An  Employee @AnAPPLEmployee

If you like Apple, then you’ll like me. If you don’t like Apple, then you aren’t thinking differently enough. Parody (according to Twitter). ⌘  Joined November 2020

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An  Employee @AnAPPLEmployee

2 years ago

I will be live tooting #WWDC23 over on Mastodon. Feel free to join me there: techhub.social/@anAppleEmploy…

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An  Employee @AnAPPLEmployee

3 years ago

See you there, nerds. apps.apple.com/us/app/ivory-f…

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An  Employee @AnAPPLEmployee

3 years ago

You can sideload this. 🖕🏻

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An  Employee @AnAPPLEmployee

3 years ago

Now the holidays will look as horrifying as they feel.

Parker Ortolani @ParkerOrtolani

3 years ago

Now the holidays will look as horrifying as they feel.

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An  Employee @AnAPPLEmployee

3 years ago

And we’re proud to charge $3000 for the first iPhone using these chips.

Tim Cook @tim_cook

3 years ago

And we’re proud to charge $3000 for the first iPhone using these chips.

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An  Employee @AnAPPLEmployee

3 years ago

This is exactly what you’ve all been wanting, right? We don’t need to release any other features or improvements for another couple years now, right?

The Verge @verge

3 years ago

This is exactly what you’ve all been wanting, right? We don’t need to release any other features or improvements for another couple years now, right?

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An  Employee @AnAPPLEmployee

3 years ago

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Amirite?

Basic Apple Guy @BasicAppleGuy

3 years ago

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Amirite?

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An  Employee @AnAPPLEmployee

3 years ago

“Unsubscribe” season is in full swing.

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An  Employee @AnAPPLEmployee

3 years ago

You’re telling me that haphazardly sticking a cheap marshmallow battery inside a device that lives on your wrist was a bad idea?

Joseph Cohen @josephcohen

3 years ago

You’re telling me that haphazardly sticking a cheap marshmallow battery inside a device that lives on your wrist was a bad idea?

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An  Employee @AnAPPLEmployee

3 years ago

Landscape dynamic island battery icon. 🍼 💊 🔋

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“The Verge reports that the USB-C implementation “is limited to USB 2.0 data speeds and 4K 30Hz (or 1080p 60Hz) external displays.” USB 2.0 data speed is 480Mbps, which, coincidentally, is the data speed of Lightning.” Tim. What the fuck. ☝🏻

Macworld @macworld

3 years ago

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An  Employee @AnAPPLEmployee

3 years ago

These are tumultuous times, my dear peasants. Keep your head level.

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An  Employee @AnAPPLEmployee

3 years ago

We had to raise prices because you dirty peasants weren’t acting peasantly enough.

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An  Employee @AnAPPLEmployee

3 years ago

Those bullies in Europe are forcing us to provide you peasants with a universal charging port and faster file transfer speeds on iPhones. I can’t believe they’re stifling our innovation like this. 😡