Cantaloupe News @CantaloupeNews
Your Trusted Source for Political Satire | Like an onion, only sweeter™ Pronouns: messed/up Parody, USA Joined May 2018-
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🚨 BREAKING: DOJ says they will be extraditing January 6 detainees to face trial in Ukraine.
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BREAKING: President Biden says he was eaten by cannibals several times when he was exploring Africa with Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding.
BREAKING: The Republicans who voted against the aid bill will be charged with treason against Ukraine.
🚨 USAF F-35s scrambled after "credible threat" that hackers are targeting President Biden's teleprompter. "This is a serious national security issue - those hackers can make him say anything," a Pentagon official said on condition of anonymity.
BREAKING: Travelers are panicking over news that American Airlines just purchased $20 billion worth of duct tape.
BREAKING: Judge Merchan slams President Trump for not supplying prosecutors with evidence against him.
BREAKING: Harvard University announces new accounting degree for women who are not as smart as male accountants. It will be called the WMBA.
BREAKING: AOC calls for legislation to force Americans to watch WNBA games so the players can be paid more.
📦💻 Can someone please help us understand these Lenovo shipping options? We're particularly curious about the free next business day option that costs $49.99.
BREAKING: After Trump's warm reception in Harlem today, Judge Merchan forbids him from speaking to any Black people.
🚨 BREAKING: Trump found in contempt after leaving the courtroom toilet seat up.
REMINDER: Just because you might be confused about your gender doesn't mean you should start slicing off parts of your body. Just wait a minute and you'll probably figure it out.
JuliaKelsen @W68GkR76R1rlzv9
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Tiffany Guthrie @TiffanyGut15702
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megaschlong @Michacun20
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Taffy 3 @BigRedOne1991
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PoolCagePro "Alan" �.. @poolcagepro
262 Followers 830 Following Complete Pool cage painting, restoration and pool enclosure rescreening. Old screen and spline removed. heavy power wash, sand, Paint with Sherwin and new doors
TXnCAGirl 🌬🌪�.. @nancyhomeseller
650 Followers 2K Following In CA fr TX, NM, Oahu, TX, New Orleans, CA (Navy Vet Family). Proud Conservative. God Bless the USA. Pronoun: Mom #MAGA 🙏🙏🇺🇸🙏🙏
Jessica haselby @Ethery8
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West Canyon Road @WestCanyonwalk
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Roxo @RocksoRoxo
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Shalom Wise. 🇨🇦.. @ShalomWise
322 Followers 1K Following Husband & father. 🇨🇦 citizen. CO2 isn't pollution. Main threats to West: dei-ideology, islamist-ideology, & totalitarian govt. Make 🇨🇦 & 🇺🇲 great again!
MAGA Whiny B*!ch 🇺.. @momofwjmj
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Doug Price @HandsLikeFeet
77 Followers 191 Following Christian, Husband, Dad, somewhat of a realist...
Jacob Barham @jakebarham24
250 Followers 431 Following April Barham 💍 | USD Alum ‘20 | Oregon Law ‘24
Ed Martin @EagleEdMartin
28K Followers 17K Following President Phyllis Schlafly Eagles, Radio host #ProAmericaReport, Daily WYNK 🇺🇸 https://t.co/0KwTskubXD, DMs open
VisionQuest42 @VisionQuest42
164 Followers 722 Following
𝕏 Horton 𝕏 @is_horton
3K Followers 4K Following I translate headlines for you because #JournalismIsDead. If you find me offensive, then I suggest that you stop finding me. #Sarcasm #Comedy #Satire
Tashi Duncan's little.. @PETEandrepete_
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Fletch @Fletche97083235
196 Followers 174 Following Bill of Rights, esp 1A and 2A; free market; no cashless society, no way; your skin color is irrelevant to me; my real account is locked down
Baneironhand @baneironhand
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Andrew McAlister @AndrewMcAlist16
47 Followers 164 Following
For The Life of Tree @ForTheLifeofTr1
141 Followers 604 Following
Courtland Martens @Courtland_IRL
387 Followers 159 Following Comfort is a slow death. #Trump2024 🇺🇸 I Support 🇮🇱 and it’s right to exist! CrossFit Dad
Fupacabra420 🍿🎮.. @fupacabra420
3K Followers 5K Following 2 yr + & holding! #LFG 8.01 Vet👊🦍❤ AMC GME HYMC DOGE 🦍Here for the Ape fam👊🦍❤ Nothing on my page is financial advice. I just like the stock.🤷♀️
Leslie Stratten @stratten_leslie
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CavsForTheWin @ScottWi23694014
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nobody @srsrobin
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Mike F @flaz79TA
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SeeLight @SeeLight399563
274 Followers 724 Following
jackhand @jackhand
230 Followers 153 Following I am a computer engineer currently working on the Roku platform.
🍩K@P🏐 @jeff_portis
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American Patriot @BuyMoreAmmo1776
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Apples of Gold Jewelr.. @aogjewelry
31K Followers 22K Following 🇺🇸 ✞ CEO of Apples of Gold Jewelry. #MAGA #Gold #Jewelry #Crosses #Christian #Engagement #Wedding #Gemstone https://t.co/wAL2BPzGdD
Quentin @Quentin__France
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Savid Dacks @SavidDacks88
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Jim Thomas @JimThomas729193
208 Followers 118 Following
response09 @response09
4K Followers 5K Following I'm Pro-life, Pro-Justice, I defend the Constitution, love America and swore to defend it. Let's unite #MAGA Patriots No follows up to less than 15, sorry
DarlaMara2 @DarlaMara2
271 Followers 618 Following I love God, my family, and the USA. Ultra MAGA IFBAP Starting again after being nuked.
Gretchen's Resurrecti.. @MikeWWilkins1
35 Followers 186 Following They haven't found a way to kill me yet. Back after a lengthy "hiatus" imposed by the previous Twitter Reich. I breathe GREAT! Boston Brookline
@leelu_san @leelu41072492
233 Followers 833 Following “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might." - Ephesians 6:10
bondo @maryBondo10
352 Followers 2K Following MAGA - Had to start over AGAIN; follow me back pls- Evil is real & Johnny Cash is a legend
libsrcancer @ChrisFairfield
4K Followers 4K Following Jesus first. Patriot,proud deplorable listless MAGAT,Pro life, pro God,pro family,pro 1A 2A🇺🇲 America first.🇺🇲DJTstillprez🇺🇲 #2020electionstolen.
Novel Gal @novelwritergal
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Don @caseahawk64
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KD MAGA @doyle4614
3K Followers 5K Following MAGA! Now more than ever! Trump 2024!! BELIEVE! ☘️ Huge Tucker Fan! DRAIN the SWAMP! ❤️ 🤍💙
WokelyCorrect Comics @WokelyCorrect
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RNC Research @RNCResearch
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SwiftOnSecurity @SwiftOnSecurity
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Kyler Finney @KylerFinney
161 Followers 28 Following Certified Silly Goose | Co-Producer on “The Bottom” | Bailiff on JUDGED | My mom’s favorite comedian | Follow on IG @KylerFinneyComedy
Batya Ungar-Sargon @bungarsargon
127K Followers 1K Following Opinion Editor @Newsweek. Author: "Bad News: How Woke Media Is Undermining Democracy" & "Second Class: How the Elites Betrayed America's Working Men and Women"
Tyrus @PlanetTyrus
655K Followers 5K Following #NuffsaidTyrus new book Comes out in November pre order now! #JustTyrus book 1. click my link! order now! https://t.co/Iaa93RK3Ch husband to @ingridrinck
Associated Fress @AssociatedFress
6K Followers 14 Following Jewish News Headlines You Can't Trust. See pinned tweet for information on the secret cabal behind this account.
Matt Walsh @MattWalshBlog
2.8M Followers 635 Following Theocratic fascist, bestselling children’s author, America’s highest legal authority
Kato Kaelin🇺🇸 @Kato_Kaelin
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Marjorie Taylor Green.. @MTGrepp
213K Followers 278 Following Want to take back OUR country? JOIN ME 🇺🇸 Donald Trump won🥇Proud Patriot. Pro Elon Musk (parody)
Roman Sharf | CEO of .. @romansharf
16K Followers 15 Following Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence, and my sense of humor… It's my modesty that really stands out. 🎥 Watch #GreyMarket on YouTube
James Taranto @jamestaranto
60K Followers 148 Following Editorial Features Editor, in charge of @WSJ op-ed pages. Best of the Web columnist 2000-17. Pu.
Donald J. Trump 🇺�.. @DonaldTNews
496K Followers 7K Following I Follow Back All Patriots! 🇺🇸 Tap the (🔔 +Notify) to Assure You Get Breaking News Daily! No Affiliation.
Alex Jones @RealAlexJones
2.3M Followers 692 Following Tomorrow's News Today: https://t.co/SyCUJ97GDw | Please support our sponsors: https://t.co/CA0C06rhXQ & https://t.co/CJxSZou17F
Donald J. Trump Posts.. @TrumpDailyPosts
463K Followers 12K Following Trump Posts From Truth Social & More So They Can Be Shared With Millions On X. Make Sure To Tap (🔔Notify+) So Tweets Cannot Be Suppressed. No Affiliation.
Darwin Awards 🤦�.. @DarwinAwards_
250K Followers 28 Following All posted content is owned by their respective owners. * DM us for removals or submissions (PARODY)
Mosab Hassan Yousef @MosabHasanYOSEF
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Jay Engelmayer @jengelmayer
15K Followers 2K Following Father/Husband/🇮🇱Zionist/Jew/🇺🇸Patriot; Founder, Publisher ‘The Judean’ - Lux Veritatis Ad Orbem; "From The River To The Sea, Israel Is Truly Free"
Red 🇺🇸 @RedheadinNYC
4K Followers 5K Following Rivka #AmericaFirst 🇺🇸 Founder largest Conservatives&Republicans club on Clubhouse @ConservativesCH ask the left #WhatAboutUs עם ישראל חי🇮🇱Telegram: RivkaK
Trey Yingst @TreyYingst
442K Followers 3K Following Foreign Correspondent: @FoxNews #FreeEvanGershkovich
Eric Trump @EricTrump
4.4M Followers 1K Following Executive Vice President of The @Trump Organization. Husband to @LaraLeaTrump. Large advocate of @StJude Children's Hospital @TrumpWinery #MakeAmericaGreatAgain
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James O'Keefe @JamesOKeefeIII
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Clown World ™ 🤡 @ClownWorld_
2.4M Followers 502 Following Official #ClownWorld ™ 🤡 #NoCaptionNeeded ** DM us for removals/credit
Sir Doge of the Coin .. @dogeofficialceo
273K Followers 530 Following Protector of Coin 🐶🪙 Self-proclaimed king of memes 👑🇮🇪
Community Notes @CommunityNotes
934K Followers 0 Following Empowering users to create a better-informed world. We're open source and data is publicly available: https://t.co/Te3IjR10Ix Q? Reply/DM
MERICA MEMED @Mericamemed
19K Followers 395 Following Lump me in as a Libertarian Conservative | Defender of liberty and individual rights. Resisting expansion of government while advocating for personal freedom.
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Roger Stone @RogerJStoneJr
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