i'd like to formally apologize to graham linehan for insinuating he eats alone at restaurants in my upcoming song (table for one). it's recently come to my attention they won't take his reservations due to harassment of staff, and i fully retract my song due to release soon.
@CaelanConrad One of the servers looked a bit square jawed for a lady so he called the police!
@CaelanConrad Will be excited for the sequel “Table for One: Eating for Two”
@CaelanConrad A man walks into a bar - that man isn't Graham Lineham as he has been banned from entry.
@CaelanConrad I didn't think "quietly sobbing into a Lean Cuisine" was a strong enough concept to carry a song but we might have a whole album on our hands at this rate
@CaelanConrad Looking forward to your rendition of „TV Dinner in front of the TV“ 😝
@CaelanConrad Here in America, we don't have to stop saying mean, but hilarious and true things about UK bigots. However, plucking fruit that hangs so low you could be forgiven for thinking you've discovered a new, hideous potato cultivar, does tend to get boring quickly.