Joe Accetta @AccettaJoe

Great Expectations. Gettysburg College 2020 'Merica Joined July 2013

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Joe Accetta @AccettaJoe

5 years ago

Sometimes I get sad but then I remember I’m just playing a part written for me by the intergalactic screenwriters and I feel a bit better

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Joe Accetta @AccettaJoe

5 years ago

Life hack: instead of wasting all that time at the gym just get full arm sleeves and no one will notice your arms are tiny Bc they’ll be too distracted by your sick tats

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Joe Accetta @AccettaJoe

5 years ago

I wish inside jokes weren’t so exclusive sometimes I just want to share the good humor with everyone

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Joe Accetta @AccettaJoe

6 years ago

How long are you supposed to keep a greeting card until it’s socially acceptable to throw it away?

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Joe Accetta @AccettaJoe

6 years ago

Let’s give it up for sauces and condiments. They’re the unsung heroes of our daily meals

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Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious

6 years ago

for every 10 tweets you read it takes one book to regain the intelligence you lost

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Joe Accetta @AccettaJoe

6 years ago

“Where the hell am I gonna find homeless people?” “Not at Home I’d imagine”

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New England Patriots @Patriots

6 years ago

Congratulations to the greatest of all time.

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Joe Accetta @AccettaJoe

6 years ago

I didn’t go on twitter for a month and Bc of that missed a chance to be in the Wall Street Journal ffs (it’s not a fake account either)

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Also quitting the juul and going back to smoking cigarettes is one of the healthiest decisions I’ve ever made. I know that sounds dumb as fuck but trust me I feel so much better and I use 20x less nicotine a day

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Joe Accetta @AccettaJoe

6 years ago

All my life I thought being happy was so hard and then I realized all you really need to do is to be nice to people, go outside a lot, and exercise and you’ll be happy

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Joe Accetta @AccettaJoe

6 years ago

I think it says a lot about how desentized our society has become to white supremacy when domestic terrorists can storm the capitol building for the first time in 200 years and people just continue with their normal everyday lives like nothing happened.

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Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious

6 years ago

trump can nuke any country in the world but he can't play farmville

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Denzel Curry @denzelcurry

6 years ago

Nobody wants heroes until the world is over saturated with villainy

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Joe Accetta @AccettaJoe

6 years ago

It’s a Wonderful Life is simply the best Christmas movie of all time

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Joe Accetta @AccettaJoe

6 years ago

Great Reality Tv show idea: we free everyone incarcerated by the war on drugs and make them cops in high income neighborhoods. We could buy out cops in a 2 weeks

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Joe Accetta @AccettaJoe

6 years ago

People who talk about astrology inecessantly are the new “posting bible quotes on Facebook” generation. Sorry

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Joe Accetta @AccettaJoe

6 years ago

The only reason the GOP has stayed relevant the past 100 years is because most Americans are too dumb to know the difference between socialism and communism and the intellectual left has been too full of themselves to teach them