We feed our ancestors in Pitru Paksha. Who's looking after our parents while they're alive?
Every year during Pitru Paksha, we offer tarpan and pind daan to our ancestors. We cook their favourite food, feed the crows, and travel to Gaya, Haridwar and Badrinath so their souls find peace. It's one of the most beautiful ideas in our culture: that the ones who came before us are never forgotten.
But look at what's happening to the living.
India is ageing fast. According to UNFPA's India Ageing Report 2023, the share of elderly people is expected to rise from 10.5% in 2022 to 20.8% by 2050. The Longitudinal Ageing Study in India puts the number of Indians aged 60 and above at around 153 million today.
And many of them are struggling. HelpAge India's 2023 findings show nearly half of elderly people face emotional, physical or financial abuse, yet only 15% report it, out of fear and dependency. Most of the time, that abuse comes from within the family.
Even the support system is thin. India has fewer than 1,200 old age homes for more than 150 million senior citizens. So for every elderly person in an old age home, many more are simply left alone at home.
In Uttarakhand, we don't need a report to see it. We see it in every village. The number of ghost villages in the state has reached 1,792. In Tehri, Pauri and Almora, young people between 26 and 42 have moved out, leaving their elderly parents behind. In some villages, when an elderly person dies, there aren't even four young men left to carry them.
It's a strange contradiction. We'll spend thousands on shraddh after they're gone, but can't find time to sit with them while they're here.
Tarpan means offering water to quench the thirst of those who have left. But the thirst our parents feel today isn't for water. It's for company, respect and a little of our time.
The best tarpan is the one we offer while they're still alive to receive it.
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