SHANtilly Lace @theshantilly
I am many things, but I am nothing without sarcasm. twitter.com/search?f=tweet… Superman’s Kansas Joined April 2009-
Tweets26K
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Followers31K
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Following9K
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Likes98K
This entire day could've been an email.
Sorry I'm late. I had to scroll to my birth year on an app.
We all need something to look forward to, which is why I order things online.
Gen X’s grandparents made it through the Great Depression & WWII. Our parents - through the Cold War & cultural revolutions. We experienced 9/11. United. Rebuilt. This gen faces meme wars & the politicization of morality. But something tells me they’ll be up for the challenge.
me: I just don't have the mental energy to keep trying to fix you box of plastic wrap:
Dog: *barking incessantly at the door* Me (whispering): Okay, I think they’re gone. Dog:
Why pay a therapist to bring up hurtful shit every week when denial is free?
Now I understand why my Grandparents mumbled under their breath.
Then I can only conclude that the overwhelming majority of women I encounter, online and off, are thoroughly indecent.
Son: Mom, you always have an annoyed look on your face when Dad is talking. Other son: She always has that look on her face. Me: *annoyed look*……. Omg you’re right.
My mother said she expects to see all of you at church tomorrow.
Not looking forward to men in flip flops
"Uh oh." - first human to see the sun set
High School Science had me thinking I'd be performing a lot more surgeries on frogs.
President's Day is just a made up holiday to sell more presidents.
Someone told me I've gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I've never acted in my life. Until that moment.
When people say "if you know you know" I pretty much never know
Trey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1XBurning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
75K Followers 2K Following Smooth like nitroglycerin. Sidekick to @gingerhotdishBöb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.Ivsy @Ivsy01
40K Followers 9K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2kBoyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBVtazz @noneofyours99
85K Followers 46K Following Army Veteran, atheist, here to share some laughs, it's the universal language I ❤️Animals #supportmentalhealth squirrel mama ,wildlife rescue 🔥Memphis🔥Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2The Evolving Arm @leftarmisme
37K Followers 9K Following So it goes. Tweets👉 https://t.co/CJQMENmWqd @LuvPugFDN 👉https://t.co/WvSLwFgf9xStabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmoyour other mom @difficultpatty
37K Followers 963 Following Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://t.co/sVPCoTC4PwDan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
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55K Followers 50K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation. https://t.co/92vEozoAvoMarl @Marlebean
40K Followers 7K Following If you innocently act like you don't know, people will explain dirty words to you and it's hilarious.Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 @TheWinegasm
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844 Followers 822 Following 😬😬Tired of wars ,lying, and the MIC. Speaking out about truth justice and the American way. Always be kind and forgiving ,hug your kids everyday. Boomerus_Jasmine_ @usJasmine168198
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31 Followers 692 Following ALWAYS BE AN ISLAND OF CALM IN A SEA OF STORM.Eric @Eric04118716068
84 Followers 149 FollowingChris O'Connell @TopherOC
148 Followers 216 Following Old guy w/ a beard, tech exec, HS ⚽️ coach & die-hard Cubs fan in constant search of rare whiskey 🥃, good music 🎧 & the worlds’ finest dad joke 😆. Prov 11:17🇺🇸 Super Patrio.. @jleone3056
2K Followers 4K Following 2nd Generation 🇮🇹 Italian 🇮🇹 Navy Vet Voted for Trump twice (don't blame me). A single guy looking for a like minded woman, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN !!!!!Chic_Caroline @ChicCaroli60430
13 Followers 2K FollowingTrey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1XBurning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
75K Followers 2K Following Smooth like nitroglycerin. Sidekick to @gingerhotdishBöb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.Ivsy @Ivsy01
40K Followers 9K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2kBoyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBVtazz @noneofyours99
85K Followers 46K Following Army Veteran, atheist, here to share some laughs, it's the universal language I ❤️Animals #supportmentalhealth squirrel mama ,wildlife rescue 🔥Memphis🔥Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2The Evolving Arm @leftarmisme
37K Followers 9K Following So it goes. Tweets👉 https://t.co/CJQMENmWqd @LuvPugFDN 👉https://t.co/WvSLwFgf9xStabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmoyour other mom @difficultpatty
37K Followers 963 Following Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://t.co/sVPCoTC4PwDan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVphMarcmywords @Marcmywords2
55K Followers 50K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation. https://t.co/92vEozoAvoMarl @Marlebean
40K Followers 7K Following If you innocently act like you don't know, people will explain dirty words to you and it's hilarious.Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 @TheWinegasm
44K Followers 9K Following Just here for the fuckery. W⚓️. Mastodon @[email protected] bluesky https://t.co/4FkLoiwFo1Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
27K Followers 9K Following Gen X Superhero. Old people jokes for my old people followers. 90’s Kid Alumni. #cheeseburgersBrenden Dilley @WarlordDilley
109K Followers 375 Following 📽Host of The Dilley Show 12pm Eastern M-F📽 🔖Author of Still Breathin' The Wisdom & Teachings of a Perfectly Flawed Man 🇺🇸TRUMP 2024🇺🇸Savanah Hernandez @sav_says_
448K Followers 1K Following Sav with one “n” - Protest coverage - Political commentary - Proud American - Formerly 3x Banned On Twitter | Reporter with @TPUSA | Writer for @TPostMillennial1776 @TheWakeninq
51K Followers 224 Following 1776 ★★★★ a handsome and charismatic individual, is known for his exceptional intelligence and unwavering dedication towards his countryVictor Davis Hanson @VDHanson
536K Followers 41 Following Senior Fellow @HooverInst. Classics and military history. Opinions are my own.Santiago Pliego @SantsPliego
13K Followers 1K Following Ventures @NewFounding | Christian | 2x Founder | Fund: https://t.co/iRgGTslkDI | Vibe Shift: https://t.co/n9opqW5rVfTucker Carlson @TuckerCarlson
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191K Followers 163 Following An insider’s view on politics at home and abroad, while bringing back the lost art of disagreeing agreeably with @RoryStewartUK & @CampbellClaret 👇Dr Jordan B Peterson @jordanbpeterson
5.3M Followers 2K Following Best-Selling Author | Clinical Psychologist | #1 Education Podcast | Listen to the podcast here:Coleman Hughes @coldxman
350K Followers 903 Following Conversations w/Coleman Podcast | Forbes 30 Under 30 | Contributor at @theFP | Analyst at @CNN https://t.co/cwLQsfPK19Graeme Wearden @graemewearden
23K Followers 26K Following Business reporter and live-blogger at the Guardian 🖥🗒📈📉💷Chris O'Connell @TopherOC
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3K Followers 5K Following 🎹 James A. Norkawich | #Pianist, #Composer, Arranger & Producer | From #Jazz to Classical and R&B | Spreading joy & inspiration through music 🎶Jason Starr @JasonStarrBooks
101K Followers 109K Following Dad | Novelist | Comics creator📚 THE NEXT TIME I DIE, THE FOLLOWER etc SILICON BANDITS @GOTHAM @DCcomics @marvel WOLVERINE, THE PUNISHER, ANT-MAN, #KnicksJannine.. #MagaMemeQu.. @janninereid1
82K Followers 52K Following 🇺🇸 NUCLEAR MAGA MOM🇺🇸 They Live is the best 80's movie ever! #conservative fb @scottbaio & @DineshDSouza 𝕄𝕒𝕘𝕒𝕄𝕖𝕞𝕖ℚ𝕦𝕖𝕖𝕟 on Instagram👑👑Nate Armbruster @natecomedy
3K Followers 1K Following I like to write jokes. And tell those jokes to audiences in the form of stand-up comedy.Lance Said This @Lance_Said_This
3K Followers 2K Following Wrote for Rules of Engagement on CBS and then for Disney. Still a fun loving souse. I like crosswords and people who don't litter. Bsky & Insta: @ LanceSaidThisM͜͡&͜͡M͜͡ @TheSoulShadow
22K Followers 15K Following 🇺🇸🇮🇹🇱🇧/G\. 45. Dad. 🇺🇸Veteran. Capricorn. ISTJ. MDD. PTSD .Espresso, Cigars, and Scotch #YNWA #GoGators "Words woven into art, poetry writer's heart"-MMMumnipotent Ruler @MumOfTw0
4K Followers 1K Following Mum of 2 under 2 in 2022. Here for the laughs on all things parenting and marriage!Andrew Johnston @AndrewJ42984511
1K Followers 2K Following As long as a few are dedicated to conviction and courage, democracy stands a chance. Writer, critical thinker, musician. All views in my tweets are my own.HarrisonBergeron @thejaphyryder
2K Followers 2K Following Writer of things. Punk.last of the warrior poets.Not on your team.former D1 wrestler, CEO life sciences consulting firm,Gen X, Dad.Hubby. Go Blue!Matt Rife @mattrife
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15K Followers 8K Following ɪ 💖 @whatyadrinking_ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴇsᴇ's ᴘɪᴇᴄᴇs ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀ ʙʀɪsᴋᴇᴛ ᴡʀᴀᴘᴘᴇᴅ ɢʀɪʟʟᴇᴅ ᴄʜᴇᴇsᴇ ᴍᴀsǫᴜᴇʀᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ʟᴀᴅʏ ᴡʀᴇɴᴄʜ,ᴄʜɪᴇғs,ʀᴏʏᴀʟs,ᴏsᴜ & ᴊᴀʏʜᴀᴡᴋs ғᴀɴ ♡Enigma Inspiration @runrabbitrun070
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959K Followers 414 Following ☝🏼 It's pronounced Neeev - Host @catfishmtv - Writer @attn - In love with @LauraPerlongo he/him snapchat/instagram/facebook: nevschulmanDom Lucre | Breaker o.. @dom_lucre
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2K Followers 5K Following Mama Rita's/ KN-Gordon2010. Mom, comedian, for fun, Life is short so laugh,sing & dance, everyday should be celebrated 💙#mamarita4ever NO DMs/NEVER TRUMPAngie thinks ur amazi.. @angiethinksFFS
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443 Followers 434 Following The subtle art of winging fatherhood | Scared I might get dribbled onBrother Richard Staff.. @Richard09179317
9K Followers 7K Following only alive to serve God watch my story before you comment on any of my posts. thanks https://t.co/eQKOUITOHgRDMC STUCK @RdmcStuck
63 Followers 150 Following Just an Old school biker that loves his Celtic heritageMelanie @Imagecaptured
31K Followers 29K Following Failure is a result, not a cause. Never bow to the mob. 🇺🇸 🚫DM. itysl b̶r̶i̶t̶t.. @_maybe_not_ever
14K Followers 1K Following Reclusive . uncomfortable . godawful jokes . small & strange . quietly curious . perpetually pessimistic . comedy lover . full-time nobody . i have gray hairs .Dean Jolly - Author @author_jolly
2K Followers 5K Following | Author of Nirvana: A Tale Of Poets & The Beautifully Mad | Former Funeral Director | Bar Stool Philosopher | Beautifully Mad |Matty From The Nati @cincinnatimatty
1K Followers 2K Following Healthcare professional, horse racing aficionado/degenerate 'capper, former college grappler w no f#cks to give but full of righteousness & my own opinions.meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link belowGod is going to keep using the least likely characters to save this country. Are you going to follow HIS lead and be thankful for his mercy or criticize his tactics? Your call.
@WarlordDilley @GOPMajorityWhip Because it’s not their money
They sure did. As far as We The People .... "Let them eat cake!"
I can't believe I've reached 1 MILLION followers on X for simply saying men and women are different lol Thank you all for the support & encouragement. It means more than you could ever know. The job isn't done yet...onward!🩷
Wow, Bill Maher hits the bullseye 🎯
It turns out for pedophiles in Hollywood, "It's A Small World After All."
It turns out for pedophiles in Hollywood, "It's A Small World After All."
@cmclymer NPR is public funded, Fox isn't. Would you be ok with it if Fox was being financed with your tax dollars?
@cmclymer @NickJFreitas Ever heard of confirmation bias? That might be fine for MSNBC or FOX News but it shouldn't be happening on a publicly funded and thus publicly accountable venue. And it is.
That shade towards Kim is stupid. It’s been years and North being referenced is not cute. This actually makes Kim look like the bigger person. Is she not 34? I cant believe anyone has me defending Kim Kardashian.
Wow
Wow Signs in eight different languages advertising the free plane tickets for illegals in NYC!
Trump supporters chant “USA!” Biden supporters chant “Death to America.” Which ones are the threat to democracy?
Sorry I'm late. I had to scroll to my birth year on an app.
Democrats hate the fact that Conservatives gave me a platform and made it relevant. The fact that I go viral each day is proof that the racism they claim in this party don’t exist. I mean let’s be real look at me and how I carry myself. These ‘racist white folks’ have accepted…
We all need something to look forward to, which is why I order things online.