Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

Colonel of the elite Okaw Valley Regiment --- Expert military tactician and marksman---Leader of LPC Brigade---Not actually Mr Shoaff Camp Okaw Valley Joined February 2020

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

4 years ago

@OkawValley I nominate Jeb "Skeeter" McClellan for the Hall of Fame. Skeet is the only chap to defeat me in a pugilist duel. That alone should earn him the honor. It didn't help I was attacked by our class possum "Rabies."

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

4 years ago

@OkawValley

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

6 years ago

Dearest Stephenie General Stauder and I surveyed our newest recruits. It's been only a few days but I am pleased. The coyote fur mask you knitted fits perfect but does make me look mischievous. However, the only mischief will be when I loot the barracks for chocolate.

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

6 years ago

@Mhshoaff I'll let you know if I encounter it on the trail

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

6 years ago

@stauder_kent @OkawValley @Mhshoaff The troops surprised me this morning with possum cake for my birthday. It was a grand gesture. However, I asked the troops to try and guess my age. Much to my chagrin the most popular answer was 75. I refused to blow out my candles due to their poor humor.

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

6 years ago

@CAMPrincipal Colonel Brown I recall the Battle of Flat Branch many years ago with your Army of Raiders. I had the perfect battle strategy on parchment but my ravenous hunger overwhelmed and I used it as kindling to cook coyote tail soup. General Stauder was fit to be tied.

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

6 years ago

@OkawValley Staff Sargeant Inman It's hotter'n a blister bug in a pepper patch. The humid days would weaken a lesser man but I am unaffected. My workout regimen of cannonball lifts has led to a body strong as an ox. Unfortunately I also smell of one so the virtual workouts are perfect.

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

7 years ago

My Beloved Cadets You deserve to graduate with highest honors. I recall my graduation day. My teacher Elizabeth "Ironsides" Hobgood gave me the discipline paddle when I released a possum on stage. In all fairness, I thought it was dead. Congratulations Class of 2020!

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

7 years ago

@bubbaf65 Staff Sargeant Inman I once took down a brigade of rebels using only a basket of Top Flites and my hand carved cherry oak 3-wood. Private Fultz served as my caddy. You have made a wise choice in coaches as he has learned from the best. @Mhshoaff @OkawValley

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

7 years ago

@OkawValley Colonel Matthew "Silver Wolf" Shoaff Pitcher,1B,SS 4 years and 7days ago we set forth to win a State Title. I solemnly declare that would have occurred. My humble season stats prediction: Avg .875 HRs 39 18-0 200 Ks 4 "Ol' Shaky's Squirrel Claws" Player of the Month Awards

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

7 years ago

Dearest Stephenie I have had many days of slumber at the camp. In my excess time, I have decided to learn the banjo.I have fashioned a pick from badger teeth.I have requested Commander Forlines join me in my new band "Colonel's Secret Recipe."I will pen a song in your honor.

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

7 years ago

Dearest Stephenie It has felt like forever since I put pen to paper. Oh the misery of quarantine. The following article made the news this past Sunday. What am I to do? I was not raised an animal. My grey beard grows much like my frustration. I love you. Please send tissues.

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

7 years ago

@Mhshoaff Dearest Stephenie The recent fair weather has allowed the boys and I to play some ball. Our newest sports fields have brought out the best in me. Today after a swell hit, I flew to the base faster than Johnny Reb running from my advancing troops. @CAMPrincipal

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

7 years ago

Citizens I have fortified the camp to protect it from attack. Our men are prepared and Inman will have them ready. I still call upon all who are able and willing to meet us at the battlefield. Your support will keep our young soldiers resolute. Prepare for greatness!

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

7 years ago

@Mhshoaff Young scholars I applaud my cadets with their impressive display of knowledge during a recent pair of skirmishes. I once engaged in a duel of wits with an enemy general. His rank assumed intelligence but he was all hat and no cattle.

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

7 years ago

Dearest Stephenie I have watched Staff Sergeant Inman retreat to solitude today. Warriors from Clark County are approaching from the East. Inman's plans are crucial to victory. Send him some of my finest salted squirrel meat to sustain him. We face attack tomorrow evening.

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

7 years ago

@OkawValley General Stauder Some of the young soldiers have picked up my tricks and used them to trap animals. Just last week I lured Private Ackers into a raccoon den using molasses-dipped squirrel claws. We had a good hearty laugh after he returned from the infirmary.

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

7 years ago

@OkawValley Dearest Stephenie Sergeant Wise has done it again! As reward for battlefield excellence, Wise prepared grilled meats for his soldiers. I was lucky enough to find good favor and receive some as well. We shall dine like royalty tonight!

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Colonel Shoaff @ColonelShoaff

7 years ago

@ALAHKnights @OkawValley Knights I'm fit to be tied! As I led my troops to the battlefield, a photo was snapped as I bid adieu to the locals. It was then I found out a hostile telegram was sent by horse and buggy insulting my troops. I've had enough of Vanausdoll's ruffians. Prepare for battle!!!