Comedy Pot Pie @ComedyPotPie
From the insanely dark mind of comedian @michaellanejr | Season 2 of the Comedy Pot Pie podcast available everywhere. ☠️ open.spotify.com/show/3OiVENcCP… Detroit, MI Joined January 2019-
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Comedy Pot Pie retweeted
They said give us something that represents the City of Detroit so they just threw it up on blocks and dipped
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Comedy Pot Pie retweeted
Dear slim ✏️
Comedy Pot Pie retweeted
Relationship Status: I just locked eyes with a beautiful woman at a 4 way stop sign and to my surprise she actually followed me all the way back to my house— pulls out a little piece of paper and then writes down my license plate number because I didn’t come to a complete stop
Comedy Pot Pie retweeted
While Jimmy Buffett’s exact cause of death is still unknown— some people claim that there’s a woman to blame usatoday.com/story/entertai…
If Weird Al doesn’t come back here right now and cover ‘I wanna fuck you like a cannibal’ by NIN after watching ‘Dahmer’ then what are we even doing here
You can take your wife out of the D, but you can never take the D outta your wife
You can take your wife out of the D, but you can never take the D outta your wife
Comedy Pot Pie retweeted
I was thinking about starting a Stranger Things tribute band but Finger Eleven was already taken.
Comedy Pot Pie retweeted
The stomach
Comedy Pot Pie retweeted
It’s been just me and my dog for so long now that when a girl gets all excited around me I ask her if she needs to go outside.
Comedy Pot Pie retweeted
Proud to announce that ‘Drinking and Driving’ will no longer be an issue for me as I can no longer afford to do both.
Comedy Pot Pie retweeted
Every morning I wake up— Twitter is such a weird place… Opens Facebook— what a weird place… Leaves house— this is such a weird place…
Comedy Pot Pie retweeted
Santa Clause Bill Cosby 🤝 come in your sleep
Comedy Pot Pie retweeted
My sex life is like a sinking ship. Women and children first.
Comedy Pot Pie retweeted
Everybody claiming that a rape baby is a “gift from god”, needs to realize that an abortion is simply a re-gift to god. That’s even Steven.
“I always thought that ‘Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader’ would have been a way better title than ‘To Catch a Predator’ but I guess it was already taken.” - @MichaelLaneJr
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Dear slim ✏️
🚨#WATCH: As Dramatic Footage Captures Vehicle Driving Through and Plunging Off Fishing Pier 📌#Oceanfront | #Virginia On Saturday morning around 6:52 a.m. in Oceanfront beach, Virginia, a car crashed, breaking through a metal gate. Driving at high speeds, as it proceeded to…
Relationship Status: I just locked eyes with a beautiful woman at a 4 way stop sign and to my surprise she actually followed me all the way back to my house— pulls out a little piece of paper and then writes down my license plate number because I didn’t come to a complete stop
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Can't turn the WHAT back?
@90smoviespod More power to you guys for sure, I don't think there is anything wrong with it. Maybe someone reading the comments wants to hear more!
@ComedyPotPie @MichaelLaneJr I want him to cover white america by Eminem. But switch it to Trump america. It writes itself. (Mocking trump) obviously
@Pauline_Hornsby Oh I was just gonna say— here’s one now. Sorry bout that, didn’t mean to keep you from your medications
@Pauline_Hornsby Speaking of mentally unstable white women…
@ericarhodes Don’t do anything drastic— I’d like to throw my name in the hat while your standards are still low
@MichaelLaneJr @ComedyPotPie And ready to plant stuff in your bed. Big fun. Like marrying a Stephen King novel.
@MichaelLaneJr @ComedyPotPie You'll get in great shape with all that walking
@MichaelLaneJr @ComedyPotPie If you were Conan and I were Andy, that would have been great late night banter
Proud to announce that ‘Drinking and Driving’ will no longer be an issue for me as I can no longer afford to do both.
Every morning I wake up— Twitter is such a weird place… Opens Facebook— what a weird place… Leaves house— this is such a weird place…
@ComedyPotPie Thank you I laughed uncontrollably 😂🤣Which I needed something terrible 🥰
@ComedyPotPie Jeopardy is wisdom, accumulated knowledge. Wheel of fortune is using inductive knowledge to decipher a puzzle. Wof requires more steps and problem solving, even though it is usually far simpler to answer. Creative and logic requirements make wof the more diverse of the 2.
@Collectible_God @ComedyPotPie Holy fuck! I just heard the intro for episode 2 and I'm damn near in tears. This is too good.
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