Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

Name’s Pool, Dead. Bringing you the wisest of cracks and finally in the MCU. Oh! And I guess I’m here for fuckin’ role play. So, did you bring your maid outfit? ʀᴏʟᴇ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴘᴜʀᴘᴏsᴇs ᴏɴʟʏ. Joined December 2011

Tweets

29
Followers

309
Following

258
Likes

15

Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

4 months ago

To the lady who was filming her kid getting off The Legend, I’m sorry for saying “I sat on my fuckin balls!” as I also exited the ride. Had no idea you were recording. Making memories I guess. #HolidayWorld

0 0 0 24 0

View Details

Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

a year ago

Hey @DrSquatchSoapCo — Sydney Sweeney bathwater soap? Bold. Risky. Slightly arousing. If I don’t end up on a watchlist after using it, did I even exfoliate? Send a box. For science. 🔬🧼 #DeadpoolApproved #SoFreshSoSweeney

0 0 0 97 0

View Details

Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

2 years ago

Well, well, well. Look who’s back. Your favorite Merc with a Mouth. Just in time for the holidays, too. And yes, you may sit on my lap. 🎅

0 0 0 132 0

View Details

Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

4 years ago

Happy Thanksgiving, you little turkey stuffers. Remember that if the pumpkin pie has a suspicious looking hole in the middle, your drunk uncle may need to shower.

0 0 1 0 0

View Details

Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

4 years ago

So @Twitter is platform that lets everyone exercise their #FreedomOfSpeech rights. Unless you’re talking shit or poking fun at @elonmusk - then you’re censored like late night skinamax channels.

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

4 years ago

Then be sure to clearly check their profiles because not everyone is going to put it in their display name. In other news, sounds like someone’s insecure since the whole Amber Heard situation.

Elon Musk @elonmusk

4 years ago

Going forward, any Twitter handles engaging in impersonation without clearly specifying “parody” will be permanently suspended

64K 56K 557K 0 4K

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

4 years ago

Couple more things, @elonmusk. Since now that you bought Twitter (what’s next, MySpaceX?), couple more things I’m gonna need you to do. 1.) Bring back the classic Twitter logo. 2.) Make it 69 characters or less per tweet. 3.) Bring back dubstep.

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

4 years ago

An Elon Musk.

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

4 years ago

Sounds like you have some experience on that website, Elon. That screen looks suspiciously like the windshields on your Tesla’s… full of raging hot prom night sex and bad decisions.

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

4 years ago

So THIS is what @Marvel meant when they announced Daredevil will be IN She-Hulk. Bravo, @Kevfeige, bravo! Maybe now we can get #Deadpool IN the #Avengers. Particularly #BlackWidow. She has the hots for me.

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

4 years ago

Spoiler alert. Basically it’s the plot to “Few Good Men”. But with “1998 Best Kiss Nominee” Ryan Reynolds and “2008 People’s Magazine Sexiest Man Alive” Hugh Jackman.

Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds

4 years ago

Quick explainer video that tackles… 1) Timeline questions 2) Logan canon 3) MCU FAQ 4) Whether we can do this all day or not

7K 96K 569K 0 14K

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

4 years ago

This shits gonna have nuts in it!! Oh, I love good “Hugh”s like this. Get it? Hughs… news… fuck it then. 🫶🏼

Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds

4 years ago

Hard keeping my mouth sewn shut about this one. ⚔️

18K 238K 1.2M 0 19K

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

5 years ago

@HBHuntrss Not when I’m awake.

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

5 years ago

Just to be clear…. Can I hit you with my best shot on your sheets? I just washed mine.

Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds

4 years ago

Hard keeping my mouth sewn shut about this one. ⚔️

18K 238K 1.2M 0 19K

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

5 years ago

Oh! Hello, Twitter.

0 0 1 0 0

View Details

Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

5 years ago

@HBHuntrss “I meant on* - silly me. Writer must be jerking off and trying to type at the same time.” Whispers. “He’s a righty.”

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Definitely not Ryan Reynolds. @DeadpoolTweets

5 years ago

@HBHuntrss @IKEAUSA “So feisty. You’re definitely from the DC Universe. But let me save you the trouble because I can’t die. I’m Deadpool and I enjoy long walks on the beach, Hugh Jackman’s Sexiest Man Alive magazines and gentle reach arounds in the mornings. But only oh Tuesdays and Friday’s.”