Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222
Like a caterpillar that came out of its cocoon a shark, with a gun for a face Left. No, your other left... Joined May 2009-
Tweets10K
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Followers72
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Following59
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Likes916
If the recipe you posted doesn't have a "jump to recipe" button, I'm never ever going to make it. I dont give a rats ass WHY you made the dish.
Me to my husband: Look at this skunk video! Him: I wonder what it would be like to have a skunk as a pet Me: I either want a skunk or giant cat Him: Giant cat. Me: ok, but now I need $300 for the giant cat
To all the ladies out there, there is a difference between a man who is a narcissist and one that just doesn't like you
If you had told me 20 years ago, that I could tell my dad that I'm going to a weed festival, and he would be supportive about it... I would have assumed he was long dead and some new dad came along
You don't realize how drunk you are until you try to buy flamin' hot doritos at the gas station, to compliment your ranch salad from dions
Conversations in the lab: "Can I smell your cherry pie? "
The closest I get to God is seeing my favorite bands live.
Every time a bar guest develops a crush on me, I remind them that I have my dog's testicles in my freezer, bc I find it funny. #wetspecimen #balls #bartender #badassukrainianwomen
Wizard of Oz is on, and all I can think is "Man, that dog is super duper dead now"
Conversations at the lab: "...and if a lady gives you a jar of baby blood, you say THANK YOU"
I love that my husband is impressed by my plant obsession. He even promotes it. Meanwhile, with each plant I buy, I think I'm mentally spiraling further and further down a dark rabbit hole, to which I will stay forever. So thats neat.
"Make sure you tip the stripper with the c-section scar, cuz you know she has kids" -conversations in the lab
...A little hope it better than nothing, when you're running on hate like its love
Millennials turned chicken nuggets into boneless wings, Lunchables into charcuterie boards. So essentially, we're all still children?
Reason to kiss with your eyes open: Your mascara is still wet

Gloria C Mackenzie @GloriaCMac27413
48 Followers 703 Following I'm Gloria C Mackenzie the winner of $590,500,000.and I'm giving out $100k to the first 500 followers on my Twitter x dm if you are ready to claim 🇨🇦🇺🇸
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dude @ChrisGa58461713
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79 Followers 715 Following Alle nieuwe videos van ajax op het youtube kanaal ajaxlive10
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328 Followers 905 Following First and foremost I am a mother. I enjoy doing almost anything and always try to look for the positive in life. I've had my fair share of rock bottom but I a
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56 Followers 326 Following I'm crazy,funny,sometimes mean, happy, sad, a little wild, and I love my family, my friends and Music!! Wanna know anything else just ask :)
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272 Followers 702 Following professional at living life, party animal, all vol #VFL #RiseToTheTop
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Ryan Richardson @ryanr91
647 Followers 1K Following Born in Boston, die hard hockey fan. Graduate of the Zoolander School for Kids who can't read Good.
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575 Followers 678 Following I work in the music industry and run https://t.co/qGnTvvYF0s and cohost the Johnny and Shaner Punk Rock Dadcast.
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8 Followers 37 Following Fun loving 20 year old worker living in Scotland, PA. Can't get enough of potato chips, Sons of Anarchy, listening to Bobby Goldsboro and art.
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94 Followers 222 Following Heavy Rock and Roll from Arizona. Flying Scorpion's: The Best of Flying Scorpion - Vol I. ( Y ) out September 9th, 2017 https://t.co/VAhBr2NEbA
FCKH8.com @FCKH8
27K Followers 20K Following T-Shirts that speak out against Racism, Homophobia & Sexism! http://t.co/RD3lP1ehcb
JASON HUANG @jason__huang
241 Followers 1K Following Hi, I work at NEW YORK and love swimming in my leisure time. Hope to be friend with you.
newsmedica @newsmedica
87 Followers 257 Followingarda @live_in_harmony
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36 Followers 276 Following Director, Academic Advising, University of Oregon. Interests: advising technology, sustainability, sports,
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294 Followers 321 Following I love cooking Vietnamese food. I'll show you how, from My Vietnamese Kitchen!
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3K Followers 567 Following Preorder our new single ‘Now You Belong With the Dead’ on iTunes, link below!
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18K Followers 402 Following 2019 & 2023 Texas League Champions Double-A Affiliate of the @Dbacks
Noodles 🍜🎸🤓 @TheGnudz
17K Followers 8K Following Twitter has turned into a shithole because a spoiled brat nazi with more dollars than sense wants to be king of the world. I’m out.
Jeffree Star @JeffreeStar
6.1M Followers 3 Following Self-Made. Makeup Magician. CEO. Owner of Jeffree Star Cosmetics 💖
CavemanCoffee @CavemanCoffeeCo
9K Followers 343 Following Single Origin - Specialty Coffee - Coffee Subscription ☕️
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35K Followers 194 Following Collabs: [email protected] / VIP + GENERAL ADMISSION tix 👇🏻
Tim Siedell @badbanana
670K Followers 215 Following Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
Karen Barnhart @sefie01
11 Followers 44 Following Legos and Sharpies. That's all I need to survive in this crazy world.
Gringo Bandito Hot Sa... @GringoBHotSauce
6K Followers 258 Following #GringoBandito is the not-so-famous hot sauce created by Dexter Holland of punk band @Offspring.
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37K Followers 46 Following I once had a heart, now I have a song Debut Solo Album 'American Romance' out now. https://t.co/GAxo3rkjfW
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385 Followers 151 Following Education, outreach, rescue, rehabilitation, adoption, and networking. All for the LOVE of DOG!
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1.1M Followers 424 Following https://t.co/LG3KC8RHak • https://t.co/aCjpFLsw8F • Let Me In Your Window: https://t.co/HCIk9rB8Qd • Apparel Store: https://t.co/QLiV19eS8G
Justin @shitmydadsays
2.0M Followers 1 Following Author of Shit My Dad Says and, coming May 15th, my new book I Suck At Girls. My dad's in it, don't worry. This account is where I publish the shit that he says
Tendy’s @Wendys
3.7M Followers 456 Following We like our tweets the way we like our tendys: hot, crispy, and better than anyone expects from a fast food restaurant.
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438K Followers 471 Following Faith. Family. Sports. | @PollackFF | @familygoalspod | [email protected]
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775K Followers 655 Following CFB, tennis, soccer, music, etc. POD: "Fowler, Who You Got?" NEW! TENNIS LEGEND CHRISSIE EVERT Link ⏬
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135 Followers 44 Following Welcome to Villa Myriam, a family owned coffee hacienda in the green hills of Peindamo, Colombia! Come & try our amazing specialty coffee & talk to the roasters
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219K Followers 366 Following #54 Relief Pitcher and reliever of all that is dull and boring in life!!! Haha Live it up and thats whats up!!
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342K Followers 3 Following Oh, you have swag? I bet that looks great on a resume.
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32 Followers 108 Following Stuff about me! Video games, movies, work, life in general! Fun stuff!
wKwevin bananas @wKwevin
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Melissa Buchan @im2pa4u
4 Followers 20 Following Sometimes I just want to say things to people but I'm too polite to say them to their faces. So I say them here. To everyone.
Launchpad @LaunchpadABQ
4K Followers 54 Following Downtown Albuquerque's live music epicenter. See our website for schedule, tickets and more info.
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Flying Scorpion @_FlyingScorpion
94 Followers 222 Following Heavy Rock and Roll from Arizona. Flying Scorpion's: The Best of Flying Scorpion - Vol I. ( Y ) out September 9th, 2017 https://t.co/VAhBr2NEbA
The Offspring @offspring
282K Followers 593 Following Text: +1 (234) 601-3131 New album #SUPERCHARGED is out now ⚡️ Currently touring ✈️
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Primitive Reply Man @WontonPoop
392 Followers 1K Following doom/grind/black/death/musicals/jazz/banda guy whom love you. Iron Kids is a Bread Scene
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688K Followers 567 Following get the latest up to date nonsense related to the guy from that thing the one time
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Authority Zero @AuthorityZero
5K Followers 19 Following 🌵 Mesa, AZ 🧷 Arizona Punk Rock 🦨 Learn more about us at: