Jordan @jordanmcaleese_
Joined March 2012-
Tweets14K
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Followers200
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Following148
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Likes4K
We’re old. Day parties and Brunch only. Don’t invite me out after 10pm. ☝🏽😂
This needs to be said as I see THIRD GRADE KIDS with smart phones in my daughters class: When you give your kid a phone, you are NOT giving your kid acces to the WORLD; You are giving the WORLD access to your KID. What are your thoughts on phones, ages & boundaries?
Dan Schneider you fat sloppy bitch
Say yes when your kids ask you to: - ride bikes - go fishing - go on a hike - shoot hoops - built a pillow fort - play a board game - play in the backyard - jump in a mud puddle At some point they'll ask for the last time. It will come sooner if you constantly tell them no.
Insanely clear waters of Alaska 📹 John Derting
everything i need in here.
The Superbowl would be a lot better if it didn't start in the middle of the night at 6:30PM.
a do not disturber
Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more
Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more
Christmas is in 2 minutes and the only thing wrapped up is me in this blanket.
forgetting to wear your jewelry
It’s been Saturday for like 3 days straight what’s going on
yes pls
Edna 😻 @Edna_Macey6788
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Who is allowed to show up to your house unannounced?
I feel like I’m outgrowing 85% of the ppl in my life.. the way ppl think, operate, and move in general just don’t relate to my lifestyle anymore.
The $20 bill is starting to give $5 bill energy and I don’t like that.
Given most adults cannot manage their smartphone and social media related addictions and emotions, the idea of giving a young child unfettered access to them strikes me as insane.
i think jobs should have 30 minutes of silent reading time every day after lunch just like fifth grade did
music is the strongest time capsule for me. i can remember where i was in life, who i was close to, who i was, etc. with every track im hearing.
I no longer dislike Mondays, i’m mature now… I dislike the whole week
Run errands early as shit before the idiots wake up
Hello Little Bear
a toddler running to give you a big hug is the best thing ever🥹
Beingg toxic isn't cute. Grow up and learn to love correctly.
Being able to see without glasses or contact lenses
what is a privilege that people act as if it isn't ???
In the past month Taylor Swift has continued a world tour, won her 14th Grammy, announced her 11th new album, and watched her boyfriend play in the Super Bowl and I’ve been “getting ready to dust” for the past two weeks.
when you wake up and check your phone to see how much longer you can sleep, but its right before your alarm rings
We broke while making triple what our parents made.