But seriously, @TheBrick, I'd really like to know where my microwave is. hmu.
@davesawchuk See this system here? This is Hi-Fi... high fidelity. What that means is that it's the highest quality fidelity.
I just know I’ll die doing something stupid, but it definitely won’t be for tasing myself in the balls
@toujours_fab Do you think Pence could even say the word 'coozie'? Seems a bit too raunchy for him.
@toujours_fab Totally. Half a raspberry White Claw and he's fucked.
@shelldash The trick is under the tongue... The ambien that is.
You know who deserved a PS5? Joseph.
"I could play my drum for him? Would your sleeping baby enjoy that?"
How do I change herds? Is there a form or something?
On the next Maury, a very special Who's your Daddy?... Guests include Mary & Joseph... And a surprise guest you've got to see to believe!
They make non-alcoholic beer.
I wish they made non-alcoholic uncle.
@davesawchuk A scientist who owns CitiBank AND has a glowing personality? Thst is some catch.
@shelldash The robot dog episode was a misstep, but 'San Junipero' was so good I'll give them a pass.
Anime is just a fancy way of saying you’d fuck a cartoon
It must be nice to have time to eat a pomegranate.
Oh wait... I get it, Central Perk, cause it's a coffee shop in NYC!!! Hahaha!! Anyway, your father & I have decided to try an open marriage
If I had to turn on the oven, it’s homemade.
I’ve got champagne taste on an anti freeze budget
Sorry I’m late, I was busy proving my existence to an automatic faucet again.
@toriestuff When you make a deal with the devil, there is a price.