torie @torietorie__
my secrets for a buck Salt Lake City, UT Joined May 2016-
Tweets1K
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Followers99
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Following193
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Likes6K
*Walks into patient’s room & introduces self* “Wow, they gave me the goth social worker”
Bathroom selfie means @skidwillis took me to a nice dinner 🥰
torie retweeted
Thinking about Charlie the goat, who played Black Phillip in The Witch, and how handsome he is and how he was such a devoted method actor (read: an asshole) on set that now he is not allowed to work in show business and lives on a farm in North Carolina. We love you, king.
Fit check - running to McDonalds because DoorDash cancelled your cheeseburger combo
Requires (demands) a good back scratch while telling stories
I could never be a basketball player because no matter how much I got paid I’d still cry on the spot if thousands of people shouted “airball” at me.
torie retweeted
I tell my cat “I know” whenever he meows but I’ll be honest, I have no idea.
A bathroom selfie inspired by some Valentine’s Day cabernet sauvignon
torie retweeted
Me if I was Alice
Still my dishwashing buddy
Still my dishwashing buddy https://t.co/ZMsK8XqAzp
I often wonder what she’s seen in her past lives
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vigilante bitch @myvigilanteshit
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shirts that go hard @shirtsthtgohard
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60K Followers 84 Following Man, you want the dang ol' truth? Yep, I'll tell ya the lil dang ol’ truth.
“your frontal lobe finishes developing when you’re 25” okay well i’m still stupid so what now
i would never ask you to look between two letters babe ❤️ you stay here i’ll go figure this out for us
we can't let 600$ stand in the way of greatness
an album? sean kingston did all of this in “beautiful girls”
many of you would crumple under the pressure of having a cat that stares at you like this
She made us drinks To drink We drunk em Got drunk
me when i see another table get their sizzling fajitas
when I was like 7 at summer camp we would always make playdough with peanut butter, dried milk powder, and honey and i’ve never stopped thinking about it…… so fucking delicious… everyone else played with it but i would just eat it omg.. true culinary excellence
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