Narwhal Conquistador @Awkward_Spider
Photography Student, Odd Coworker, Spooky Girlfriend, Amazing Comic facebook.com/StephanieKParks Texas Joined June 2012-
Tweets1K
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Followers31
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Following92
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Likes488
pettyrevenge: Apple Stores aren’t your typical retail store. We have revered customer service, but... tmblr.co/Zs4gRu22NlMgl
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pettyrevenge: Old People Restaurant Scam. You know the scam. Whine about perfectly good food to get some... tmblr.co/Zs4gRu22NkD9R
dannyboy227: Me: “This item didn’t scan let me jus…” Customer: “ITS FREE!!!!” Me: tmblr.co/Zs4gRu221On1r
misscatholmes: Ya know its funny, I watch all these 50’s short films and they all seem to treat those who... tmblr.co/Zs4gRu1_pxKYk
Narwhal Conquistador retweeted
#ActionMoviesTaughtUs when men go without resources, they grow scruffy, but women remain hairless and somehow hotter.
Narwhal Conquistador retweeted
@whereisnatasha #ActionMoviesTaughtUs that a plus-sized female hero, is only used for 'comedic relief'
Narwhal Conquistador retweeted
THERE ARE TEN THOUSAND OF US NOW WHAT THE HELL
Narwhal Conquistador retweeted
now that the phrase 'you fight like a girl' is officially dead we can probably start using 'you fight like a pancake'
Narwhal Conquistador retweeted
confession: i've never purchased sunscreen in my life. i just borrow it from family members and people i rub against in the subway
Narwhal Conquistador retweeted
looking forward to the day i'm finally eccentric enough to carry an umbrella in the sun
Narwhal Conquistador retweeted
hard boiled or scrambled, that is the queggstion
@HollyGoNightly1 God, that legit made me laugh out loud
Narwhal Conquistador retweeted
You look like the kind of person who would have a lot of moisture in your asscrack #BillingsMontana #WorstChildhoodRumors #EatMyPooBitch
Have you ever stood in front of a mirror and jiggled your butt just to watch the massive tsunami waves? This must be what Jesus felt like.
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