schedule to talk to me longer kinda guy
I cannot believe I am still not born into extreme wealth & privilege.
{first day robbing a bank} ME: THROW YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND WAVE ‘EM LIKE YOU JUST DON’T CARE
fast-forwarding through the ads was the best system and we fucked up. we fucked up bad
Remember when we were Neanderthals and only used one monitor at work?
Them: how do you stay so humble? Me: *chuckles* by being absolutely shit at everything
Dracula: you will become a creature of the night. Not alive, but not dead. You will thirst for blood and haunt the land for eternity Me: but I can play video games all the time, forever? Dracula: in theory…yes Me: ok let’s do this
christian bale: i am batman christian braille: ⠊ ⠁⠍ ⠃⠁⠞⠍⠁⠝
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