@BSFA So Andromeda Trip Advisor now says you shouldn't eat the hotel maid until after they make the bed. Whoops!
@BSFA Zeeglak had struggled to decide which parts of Earth to destroy first, but luckily the humans were helping. This thing called Twitter was really good for identifying targets.
@BSFA ETinder could be really frustrating. Too many tentacles - swipe left Not enough tentacles - swipe left Too blue - swipe left Ooh nice shade of orange - swipe right!
@BSFA Oops. Forgot to set up my “out of office.” Don’t want people thinking I’m being rude and not replying while I’m on holiday conquering this puny planet.
@BSFA I refute these underpants rumours!
@BSFA “Check out is at noon … is the invasion at 1:00 or 2:00? Do I have time for lunch?”
@BSFA "Voted for Trump ...Swipe left."
@BSFA Goodbye Green Monday
@BSFA I assure, Z%!<>U()@ is a valid postcode! I just want on the hotel WiFi!
@BSFA Caller: “FFS, Eric. It’s supposed to be the background! How are we going to conquer that planet if you can’t even get the green-screen instructions right.”