One of the darkest moment of my life was when I lost my ex 2 yrs ago. He was terribly sick & had to travel out for some surgeries, he started getting better & returned to Nigeria. I was with him for some days before I returned to my base. He died at around 6pm, but that day around 1pm we spoke & he said, āRabbin rai na, I donāt feel better, I donāt think Iām recovering.ā I rebuked him immediately & spoke words of encouragement. At around 5pm, my spirit was troubled but I didnāt wanted to yield to what my head was telling me. I rounded up my work to get home so that I could call him. I got home, showered, dished food & was about to eat when my phone rang. The caller was his elder brother, he said āYata, ya tafi. But Iād like you to put yourself together.ā āAhhh is a lie!!ā Thatās all I could remember saying as my phone dropped to the ground. I picked it up & dialed my ex line, his sister was the one who received the call. āTell me is not trueā & she said between sobbing āDebbie is trueā. āGod why?!ā Thatās all that kept coming out from my mouth. I lost a very good friend few weeks back before this incident & I had not gotten over that yet. My mom & my cousin called to comfort me, though it didnāt relieve me from the agony I was going through. Fast forward to the day of the burial, I was almost like a lunatic! I stood at the corner with his sisters, & was staring at the coffin. I kept whispering, āGod pls wake him up, I still believe in miracles.ā I went closer to his sister & whispered to her, āDan Allah, a dan bude akwatin, domin zai tashi,ā that was a s!lly thing to say but she understood that I was still in a state of denial. The priest was done reading from the scripture, family & friends were asked to come closer & big farewell before heād to covered to be lowered in. I moved closer, saw him lying as if he was sleeping. I bent closer to his corpse & whispered, āGet up pls, this people would soon bury you alive!ā His siblings broke down in tears as he was conveyed to the final point of rest which wasnāt quite far from the compound. I stood there as I watched everyone leave one after another, & by the time everyone was gone that was when the proper funeral began for me. I canāt remember how long I cried on that grave, & got interrupted when his elder brother came to pull me out of there. Few days after, I traveled back, & another phase of grieve began. Well, I had to accept the things I couldnāt change, God knows best! Although healing from the loss of a loved one is something you canāt just get over, just when you think youāve moved past it, it hits you again. And there you are soaking your pillows with tears & going over the whole scene again!
One of the darkest moment of my life was when I lost my ex 2 yrs ago. He was terribly sick & had to travel out for some surgeries, he started getting better & returned to Nigeria. I was with him for some days before I returned to my base. He died at around 6pm, but that day around 1pm we spoke & he said, āRabbin rai na, I donāt feel better, I donāt think Iām recovering.ā I rebuked him immediately & spoke words of encouragement. At around 5pm, my spirit was troubled but I didnāt wanted to yield to what my head was telling me. I rounded up my work to get home so that I could call him. I got home, showered, dished food & was about to eat when my phone rang. The caller was his elder brother, he said āYata, ya tafi. But Iād like you to put yourself together.ā āAhhh is a lie!!ā Thatās all I could remember saying as my phone dropped to the ground. I picked it up & dialed my ex line, his sister was the one who received the call. āTell me is not trueā & she said between sobbing āDebbie is trueā. āGod why?!ā Thatās all that kept coming out from my mouth. I lost a very good friend few weeks back before this incident & I had not gotten over that yet. My mom & my cousin called to comfort me, though it didnāt relieve me from the agony I was going through. Fast forward to the day of the burial, I was almost like a lunatic! I stood at the corner with his sisters, & was staring at the coffin. I kept whispering, āGod pls wake him up, I still believe in miracles.ā I went closer to his sister & whispered to her, āDan Allah, a dan bude akwatin, domin zai tashi,ā that was a s!lly thing to say but she understood that I was still in a state of denial. The priest was done reading from the scripture, family & friends were asked to come closer & big farewell before heād to covered to be lowered in. I moved closer, saw him lying as if he was sleeping. I bent closer to his corpse & whispered, āGet up pls, this people would soon bury you alive!ā His siblings broke down in tears as he was conveyed to the final point of rest which wasnāt quite far from the compound. I stood there as I watched everyone leave one after another, & by the time everyone was gone that was when the proper funeral began for me. I canāt remember how long I cried on that grave, & got interrupted when his elder brother came to pull me out of there. Few days after, I traveled back, & another phase of grieve began. Well, I had to accept the things I couldnāt change, God knows best! Although healing from the loss of a loved one is something you canāt just get over, just when you think youāve moved past it, it hits you again. And there you are soaking your pillows with tears & going over the whole scene again!
@Debbiepaul002 I was reading this with tears š, my Almighty Allah comfort us all, I have a fresh wound in my heart as I'm still mourning the passing away of my dad just two weeks ago.
@Debbiepaul002 This is really sad, I pray you heal completely, my heart clenched when you went to the corpse and told him to wake up, that hope!š
@Debbiepaul002 So sorry. Damn you made me stand there with you through your words.
@Debbiepaul002 Sorry about your loss. May God continue to comfort you & his family, as well as, repose his soul
@Debbiepaul002 Iām so sorry Debbie, I hope youāre doing fine now ā¤ļø Heās surely in a better place rn