Those of you who follow New Mexico basketball may have noticed I haven’t been playing or anyone who knows me may have noticed I have been so distant from everyone and there is a good reason for that. I have struggled with depression off and on since high school. I was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety in 4th grade. I was put on medication to help with school and only took it during school (summers and weekends off) I was told my medication had a slight antidepressant in it. Since my depression wasn’t constant and would come and go my parents just helped me through it, thinking my medication would help. Last spring, after taking a medical redshirt, trying to recover from surgery, and learning how to balance school with a tough travel schedule my depression showed up in a big, bad, scary way! I went home after school got out, got into my doctor, and started on an antidepressant. I returned to UNM for summer and fall and killed it in practice. Was earning playing time and showing signs of having a great season. However, in late September I started spiraling into a dark place again. My coaches noticed a dramatic change. I would call me several times a day to my mom in just a complete meltdown. I couldn’t make it through a practice without breaking down in tears. I couldn’t function, stopped doing homework, lost interest in basketball, and was going down a dark path to the point where I was questioning if I should even be here. My coaches called my mom and said she needed to come and be with me. She was on a plane the next day and spent 4 days in Albuquerque. I went to see the team doctor and learned my ADHD medication and depression medication were canceling each other out. For about 6 months I wasn’t getting any medication. I got on a new medication that worked with my ADHD meds and got in with the sports therapist. Slowly but surely I started to feel like myself again. Then the start of the semester came and anxiety attacks kicked in. They would hit me out of the blue. They were almost crippling and exhausting. So back to the doctor I went and decided it was time to stop the ADHD meds - too much stimulation. Now I am about 2 months ADHD meds free. Grades are still good and I feel like myself again. I still take an antidepressant every day but I am in such a better place! Through all of this, I missed practices and games. My coaches, teammates and everyone involved in Lobo basketball put me in a protective cocoon and took great care of me and I couldn’t be more thankful for them. My coaches decided to limit me to make sure I was mentally healthy. I've handled it the best way possible and I understand their decision because I know what a dark scary place I was in. You change from here. I am so grateful that I reached out for help. I knew I could call my parents, coaches, and teammates at any time. Most people (young kids and young adults especially) don’t have that. Most don’t dare to reach out and ask for help. I hope someone reading this will see that it can happen to anyone, even kids who are living out their dreams. Everyone needs help at some point. So there it is. That is the big story and mystery as to why I haven’t been on the floor and why I have been so distant from everyone. I have accepted that I have an invisible injury that I am fixing and is well on the mend! I will be back in a Lobo jersey next year! -BA1
@AppelhansBraden This is awesome to be so brave to share. Thank you 👏
@AppelhansBraden First of all, I am glad you’re in a good place right now. Secondly, thank you for your bravery and putting it out there regarding what depression and anxiety can do to you. You are a brave, young man and you will do great things… stay strong.
@AppelhansBraden Powerful words man. As someone who deals with anxiety, depression, and depersonalization I can attest to how much being forward and open about mental health can help. You’re never alone. ✊🏽
@AppelhansBraden I hope you come back and get to live your dream out. Depression ADHD and anxiety suck, I can relate to you with that. There are many things more important than sports and mental health is one of them
@AppelhansBraden As someone who goes through anxiety and depression I feel for you man. And honestly thank you for coming out and admitting this because a lot of people are scared to do that. Continue your progress bro and you just got made a new fan. One love
@AppelhansBraden WOW! Your strength and bravery in sharing your story is absolutely amazing. As a mom to a daughter that struggles with anxiety & depression, I really appreciate you sharing. Thank you so much. Sending you, your mom, and your entire support system so many hugs. <3
@AppelhansBraden Huge fan. My wife suffers from ptsd, anxiety and depression. It can be brutal. Take care of yourself off the court first. Listen to your therapist. Find someone close that will just listen to you. Sometimes that you need. No one can fix you. They can guide you. 🙏🏻 4 U
@AppelhansBraden I don’t know you and I just stumbled across this but thank you for your raw & authentic story! Depression and anxiety are difficult to navigate and I’m super proud of you for sharing!