Jeff Michael @CaptainDecoy
Be ready to fight to the death anyone who wants you to live the way their god says they should, because sooner or later you’ll have to. Flourtown PA Joined April 2010-
Tweets21K
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Followers181
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Following683
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Likes2K
This guy has a 'university'.
This guy has a 'university'.
"You used to turn on your TV and there'd be shows on! At regular times! None of all this streaming, on-demand stuff! If we missed it, we missed it--and we LIKED it! Flibble dee flee!"
"You used to turn on your TV and there'd be shows on! At regular times! None of all this streaming, on-demand stuff! If we missed it, we missed it--and we LIKED it! Flibble dee flee!" https://t.co/sfzr3VbyNJ
#mlbcentral new opens: A less creepy (or maybe more!) Freakout Factor Deep Dives with the new and improved @markdero7 physique D-List with a vest that fits, and without the “glasses are for nerds” subtext because it cuts a little too close to home now @RoFlo @LaurenShehadi
Sausage touching? Combining loins? I don’t think my mom is gonna let me watch #mlbcentral anymore. @markdero7 @LaurenShehadi @RoFlo
Terrible people are terrible. Film at 11:00.
Terrible people are terrible. Film at 11:00.
Do the X-Men cast still play baseball in their yard sometimes? Or just go into NYC for a fun night? They don’t, do they? cbr.com/x-men-charles-…
Know that to her chosen tribe, that is a selling point. The more evil, the better, because of liberal tears or something. Know your enemy.
Know that to her chosen tribe, that is a selling point. The more evil, the better, because of liberal tears or something. Know your enemy.
They are so far gone into madness that what you describe is the opposite of a disconnect: it is a huge win and will endear her to MAGA Nation just for how much it will own the libs or whatever. The @GOP is rabid. Full stop.
They are so far gone into madness that what you describe is the opposite of a disconnect: it is a huge win and will endear her to MAGA Nation just for how much it will own the libs or whatever. The @GOP is rabid. Full stop.
It's utterly insane, yes. Irrational. Mad. But it's where we are. God only knows how we got here. Was there something that happened ten years ago that started warping minds--some chemical release or something? I don't remember. But...here we are.
It's utterly insane, yes. Irrational. Mad. But it's where we are. God only knows how we got here. Was there something that happened ten years ago that started warping minds--some chemical release or something? I don't remember. But...here we are.
Kristi Noem wondered what the joke was. And definitely didn’t buy the magazine.
Quincy, who rubbed his nose raw in the shape of a heart while digging in the yard. Thought about shooting him but then remembered I am not a psychotic monster.
He totally deked @TMacPhils! 🤣
He totally deked @TMacPhils! 🤣
I fuckin’ dare ya to find THAT card in a Hallmark store!
I fuckin’ dare ya to find THAT card in a Hallmark store!
This Kristi Noem shit…I mean, these guys don’t even know what to lie about anymore. Or worse, the lying model has flipped 180 degrees to the point where they have to keep feeding a deranged constituency that screams for blood and chaos.
Hey Siri, show me what ‘simp’ means. It had to have been embarrassing for @kaitlancollins to watch a grown man roll over and whimper so nakedly.
Hey Siri, show me what ‘simp’ means. It had to have been embarrassing for @kaitlancollins to watch a grown man roll over and whimper so nakedly.
Kristi Noem is a dirtbag and a monster…and that lead to UPWARD movement in the @GOP. If ever there was a group of people that needed to take a long hard look at themselves…
Whoa, whoa, whoa—did #MLBTonight just suggest that #MLBCentral is a league BELOW #MLBNow? @RoFlo @markdero7 @LaurenShehadi
This menthol cigarette flap is spectacular. It absolutely 100% reaffirms my unshakable faith in the absolute all-pervasive awfulness of humanity.
This menthol cigarette flap is spectacular. It absolutely 100% reaffirms my unshakable faith in the absolute all-pervasive awfulness of humanity.
John Kruk's Airtag @JohnKrukAirtag
16 Followers 178 Following Why is TMac the keeper of my Airtag? #Phillies
Angkasa @Angkasa785236
39 Followers 266 Following Looking for a Clothing brand or Fashion Company name? After research, we came up with the Creative Fashion brand name that makes your business a brand.
Seappeseigh @seappeseig60612
0 Followers 74 Following
Korbin Mendoza @KorbinM52608
85 Followers 3K Following
Anna Carlin @Anna321Carlin
76 Followers 249 Following
Home Decor Delights @FavDecor
655 Followers 1K Following Best decor, furniture, and accessories to fit your style. Daily selected Amazon product links with over 4.5 ⭐ and 🆙
Carmelita 😜 @Carmelita3550
3 Followers 230 Following Tеmpting sеduсtress with а hungеr for intimаte сonnесtiоns
Adelaide 💋 @Adelaide2684
38 Followers 812 Following Sensual siren cаptivаted bу hеr insаtiаble сrаvings
_SoulRae @SoulRae240914
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Cloud @Cloud7558526248
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Shaniya Carter @carter_sha28991
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Latrice Campbell @LatriceCam466
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Mary @roundtree_mary3
189 Followers 3K Following
Elon R Musk (Parody) @elonmusk77701
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CalvinGunyan @CalvinGuny41964
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Giselle Ritter @RitterGise61029
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Lue @Lue1017402
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Kathy @kathy_jose6
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Jill Macpherson @jill_macph50982
116 Followers 3K Following
blusqueen @BlusqueenCindy
1K Followers 2K Following Philly 💪🏻 Mom/Nan, gardener, friend, lover, confidant, partner in crime extraordinaire. Blue 🌊 all the way. NOLA is in my ❤️ my soul n my🩸🚫 DM’s
Jacquelyn @fountainjacquel
246 Followers 3K Following
dustin elias @dleeelias
8 Followers 96 Following
Michelle Washington @MWashingto19360
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Sharon @baugussharon42
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Ursula @ursula79cole
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chris jones @MandyRose211469
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Carolyn @carolyn_newton_
185 Followers 3K Following
Anna Elizabeth @di_zhera
31 Followers 264 Following Owner of beauty salon and partnership business in clothing. If I were you, I would totally adore me. #fashion # motivated #naturelover🚫NO Porns
Maltz @TJJcYDBXpn5fkng
2K Followers 3K Following
Elizabeth @Elizabe73317126
4 Followers 92 Following
Oliver76 @Oliver7616
27 Followers 697 Following
Sunucha @kayhallesq
1K Followers 5K Following Focused, Blessed, Committed to Achievement. Happy Pappy. Turks Head Native. Proud Hoya and Owl. #Birds sycophant.ΚΑΨ 👌🏾.
Magic Mojo Ike @mojoikewoods
2K Followers 4K Following Blues/Jazz Guitarist, Singer/Songwriter, Grammy nominated recording artist... The legendary “Mojo” Ike Woods! 🎵🎶🎤🎸
Paul Devine ($8) 🇺.. @ManSpanx
544 Followers 883 Following New home on Threads: _ paul_devine_ #StandWithUkraine
kenn kweder @KwederKenn
38 Followers 34 Following
Carlos Stivers @CarlosStivers
97 Followers 324 Following #9 of 10, retired guerrilla social worker, unapologetic golfer
Curt Flood, Jr. @curtfloodjr
3K Followers 791 Following chair, https://t.co/Q5EOSsi7EC / co-producer, https://t.co/50y5qmVFp4 / advisor, @WomensAudio Mission (WAM) #philanthropy ops=mine
Liv @ollie_babey
6 Followers 100 Following
Brandi Urban @BrandiUrban2
189 Followers 402 Following I love New upcoming artists,but I certainly don't forget about the greats that have paved the WAY I am working on a documentary about the homeless.. God first!!
John Carson @johncarsonjr
197 Followers 496 Following Blues/Rock influenced Guitarist/Singer/Songwriter.
Into The Weird @IntoWeird
11K Followers 5K Following Sinking into the weird since 2018. Lover of comics, cult cinema, fear fiction, sci-fi art, mythology & twisted history. Alternate a/c @darklongbox
Alex White - Commodit.. @the_adenoid
846 Followers 2K Following Free Jazz Tuba Ableton Tubaton Abletuba
Bryan Chandler/Super .. @bryan__chandler
402 Followers 3K Following Last account banned 4 'bullying' the Aussie PM. I write most downvoted My Little Pony fic in existence: https://t.co/zhOXcQBPrD Memes Music Ponies Politics (He/Him)
Brenda @BaconKohler
173 Followers 478 Following ur avg gender fluid crab. I don’t eat bacon but share plant-based food with me and I will follow you around. she/he/they 🦀♋️
Deanna J Smickley @smickley13630
1 Followers 9 Following
Clem Burke @clem_burke
37K Followers 860 Following Drummer @BlondieOfficial @TheTearawaysUSA,@ClemBurkefanpag , @TheEmptyHearts , @TheSplitSquad
Cʜʀɪs Sᴛᴇɪɴ @chrissteinplays
49K Followers 1K Following Guitar with @blondieofficial writer, photog, animist; wrote those songs etc
Debbie Harry/BLONDIE @BlondieOfficial
352K Followers 376 Following Blondie: Against The Odds 1974-1982 Archival Boxed Set is out now!
Volodymyr Zelenskyy /.. @ZelenskyyUa
7.4M Followers 1 Following President of Ukraine / Президент України
BluesSkedsmo @BluesSkedsmo
1K Followers 974 Following Watermelon Slim favorite juke joint in Norway In_grateful memory of Gøran 'Bluesmunken' Stensrud - Keeping The Blues Alive Award Recipient 2015
George Carlin @TheGeorgeCarlin
73K Followers 73 Following This is the official George Carlin Twitter, managed by Kelly Carlin and the estate of George Carlin. Instagram: @TheGeorgeCarlin
Mustafa Suleyman @mustafasuleyman
131K Followers 536 Following CEO, Microsoft AI | Author: The Coming Wave | Past: Co-founder, @InflectionAI & @GoogleDeepMind
blusqueen @BlusqueenCindy
1K Followers 2K Following Philly 💪🏻 Mom/Nan, gardener, friend, lover, confidant, partner in crime extraordinaire. Blue 🌊 all the way. NOLA is in my ❤️ my soul n my🩸🚫 DM’s
vanbluesat @VanBluesat
4K Followers 5K Following We present blues music in Vancouver BC. This Page is run by the VBAT Team & Admin: @mellk_0120 Official Hashtags: #vanblues #vanbluesevent #celebratevbat
✨💫Dreaming is fr.. @picturethis74
3K Followers 2K Following Exclusively dedicated to my all time faves Blondie/Debbie Harry 💛🩷🧡❤️ things you didn’t know you didn’t know 💛 Instagram 👉🏼 sunday_girld
Andy Aledort @andyaledort
5K Followers 3K Following Blues/Rock Guitarist/Songwriter/Best Selling Author. As seen performing with Jimi Hendrix Tribute, Dickey Betts & Great Southern, Double Trouble, and more
Hillary Palmer @hillary_hahner
8 Followers 57 Following
KennyAronoff @AronoffOFFICIAL
167K Followers 164K Following #Drummer #Musician #sessiondrummer #recordingstudio #producer https://t.co/ao9DAfMW1R https://t.co/S39ds21RGc #Author #speaker
Lynn (Gerilyn) Soregh.. @LSoreghan
1K Followers 666 Following Director and Professor of Geosciences-- @ougeosciences Paleoclimate, dust, glaciation, weathering, Anthropocene. Avid reader. Earth is my favorite planet.
Dr. Aly Baumgartner @PaleoLorax
3K Followers 869 Following Collection Manager of Vascular Plants @ MICH Herbarium. Applied paleobotanist & nerd about leaf shape. she/her #EllieSattlerIRL
MontgomeryCountyCC @mccc
7K Followers 3K Following Montgomery County Community College offers 100+ degree, certificate & workforce training programs for transfer, employment & enrichment. #MontcoForAll
Tim Brown @ByTimBrown
81K Followers 396 Following Out now: "The Tao of the Backup Catcher" with Erik Kratz. NYT bestsellers: "The Phenomenon" with Rick Ankiel and "Imperfect" with Jim Abbott. https://t.co/hc6mrPSZx9
Matt Gelb @MattGelb
68K Followers 223 Following Phillies beat writer for @TheAthletic. Former @PhillyInquirer. Daily Orange U. Still misses the New Radicals. Still uses an RSS reader.
Anthony Bowens @Bowens_Official
107K Followers 838 Following The Scissor King ✂️✂️✂️ - All Elite Wrestling - Wed/Fri/Sat on TBS & TNT. NON-WRESTLING Inquiries email [email protected] #SFGiants
Stan Kelly @KartoonistKelly
52K Followers 5 Following Legendary Editorial Cartoonist for The Onion for over 50 years. "The Most Powerful Name in Cartooning" (TM)
actual heathcliff com.. @RealHeathcliffs
56K Followers 54 Following real, actual, unedited heathcliff comics. not affiliated with heathcliff in any way, just a fan. run by @connorclang
Chris Rose Sports @ChrisRoseSports
19K Followers 366 Following Chris Rose and TWO sports. Baseball Today w/ Trevor Plouffe, Football Today w/ Bobby Skinner AND one w/ 6 different MLB players! @jomboymedia • LIVE tickets 👇
TheYoungOnes @youngonesfan
52K Followers 1K Following Fan account. showing clips from the Young Ones. I don’t own content. clips are subject to Twitter’s 2:20 limits!
MetsVetDog @MetsVetDog
8K Followers 50 Following The official @Mets and @AmazinMetsFdn Vet Dog from @AmericasVetDogs! #LGM
Anna Elizabeth @di_zhera
31 Followers 264 Following Owner of beauty salon and partnership business in clothing. If I were you, I would totally adore me. #fashion # motivated #naturelover🚫NO Porns
Keiana Martin @KeianaMartinTV
38K Followers 829 Following @CBSSports | @MSGNetworks | (formerly) @49ers Opinions (not excluding GIFs) expressed are my own. 🤘🏽
Vanessa Fontaine @nessaface04
100 Followers 803 Following
Heather Thomas @HeatherThomasAF
93K Followers 32K Following Actress writer activist flyfisherwoman closet farmer patriot co-founder LA CAFE co-founder DontGetPurged
A-Treat® @atreatbeverage
521 Followers 92 Following A Pennsylvania staple for over 100 years. #ATreat sodas are in stores now!
cliff floyd @CliffFloyd30
23K Followers 1K Following 17 Big league seasons - President of Cliff Floyd Foundation-MLB NETWORK-Sirius XM Radio
Clash Report @clashreport
355K Followers 0 Following Breaking news, reports, and opinions from ongoing clashes of the world. English | Türkçe | Français | عربي
Haley Shanley @HaleyShanleyTV
7K Followers 1K Following ϟ Motorcycles ϟ Still playing lacrosse ϟ A voice of @supercrossLIVE @supermotocross @champsoffroad
James G. D'Angelo @JamesGDAngelo
7K Followers 3K Following Poli-sci guy focused on pitfalls of transparency and special interest capture. Ex-NASA dork. Check out our Foreign Affairs piece "Dark Side of Sunlight."
Erik Kratz @ErikKratz31
19K Followers 378 Following Father • Husband • @USAbaseball •@foulterritorytv host
Jon Morosi @jonmorosi
487K Followers 8K Following Michigander. @MLBNetwork, @NHLNetwork broadcaster. @SorareMLB ambassador. Also: @MLBNetworkRadio, @FOXSportsRadio, @SeattleSports, @TNTSportsUS, @Sportsnet.
Elliot Ackerman @elliotackerman
10K Followers 95 Following Writer: @TheAtlantic; Books: 2054; Halcyon; Fifth Act; 2034; Red Dress in Black & White; Places & Names; Waiting for Eden; Dark at the Crossing; Green on Blue
Brandon Marsh @brandon_marsh22
20K Followers 718 Following Philadelphia Phillies organization #TeamGravy #GravyTrain #KTHGN #wwdd IG: brandon_marsh
Ariel Rabinovic @ariel_rabinovic
8 Followers 126 Following I am a social worker and advocate working with older adults. I also make squeaky sounds on banjo and guitar, and take black and white pictures. Could be worse.
WHCA @whca
54K Followers 554 Following The White House Correspondents' Association represents the White House press corps in its dealings with the administration on coverage-related issues.
National Weather Serv.. @NWS
3.1M Followers 328 Following Official Twitter account for @NOAA's National Weather Service. A list of official NWS accounts can be found at https://t.co/x5itrXGTJT
@byalexcoffey You never know what will come out of my mouth
tech for Before The Drugs Kick In @TheBroadwaterLA
The Doctor is in-stock on Collect Forever📷! Collect an exclusive Dr. Britt Baker D.M.D. Jazwares AEW action figure – limited to 1,000! Check out this link to purchase:collectforever.com/Product/AEW-Un…
@CaptainDecoy @SFGiants They do! I just bought one because I couldn’t decide on a jersey and figured I would pick her because like girl power and shit. 😊
Our standards have not reached the point where we can’t enjoy poop humor. Thank you.
@Pirates at @Phillies (and vice versa). That gametime scorebug always entertains. I know #mlbcentral has upped their standards on tweet humor this year (and I got them to mention this last year anyway, so it’s a rerun), but what the hell, I’ll tag @RoFlo.
I had cancer ten years ago and I was making jokes about it to the doctors that operated on me. I refused to collapse into grief and mourning and whining about it. Yes a survivor that doesn’t need anybody giving me lectures about how I handle tragedy…
Some person news: New person coming early July, 2024. @Jake_Seiner and I can’t wait to meet our All Star.
Scissors Up! Spread the love, tag someone below who might need a little pick me up today, and give them a ✂️✂️✂️ #AEWDynamite
Star Wars.
Which is the first StarWars you saw?
@CaptainDecoy @markdero7 @LaurenShehadi @MLBNetwork No. Wednesday only is one hour.
@NThompson_3 Sir you appear to have sat on your keyboard
Beloved conductor Michael Tilson Thomas (@mtilsonthomas) returns to Walt Disney Concert Hall, March 28–30, to lead Stravinsky’s playful ballet score about a mischievous little clown, plus Tchaikovsky’s dramatic and fantastic Fourth Symphony. bit.ly/WDCH2324MTTLT
Waiting for the MAGA cult to take the Jim Jones route so we can finally get over all of this bullshit***
@CaptainDecoy @RackSpinner I did as well...my point was when WE wanted new content we got our Star Wars toys out and made it up ourselves...which was infinitely better than what Disney Star Wars is slopping out... Even when my friends and I blew up several Millennium Falcons...
@CaptainDecoy @MavrocksGirl He probably would have made a really good Captain Marvel (Shazam).
@CaptainDecoy I am as American as apple pie and constitutional racism!
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