Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt

I'm a #husband, #father, #writer, #camper. #scifi #fantasy #satire #historicalfic. The many facets of me make me the me that I am. My tweets are my own. dreamthewrittenword.com Canada 🇨🇦 Joined January 2010

Tweets

2K
Followers

19K
Following

15K
Likes

8K

Jeras Ikehorn @JerasIkehorn

2 weeks ago

I’ll just leave this right here…👇 No other explanation necessary.

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Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt

2 weeks ago

Interviewer: Here's our panel discussion on gravity. On my left, the preeminent physicist Dr. B. Mass. Mass: We've discovered the first evidence for the graviton particle. I: Wonderful. On the other side we have day labourer Frank. Frank: I ain't never seen this gravy-ton.

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Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt

a month ago

Me: being off from school what did you do today? Youngest: Watched tv. Played video games. Me: I see. Youngest, feeling I was being judgemental: well it's better than what she did. (Referring to her older sister) Me: what did your sister do? Youngest: she stunk all day.

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Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt

2 months ago

This is an Albertosaurus. And would you believe this happens to be my favourite dinosaur?

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Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt

3 months ago

I am certain the Treaty of Versailles had less stipulations. And, clearly Rule 11 was nothing but a lie.

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Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt

3 months ago

The seething hatred between teenagers and winter boots continues unabated.

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Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt

7 months ago

Heard an energy propaganda commercial on an Ontario radio station paid for by the government of Alberta @YourAlberta. Perhaps spending that money on green energy initiatives would be wiser. Or maybe, spend it on public health to protect Alberta children from food borne diseases.

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Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt

9 months ago

What kind of gawd dang strawberries are they eating?!

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Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt

9 months ago

I find it funny that movie studios have opted to challenge the writers and actors unions. Challenge a group of people who write brilliant dialogue and another group of people that can deliver said dialogue with the greatest of gravitas? Yeah, I'm in, said the movie exec.

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Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt

10 months ago

Someone asked me if I wanted my kids to follow in my footsteps. I replied, they need to find their own hell, this is daddy's.

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Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt

10 months ago

You'd think with all that ignorance, they'd be more blissful.

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Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt

10 months ago

Onward and upward. On-where and up-how is anyone's guess.

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Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt

11 months ago

Would someone, somewhere, please think of the banks!

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Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt

11 months ago

It's ok that no one likes my tweets. I don't like em either.

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Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt

11 months ago

Whenever someone asks me something and I am sure of the answer, I reply "I believe so." When it turns out I'm wrong, which is usually the case, and the other person is angry I can then say, "I told you I believed it, not that it was a fact or anything." Always calms 'em down.