Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

Father/Blogger/Black Belt in Farting/Once had to fight a Swan /Firefighter/So Very Tired https://t.co/upGY4uSKIH https://t.co/sttvHhGgoX / Scotland, United Kingdom Joined December 2018

Tweets

302
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125
Following

55
Likes

265

DogeDesigner @cb_doge

a month ago

This is the man they’re calling 'extremely dangerous' 🤦‍♂️

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

2 months ago

New video up over on 'The Tubes'! Getting a load of small jobs done, talking about chicken suits and how washing lines can wipe you out.. See you there dads! #dadvlog #dads #doghousedad

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

2 years ago

@TheNakedMike @Mr_goji54 Our lord and saviour!

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

2 years ago

Hello everyone! Wanna know what's happening at Doghouse HQ? Watch this! youtu.be/FtW6aUeipR8?si…

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

3 years ago

"He's not the hero we wanted, he's the hero we needed.."

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

3 years ago

@Steevasaurus @JaredFPS In a damned heartbeat!

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

3 years ago

Just doing some writing, getting my nails did.. #BasicBitchSunday

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

3 years ago

@Steevasaurus @AlexCobb_

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Watching the first episode of 'Planet Earth 3' and Sir David is talking about the seals, expressly naming them as such. But my much learned wife says that they are sealions, and as much as I want to support her in her madness I just can't doubt the word of The Attenborough.

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

3 years ago

"What do you do to entertain the kids during school holidays?" Tell them that if they eat the dust particles floating in the sunlight they'll gain superpowers. Then watch them run around like Basking Sharks for a hour, trying to scoop up as much of the floaty flakes as they can.

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

3 years ago

Never arm your kids. Especially the ginger ones.

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

4 years ago

We're at the point in our lives where, despite having to get up at 5am for work, my wife and I are watching S3 E38 of #Bluey before the kids get to see it tomorrow.. Fuck those kids, they don't appreciate the classics.

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

4 years ago

If you folks would consider subscribing to my longer form stories on Substack, that would be amazing.. doghousedad.substack.com/p/the-marmite-…

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

4 years ago

Our kids in their 20's: "Hey dad, how did you and mum first meet?" Me:

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

4 years ago

The boy has recently discovered he can play #Fortnite with his school buddies online, and now they're all in chat 'Getting Shwifty'. I think I've made a terrible mistake here.

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

4 years ago

Was making bread with the Ginger Targaryen earlier and I think she heard 'bed' when I said we were making bread, and now we have a loaf full of 3yr olds dandruff.

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

4 years ago

@Steevasaurus @midwestbimbo I mean he's got a point. I mean I wouldn't 'choose' to climb into the shower with him to scrub his back with a fistful of Lynx Africa, but sometimes a bro knows where a bro just can't reach.. #HLP4L

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

4 years ago

@Steevasaurus @ruby_rues

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

4 years ago

Right tell me something more soul destroying than when you're getting changed in front of your kids, and your three year old says, "Daddy, why have you got boobs?" It's okay, I'll fucking wait. 😐

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Doghouse Dad @DoghouseBlog

4 years ago

Sitting here with the boy watching 'Captain America, The First Avenger', and Steve Rogers is still pre-Super Serum. "Sometimes little guys can be really smart!" he says, watching Steve take the flag. Then he turns to me with a serious face, "And the big guys can be super dumb"