Albuquerque Gloop Shrine @AlbuqurqueGloop

Good morning Pilgrims of the Holy Gloop! Turn your eyes to the skies tonight to witness the constellation Boötes in the west. Home to the famous Boötes Void, be sure to remind yourself of the void in your heart, now filled by the All-Expansive Gloop. Have a slimy day!

Hey #Slimers! We’ve been hearing reports of greek yogurt being sold by the tubful as “Imitation Gloop” and we’d like to issue a PSA: there is no substitute for the One God, Uncontested in Viscosity. Anyone caught purchasing this heathen abomination is never welcome in our shrine.

A PSA for this weekend: if your Gloop is startled by fireworks or other loud noises, it is imperative to stay calm! Gently soothe your Gloop with classical music and a soft brush. If your Gloop gets aggravated, then… well, it’s already too late. Stay safe, slimers!

As we head into summer, please remember that Gloop hydration should ONLY be done with a neutral oil with a high smoke point like avocado oil or vegetable oil. Please try to avoid water except as a last resort. The last thing we want is an angry ooze!

Good morning #Slimers! We’ve heard stray rumors of some stray Gloop terrorizing small children on the streets. Just a friendly reminder to always keep your Parcel of God well-hydrated and properly satiated every day. Stay squishy! #BlessedByTheGloop

We’re saddened to hear of the ailments that have befallen @david_bburger and Kathleen’s grandson. Join us, squishers and slimers alike, to pray for Nathan’s healthy return to the Shrine of the Holy Gloop!

We’re glad someone’s been paying attention at Slime-day School! Join us at the Gloop Shrine to sign up for thorough lessons on how just one bathtub full of ooze can change your life.

David Bruensburger @david_bburger

3 months ago

We’re glad someone’s been paying attention at Slime-day School! Join us at the Gloop Shrine to sign up for thorough lessons on how just one bathtub full of ooze can change your life.

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@Hellishbabybat i am going to give my grandson the phone. he has been attending church since he was 5 #AlbuquerqueGloopShrine #PilgrimageToTheGloop #BlessedByTheGloop #ShrineOfSacredSquish #GloopBeUponYou #AlbuquerqueGlory #SquishwalkersUnite

How do you use your Gloop, fellow Slimers? Please reply and let us know how the Gloop has improved your life!

How will you celebrate #AlbuquerqueGloopDay fellow Slimers? I’m looking forward to a great day with my household batch of ooze!

We’d like to thank the grandson of our devoted Gloop Shrine attendee Kathleen for helping us set up our account on X — the everything app. If you’re interested in helping out the Shrine on the web or otherwise, please reach out to us!

Please join us in a Holy Sermon this Saturday at 3 AM at the Gloop Shrine. Be there or be dry!