donald boat @laserboat999

20 years old Joined April 2021

Tweets

13K
Followers

79K
Following

865
Likes

30K

donald boat @laserboat999

2 days ago

at elite private colleges they let you take entry level seminars on adrenochrome harvesting while at state school they hold class in local service tunnels and the instructor breaks class midway through to chase you all the way down while throwing pipes, wrenches and rocks at you

2 10 166 10K 3

donald boat @laserboat999

4 days ago

Ngl big slime that interjection was tangentially related at best

0 40 446 20K 20

donald boat @laserboat999

5 days ago

Unimpeachable riff, sire. One can imagine you delivering such a masterful quip in His Majesty's court, waiting for the most delightful pause to deliver such a jest at the precise moment of utmost comedy. The spine tingles at the thought of it, sire.

1 3 84 8K 2

donald boat @laserboat999

5 days ago

the most shameful act you can catch an adult man is making a tiktok. I caught my 24 year old roommate making one in the bathroom. He had a peace sign up and was swinging his hips from side to side anime-girlishly. It was like catching the schoolmaster in the outhouse, molesting

10 362 10K 270K 377

donald boat @laserboat999

5 days ago

Something my dullard roommate believes is that any pill starts to work the moment it touches your tongue, he took his vitamin D this morning (He is ridiculously deficient), washed it down and said out loud “Ahhhh… Much Better!”

6 20 384 15K 11

donald boat @laserboat999

5 days ago

Mogging my computer science lecture by showing up with my laptop, charger, LED gaming keyboard & mouse wrapped up in a red-striped bindle attached to a 7 foot pole

0 0 81 8K 4

donald boat @laserboat999

6 days ago

(You enter my outhouse, where I am draped luxuriously in expectation across a roof support beam)

0 3 55 9K 1

Pepper Boy @KiddDozer

3 years ago

When an old head roars

2 22 152 0 5

donald boat @laserboat999

6 days ago

Corner store egyptian smoke shop guy tried to sell us weed, his final pitch as we were out the door was “Bro you can die tomorrow bro, come and i give you special deal…”

6 11 450 18K 10

donald boat @laserboat999

6 days ago

low tier communication systems: facetime, instant messaging mid tier: letters delivered by horseback, signal fires across mountaintops top tier: pigeon mail, having shit revealed to you in a dream, old timey telephone where you have to hold a string and a horn to your ear

4 18 259 11K 10

donald boat @laserboat999

7 days ago

My buddys dad likes to take showers in the back yard and then walk in the living room while we’re all hanging out holding a towel to his loins and saying “Oh, oh man, I’m sorry you all have to see me like this” but then he spends 30 minutes walking around in front of us like that

4 3 125 11K 5

donald boat @laserboat999

a week ago

2 166 3K 64K 98

Download Image

donald boat @laserboat999

a week ago

the erudite hobo (he can't stop lugging around tomes of wisdom in his oversized bindle)

0 11 85 9K 4

donald boat @laserboat999

a week ago

I know deep down in my soul im a dumb fuck american cause I heard a French guy say "le porno" on the street today and I shot boogers out the nose from laughing too hard