I’m going to bed - I got @DUALIPA tomorrow!!

Wow guess I’m really in the spirit this year #SpotifyWrapped

Thank you @pandoramusic! Go listen to “Wrap Me Up” on Holiday Hits: pandora.app.link/UDRSK4bxZEb twitter.com/pandoramusic/s…

@Meghan_Trainor and I just wrapped up the Pandora billboard in Times Square. Listen to ‘Wrap Me Up’ on the Holiday Hits playlist on #PandoraMusic.

Thank you @jimmykimmel for having Meghan Trainor and I on to perform ‘Wrap Me Up’ live for the first time! When’s the next one, @Meghan_Trainor?

Happy Cyber Monday! Get two Jimmys for the price of one! I will be performing #WrapMeUp live with @Meghan_Trainor on @JimmyKimmelLive.

You don't need a joke, you need a Jake. @JakeStateFarm @StateFarm #ad

Guys number 2!!!!! OMG!!! We’re so close! We’re so close!!! #HappyThanksgiving #WrapMeUp

WE DID IT!!!! Number 1!!!! It’s a #Thanksgiving miracle!!!!!?!?! music.apple.com/us/album/wrap-…

Okay - we are #6 now!!! I want to see if we can get Wrap Me Up to the top of the iTunes Holiday charts even just for one second. Wanna try? At 1pm eastern/10am pacific anyone who hasn’t downloaded it yet please do. I’ll update on the show tonight and it will give me something to… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

Just woke up to the best news! Wrap Me Up is officially the #1 most added song on pop radio. Thank you radio! I love ya!

If you look around at Thanksgiving and don’t know who the family weirdo is - it’s you. #WePost

Happy #WorldTelevisionDay. I’ve been practicing my monologue stance for a long time…

My uncle would name each of the buttons on his pants, so every time he unbuttoned one after dinner he'd call it out by name. "Ted, you are free to go." (UNBUTTON).... "Kevin, you're next ...." #MyFamilyIsWeird

It's Hashtags time! This week, post some funny or weird stories about people in your family. Could be on the show! #MyFamilyIsWeird

Wow wow wow! Thank you guys so much!! music.apple.com/us/album/wrap-…

It’s time! #WrapMeUp w/ @Meghan_Trainor out tonight at midnight!!🎄 #Christmas2023

Hey, cousins who suddenly have to take a walk for some “fresh air” on Thanksgiving, we know you’re just going to get stoned. #WePost

My mom one year only made food out of a Guy Fieri cookbook. Made us all dress like Guy Fieri. #WorstThanksgiving

It's Hashtags time! This week, post some hilarious, weird and terrible Thanksgiving moments. Could be on the show! #WorstThanksgiving

Ray Romano is in Vegas at the Mirage on December 2nd. He was on my show not too long ago and told the “Apple Watch” joke. It’s one of my favorite bits I’ve ever heard. (YouTube it?) If you are in Vegas or planning a trip - go see him. Tickets: rb.gy/mplmw1

Futons are perfect for people who can’t decide whether they’d prefer to hurt their backs while sitting up or lying down. #WePost

My friend's coworker would bring in a bag of hard boiled eggs for lunch everyday and eat each one in two bites. #MyWeirdCoworker

It's Hashtags time! This week, post some funny or weird stories about people you've worked with. Could be on the show! #MyWeirdCoworker

Nothing is more confusing than finding a mannequin attractive. #WePost

My friend told me to give a weak handshake in job interviews so you don't seem "too eager." #Badvice

It’s Hashtags time! This week, post some funny, weird or bad advice someone has given you. Could be on the show! #Badvice

I found this cardigan under my bed. It’s my favorite!

Thank you @jjabrams, @birbigs thank you @chrisrock and thank you @ComedyCellarUSA you guys were all instrumental in getting the bug back for me. #standup

There's always one or two people on a construction site that look like they're just wearing the helmet for fun. #WePost