NewsThump @newsthump
Former blue check. Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot. @[email protected] newsthump.com London Joined February 2009-
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NEWS! After 'Mr Bates vs The Post Office' loses £1m, ITV urged to check if their bookkeeping software is made by Fujitsu buff.ly/3y1gi5h
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Has anyone checked if the software that tracks how much money TV shows make was developed by Fujitsu?
Who says a mug can't be a conversation starter? Get yours HERE >>> buff.ly/3JurYAe
NEWS! 'I just don't trust any jab', insists woman who happily injects literal poison into her forehead every six months buff.ly/49Pwq7q
NEWS! Prison sentences to be introduced for grown-ups who clap when a plane lands buff.ly/3Qi9bvT
My shitlist of people who call unnecessary meetings. The new notebook you didn't know you needed, until right now. Get yours HERE >>> buff.ly/4dbOfjF
NEWS! Man quietly sings ‘fuck you I won’t do what you tell me’ whilst putting jam on his scone first buff.ly/3UzItkY
NEWS! Colleagues rally round Tory MP Hannibal Lector following cannibalism revelations buff.ly/3y0B3Os
The original Supercomputer, the #ZXSpectrum is 42 today! Get your T-shirt HERE >>> buff.ly/4d9Js2o
NEWS! Brave patriot highlights his love of country and St George by hurling traffic cone at policeman buff.ly/4d7xPch #StGeorgesDay
NEWS! Games Workshop further outrages fans by changing name of Corpse Starch to Snickers buff.ly/44awtte
British Summertime, all the weather, all the time. Get your new summer T-shirt HERE >>> buff.ly/44agHyq
NEWS! Laurence Fox demands Google 'forget' St. George was actually a Turkish migrant buff.ly/4b3Cfiv
NEWS! Saint George actually a Pink Hippopotamus, historians confirm buff.ly/44dvLLz
NEWS! Oppressed English forced to meet in hidden underground locations to safely wish each other a happy Saint George's Day buff.ly/3JvZ42I #StGeorgesDay
NEWS! Man who hates the concept of 'self-identification' delighted that Rwanda has self-identified as 'safe' buff.ly/4aIzh36
BREAKING! Donald Trump's lawyers reveal cunning plan to ensure the jury never sees him fall asleep in court.
Labour is once again getting the blame for the government's failure to pass its illegal Rwanda Bill. This despite the Tories having a clear majority in the Commons and over 100 more peers than Labour in the Lords. They keep proving our T-shirts true > buff.ly/4aMo0ic
"Why would we need to pay spies when we can get all the info we need from your politicians with nothing more than a Grindr account?" insists China
Sir Michael Take CBE @MichaelTakeMP
106K Followers 520 Following The former Conservative MP for Dorset East. 🇬🇧
HappyToast★ @IamHappyToast
82K Followers 1K Following Nonsense. Encourage me https://t.co/Gz3FiSMkeT https://t.co/VnAzGc1UGB https://t.co/z5xvaRPrDn
ʟᴀʀʀʏ & ᴘᴀ�.. @larryandpaul
66K Followers 2K Following Writers. Actors. But most of all: Mothers. 🎬 SKETCHES: https://t.co/tFMVKs5HuO 💸 SUPPORT: https://t.co/yJjBpDsKQu
Trumpton @Trump_ton
37K Followers 3K Following Trumpton is a small town run by an egotistical Mayor who isn't really qualified for office, very much like the UK. Created by @mikedicks
Skew Spew Barmy Haird.. @SkewSmug
21K Followers 15K Following It is unreasonable for reasonable people to be reasonable with unreasonable people.
Brexit Buster @BrexitBuster
34K Followers 20K Following We are the Rejoin Resistance, popping Brexit bubbles. Mostly satire, sometimes deadly serious. Love the UK & the EU. With Ukraine 🇺🇦. Detest Nazis & racists.
christhebarker @christhebarker
25K Followers 2K Following Professional art director/illustrator/comedy photoshopper. Follow me for good pics and photos of ham I sometimes feed the sparrows too.
Malcolm V Tucker 🏴.. @Tucker5law
41K Followers 13K Following ‘unbelievably rude’ - Rupert. Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by fuckwittery. Voice on @AngryScotland.
Mrs Nigel Farage @MrsNigel
26K Followers 11K Following Wife of Lord Farage (tbc) and First Lady of Brexit. Parody obvs.
fleetstreetfox @fleetstreetfox
98K Followers 2K Following Fleet Street hack and author. Often sarcastic, occasionally right. Fox (n) carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; to be drunk
paul bassett davies @thewritertype
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Hamma-Lamma-Ding-Dong @Schadyhamster
18K Followers 16K Following Contains artificial colouring and sweetener.
I Am Incorrigible als.. @ImIncorrigible
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Jim Cognito @JimCognito2016
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𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧.. @TwopTwips
164K Followers 3K Following Please listen to my awful music by following ‘The Rocket House’ on yer usual music platforms.
Pete 🤬 @Sarf_London
7K Followers 7K Following CPFC. Stuck in a post-punkish timewarp. Miserable bastard. Atheist. Serious dislike of Tories and royals. Misanthrope. Sweeney. Crisps.
Unnamed Insider @Unnamedinsider
41K Followers 5K Following Stupid jokes and self-important rants since 2011
NewsBiscuit ℹ️ @NewsBiscuit
11K Followers 91 Following https://t.co/6GkuksBHAh 'The British version of The Onion' - New York Times. The news written by you: https://t.co/BLKsDlavIH Podcast: https://t.co/w1Y3I9bLMV
Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilarious
Nivek @gammonrager
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Lynn Sands @Lynnlucy
864 Followers 2K Following Support worker for homeless young people's charity by day Detached youth worker evenings x Socialist x No DMs please x
Cruella AKA LeakySue .. @SueLeaky
4K Followers 2K Following Suella Braverman parody Living the dream
Lucy J Horritt @LusciousLuce
36 Followers 222 Following Northern bird in exile on the south coast. Into cricket, red wine & cats - often at the same time.
Old Curmudgeon @AKASDM
540 Followers 1K Following Usually ignored so mostly tweeting to myself. #dontbuythesun #abolishthemonarchy #nevervotetory #joinaunion #PCS #❤️🏏
Spacehopper @Spacehopper2016
37 Followers 45 Following
#SanctionIsraelNow�.. @westie4eva
4K Followers 4K Following Socialist. She/her. I BLOCK RW BOTS & COOKERS. 凸( •̀_•́ )凸 Israel is a terrorist state! #SanctionIsraelNow #StopArmingIsrael FREE PALESTINE!🇵🇸
George Thomas @birdman2
21K Followers 22K Following Introverted extrovert a Grumpy Old Man,I have a MarmitePersonality.#MUFC.FBPE. GTTO, NHS not for sale..#FB.
Jean Smith @JeanSmi62924254
90 Followers 383 Following
Rebel Tours @RebelToursUK
85 Followers 191 Following Radical London walking tours and experiences, focussed on some of the rogues and rebels who have shaped the history of this great city. Do London differently!
Gray Caws @graycaws
1K Followers 1K Following Founder at Adventures In Movement, Run With Ease Coach, Oxygen Advantage Instructor, Specialist Exercise Personal Trainer
Mark Summerfield @MarkSum71053137
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Amy L Patterson @AmyLeeP
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Jonathan Strutt @jonathan_strutt
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James McMahon @jamesglasgow63
115 Followers 537 Following Music, wildlife, gardening, travel, politically left, veggie.
Dan Hyslop @hyslop_dan
39 Followers 469 Following School governance, politics, cycling, cricket and cats.
Garr1nch4 @Garr1nch4188571
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Andy Triplett @TriplettAndy
23 Followers 126 Following
alienfromzog 💙 @alienfromzog
301 Followers 432 Following Christian, husband, father, paediatric surgeon, research fellow, microlight pilot, occasional blogger, old-fashioned, Christian-socialist. #MedTwitter
Fred Kite @HampdenHorrors
329 Followers 400 Following
Nelson snipes stog @Nelsonsnip
918 Followers 5K Following 🥼orthopedic surgeon, Justice and development party. #Healthislife
Mark Lindley @malindley
59 Followers 73 Following Inspired by music. John McLaughlin, Nitin Sawhney, Natacha Atlas, Jeff Beck, Arun Ghosh, Emily Saunders, Carlos Santana, Julian Bream, John Williams.
Dave Scott @greaterscott
300 Followers 900 Following Biophysics and stuff like that. Academic, writer of papers and World-leading accumulator of grant rejection emails. King of the unfunded collaboration.
Patty O'Doors @PatWill24306672
17 Followers 168 Following Sweary carer, lover of chips. A friend of socialist cats. 🇮🇪
AKing27 @KingWoody95
28 Followers 839 Following
Dan B @CynicalMrB
3 Followers 502 Following
Jane Smith @lucindaplot1
6 Followers 86 Following
robert mckenzie @mckfcca
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Henry Law @HenryLaw2
16 Followers 146 Following
Newham Studios - Expe.. @NewhamStudios
22 Followers 56 Following Guitar, Bass, Piano & Drum Lessons. Qualified Teachers, 30 years experience, Competitive Rates and Enjoyment Guaranteed. Email us: [email protected]
Tom Reynolds @TommyR21
122 Followers 636 Following Business owner, research advocate. Anti-Tory and anti-Brexit. Proud step-dad and 🇨🇮 immigrant
Jon Slator @JonSlator
82 Followers 251 Following
Julian Fuller @fjulian1957
6 Followers 133 Following
Frances Sweeney @fasweeney
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Damian Sida @damiansida
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Dominic Walton @dominicjwalton
39 Followers 69 Following
Sir Michael Take CBE @MichaelTakeMP
106K Followers 520 Following The former Conservative MP for Dorset East. 🇬🇧
HappyToast★ @IamHappyToast
82K Followers 1K Following Nonsense. Encourage me https://t.co/Gz3FiSMkeT https://t.co/VnAzGc1UGB https://t.co/z5xvaRPrDn
Viz Comic @vizcomic
327K Followers 2K Following Our readers have understood the concept of Buyer's Remorse since 1979. Digital Sub: https://t.co/skgViHMilK… Postal Sub: https://t.co/VZunTaPule
ʟᴀʀʀʏ & ᴘᴀ�.. @larryandpaul
66K Followers 2K Following Writers. Actors. But most of all: Mothers. 🎬 SKETCHES: https://t.co/tFMVKs5HuO 💸 SUPPORT: https://t.co/yJjBpDsKQu
Cassetteboy @Cassetteboy
82K Followers 2K Following Buy us some head cleaner https://t.co/77ImAcwpeZ Also @[email protected] We make mash up videos and a live Comedy Disco
fleetstreetfox @fleetstreetfox
98K Followers 2K Following Fleet Street hack and author. Often sarcastic, occasionally right. Fox (n) carnivore of genus vulpes; crafty person; scavenger; (vb) to confuse; to be drunk
paul bassett davies @thewritertype
28K Followers 2K Following Writer in residence, at my house. NEW novel: https://t.co/qYQgezK9TH
𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧.. @TwopTwips
164K Followers 3K Following Please listen to my awful music by following ‘The Rocket House’ on yer usual music platforms.
Unnamed Insider @Unnamedinsider
41K Followers 5K Following Stupid jokes and self-important rants since 2011
NewsBiscuit ℹ️ @NewsBiscuit
11K Followers 91 Following https://t.co/6GkuksBHAh 'The British version of The Onion' - New York Times. The news written by you: https://t.co/BLKsDlavIH Podcast: https://t.co/w1Y3I9bLMV
Gary Stevenson @garyseconomics
65K Followers 285 Following Inequality Economist. Former Trader. Other Economists make predictions, but my ones are actually right. Explaining Economics on YouTube - garyseconomics
Dan Dawson @Dan_Dawson__
437 Followers 406 Following Connecting AI value dots between techs and execs | Runner | bedroom DJ
Frances 'Cassandra' C.. @Frances_Coppola
95K Followers 5K Following Writer & speaker. Author of The Case for People's QE (Polity). Coming soon: The Absolute Essentials of Banking (Routledge). Sings a bit too.
Byline Times @BylineTimes
229K Followers 3K Following No oligarchs, subsidies, online ads. Just journalism. Funded by our readers. Outside the system. Subscribe to our print edition https://t.co/4gzUGVjDBt
richard brooks @rbrooks45
18K Followers 1K Following @PrivateEyeNews hack & author of Bean Counters (Atlantic, 2018) and The Great Tax Robbery (Oneworld, 2013). Co-founder @taxwatch.
Der Postillon 📯 @Der_Postillon
1.5M Followers 170 Following Ehrliche Nachrichten - unabhängig, schnell, seit 1845
Gary Lineker @GaryLineker
8.9M Followers 1K Following Once kicked a ball about. Now talk about kicking a ball about. The Rest Is Football @restisfootball @Goalhangerpods ..Instagram . Retweets are not endorsements
Terry Mynott @terrymynott
17K Followers 377 Following Actor. Check out my new family fictional podcast link below
Chris Delaney @chris_delaney90
49K Followers 353 Following Full time Senior care worker, part time Tory-disliker! Help I'm trapped in a Reform held constituency until the next election! he/him #TorysOut
Charlotte Lynch @charlotterlynch
16K Followers 2K Following Reporter @LBC, @LBCNews & @global's stations 📻⚡️ Mostly home and social affairs. IRN National Reporter of the Year 2024. [email protected]
Led By Donkeys @ByDonkeys
935K Followers 1 Following Art, activism and accountability 🐴. All our work is funded by the public, no big donors. Become a supporter👇. DMs open 📩.
The Secret Barrister @BarristerSecret
522K Followers 1K Following Wears a black cape and fights crime. Not Batman. • Award-winning Sunday Times No.1 bestselling author • The Secret Barrister • #FakeLaw • Nothing But The Truth
Deborah Meaden 🇺�.. @DeborahMeaden
723K Followers 3K Following Star of Dragon’s Den,Co -Host of the big Green Money Show,Bestselling Childrens Author- instagram and threads @deborahmeaden.
Marina Hyde @MarinaHyde
516K Followers 3K Following Guardian columnist. Co-host of The Rest Is Entertainment podcast.
ReadingFamilyAid @RdgFamilyAid
636 Followers 489 Following A local charity supporting disadvantaged children & their families. Please visit our website to find out more about how we put a smile on children’s faces.
Gurdeep Pandher of th.. @GurdeepPandher
207K Followers 922 Following Feel free to be sad, but don't stay sad forever! Sikh-Canadian talks joy, hope, positivity & dance "Bhangra—folk dance of Punjab" for mental health & optimism.
Noel @SMiLiNGNoelH
348 Followers 526 Following Just be kind. This is an aspiration, rather than a claim on my part. Also kindness does not have to extend to racists and bigots. He/him.
Sara Gibbs @Sara_Rose_G
57K Followers 2K Following Writer. Credits: HIGNFY, Dead Ringers, The News Quiz, The Now Show, Mash Report. Drama Queen author - agent @Rowan_Lawton she/her #EightBrightLights out 9th Nov
𝘼𝙙𝙖𝙢 @acmtix
1K Followers 3K Following #THWACK #MVP #culturehacker #TrustTheData YouTube : https://t.co/EWnxRLsrVB
Jon Stewart @jonstewart
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Joe Biden @JoeBiden
38.0M Followers 46 Following Husband to @DrBiden, proud father and grandfather. Ready to finish the job for all Americans. Official account is @POTUS.
President Biden @POTUS
34.8M Followers 5 Following 46th President of the United States, husband to @FLOTUS, proud dad & pop. Tweets may be archived: https://t.co/HDhBZBkKpU Text me: (302) 404-0880
Dara Ó Briain @daraobriain
2.6M Followers 699 Following Talks far too quickly, mumbles, and yet, still doing it. Touring New show Nov 2021, into 2022/23! Latest science book for kids "Is there Anybody Out There?"
Adrian Bott @Cavalorn
11K Followers 1K Following Author of MG/YA fiction & game stuff. Rants about folklore. Opinions my own. He/him. Lead Writer for @PlayWarframe (you shiny things)
Jo Maugham @JolyonMaugham
437K Followers 2K Following Director @GoodLawProject. Barrister. Live your values. Fight the power. Keep the receipts. He/him.
David Lammy @DavidLammy
780K Followers 5K Following Dave to my friends. Labour MP for Tottenham. Shadow Foreign Secretary. Author of Tribes and Out of the Ashes. @LBC on Sundays 10 - 1pm. Spurs fan #COYS.
James Felton @JimMFelton
330K Followers 3K Following Bestselling author 52 Times Britain Was A Bellend: https://t.co/IOylVjHwzA Sunburn, a funny book about how shit The Sun is: https://t.co/Zewi6HPEDE
Venn That Tune @vennthattune
17 Followers 1 Following Like music? Like Venn diagrams? You'll love Venn That Tune!
Michael Spicer @MrMichaelSpicer
505K Followers 2K Following michael spicer: no room on bbc sounds and radio 4 subscribe now please
Tom B @tejb1
44 Followers 104 Following Cynical grumpy young man. Anti-Thatcherite. Technician in audiovisual wizardry and percussive maintenance. Views and sarcasm my own.
ChasTech @chas_tech
47 Followers 86 Following Loves technology, phones, working with Raspberry Pi and coding. #techreviews #iphone #android #ios #linux #raspberrypi
Jim'll Paint It @Jimllpaintit
153K Followers 329 Following People ask me to draw pictures on Microsoft Paint. Follow me on Instagram: https://t.co/FwNbgiUHcQ
Summer Ray @SummerRay
28K Followers 1K Following voiceover/writer/illustrator/absolute joke. https://t.co/nwwRcZusqj
RemainVoter.com @remainvoter
21K Followers 355 Following We'll help make your vote count with Smart Voting and remember you only vote smart if you can’t vote from the heart.
Wikimedia UK @wikimediauk
16K Followers 8K Following Supporting Wikipedia and the Wikimedia community in the UK | #openknowledge for all! #OpenAccess #OER | https://t.co/WqHcNVHLko
Alice Dyer @AliceDyerJourno
1K Followers 1K Following Juggling the fun-filled world of family life and local news. Deputy Editor @ChronandEcho
Femi @Femi_Sorry
411K Followers 3K Following Femi Oluwole 🇬🇧Law grad Don't like when my government abets genocide 🍉 https://t.co/vumLBkQRxS Write for Independent Media enquiries: By Direct Message
Carole Cadwalladr @carolecadwalla
695K Followers 6K Following Late adopter. Late giver-upper. Guardian & Observer writer.
Eve @meeteve
16K Followers 345 Following Connected home devices that set superior standards of #comfort, #safety and #energyefficiency. #Eve #SmartHome
Charles P. Oliver @cpoliver
129 Followers 138 Following Front-End developer. Drum 'n' Bass aficionado. Profanity enthusiast.
Succubus Magazine @succubus_mag
4K Followers 553 Following faking it (on a lil hiatus, back soon we hope)
Tom Chivers @TomChivers
58K Followers 1K Following "Far too nice to be a journalist": Terry Pratchett. Lead writer, Flagship. Semafor. chiversthomas(a)gmail. Third book, Everything is Predictable, out April
The Account Formerly .. @jdwtwats
4K Followers 0 Following This is no longer a Wetherspoons Twitter account. ACCOUNT NOW CLOSED. PLEASE UNFOLLOW
@newsthump The best is that the #TeamGB branding was launched back in June 2023. It's been around for 10 months!
"does a chair man have to bring his own chair?"
Honoured to be asked by the Prime Minister @RishiSunak to become Deputy Chairman of the @Conservatives. I’m ready to take the fight to Sir Keir’s hopeless & hapless Labour Party. By sticking to the plan, we’ll grow the economy, stop the boats & level up across the country.
@newsthump You see more people at a paedophile’s funeral than that.
@newsthump Tommy ten names and the lanky racist
@newsthump @mrjamesob I can just see the Telegraph article now. Why Rishi is right to throw all puppies into the Thames.
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