Frederick Forsooth @AwkwardProse
Author (as yet unpublished) of Thrillers, Historical romps, Sci-fi, Chick Lit & many other genres. Dear Editors, I present some examples of my craft herewith. goo.gl/8k24e Writ large twixt life's pages Joined October 2011-
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Frederick Forsooth retweeted
Wow! Been hired to bake a 1:1 scale cake of The Shard using only Martian rock dust, Ovaltine and Oxo. Sourcing some ingredients from NASA.
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My new 'one stop shop' cross-genre fantasy trilogy mash-up e publishing phenomenon is available here and now. goo.gl/8k24e
Ser Mogron donned his suit of armour. "Beggar this game of thrones," he snarled, before going out to slash some knights to shreds and that.
*SELF PROMOTION KLAXON* A very rough fantasy parody here. awkwardprose.tumblr.com
Santa fed his reindeer sighing. With the new austerity measures one was for the knacker's yard, but which? Merry Christmas lads he sobbed.
*It was the best of times it was the worst of times* Dickens tore the paper from his dot matrix printer. "No no no! That's crap! opined he.
The silver craft hovered above my car and I looked upward. Suddenly a window wound down. "Here mate, where's Tescoses?" probed an Alien.
"What man among us has not looked deeply into his soul and questioned his own shortcomings. His very own being, and shit?" asked the Sage.
The Mother Superior removed her wimple and mopped her bedewed brow. "All that praying has me knackered, love," she told the Novice.
The ground far below sped by like ground speeding by far below. Then suddenly Santa stopped. "Cah! A punctured reindeer!" he grumbled.
Santa looked at his 56 inch waist "Bollocks!" He needed to enrol at Fitness First tout suite if he was to get down any chimneys in 3 weeks.
Things were going better than he could've dreamt. He was reunited with Julie and had eradicated a nasty outbreak of aphids on his begonias.
"All rise!" boomed the clerk "So what's the word guys?" asked the Judge "Pfft! It's well hard to know who's a fibber" verdicted the Foreman.
Mysterious lights traversed the dawn sky - unseen and somewhere in a forest a tree fell narrowly missing a butterfly flapping its wings.
"You paddled a canoe at the Olympics so we'd like to knight you," said Her Majesty. "This is a wind-up, right? It's gotta be," he replied.
"We are not dumbing down this channel. Why next week 'Katie Price's Fit Blokes of World War II' starts!" insisted the Controller.
The Judge set down his quill and looked over his glasses at Parker. "You are a right evil shite bag and you're going down for a 10 stretch."
"There aren't enough TV reality shows so I've been thinking *King Maker* does what it says on the tin," said Prince Charles to Simon Cowell.
The Caveman emerged from his cave sniffing the air. Somebody nearby was preparing roast pterodactyl and chips and he hadn't eaten for days.
Dear reader my apologies for earlier cock-ups, find now my extended epic here. I give you Lords of the Deathly Goblet bit.ly/w1MHBi
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