We had been trying to get pregnant for a few years. We were overjoyed when we found out the good news.
The OB/GYN did an ultrasound. He looked distressed. He compassionately gave us the heartbreaking news. Our unborn child had no heartbeat. He explained, it was necessary to have something he called a D&C. This, he explained, was critical for my wife’s health.
He sent us directly to a hospital. They were waiting for us. As I was helping my wife put on a hospital gown, we believe she started to miscarry.
That day is a traumatic blur. After we returned home from the hospital, we curled up on the sofa and cried together, silently, for hours.
What I know now is, a D&C is a medical procedure — also known as an abortion. I now understand how abortion is healthcare. I also realize, now, we were actually lucky.
We were lucky to live in a state where abortion in legal. We didn’t have to wait until my wife’s life was in imminent danger, or where sepsis irrevocably damaged her reproductive system. We also didn’t have to drive to another state.
Several years later, we scraped every dollar we had, borrowed more, and paid a wonderful IVF doctor. IVF was a roller coaster ride of tests, procedures and emotions.
My wife bore the brunt. Invasiveness. Injections. Discomfort. She never complained.
After months of procedures, we achieved around 8 fertile eggs. Our doctor implanted two and we froze the others.
We were on pins and needles when we went to our first ultrasound. Hoping for the best, but prepared for the worst. We now have a healthy, kind and intelligent daughter. She is the most amazing kid.
I realize, now, we were so lucky to use IVF when we did, because the ChristoFascists are now trying to make IVF illegal too. After they ban abortions & IVF, they’re coming after birth control next.
Guys … this isn’t just a women’s fight. This is our fight too. We have wives, significant others, sisters & daughters. We have an obligation to fight with them.
@BrockWolf6 Exactly. We are sorry for your loss and pain—and glad for the IVF success. My wife and I went through the roller coaster of IVF difficulties, only to have 28 years of triplet magic. Three college grads and public servants: nurse, law enforcement, doctor. Shame on republicans.
@BrockWolf6 I’m sorry for your loss but that is not true that they are going after IVF. Stop watching the news!
@BrockWolf6 I have a 16 year old son via IVF, born was I was nearly 40, after years of trying, and after having had an abortion for very personal reasons 20 years prior. I too have thought the same re: how grateful I am that we still had a sane (relatively..) country when I had CHOICES.
@BrockWolf6 IVF is not in danger. Makes me wonder about the veracity of your story.