Fake Life Hacks @DontUseThese
A whole bunch of useful ways to make your life better. Joined November 2013-
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Not only does sun tan lotion work as hair gel, it also makes for a great snack!
You can do whatever you want, as long as nobody from the future stops you beforehand.
If you need an instant iPhone stand, take a pen and stab through the phone. Then lean it on the pen.
If you want to get on the good side of the police, key their cars. They love that.
If you're running late, stop and gas and burn down where ever it is you're going to the ground. No one will notice you're late.
If you want to be a true American, cover yourself head to toe in tattoos of American Flags.
If you haven't gotten it in the 1st 5 minutes, you might as well give up.
If you want to be amazing at baketball, try using your feet to handle the ball and your hands to run.
If your 3rd world nation is under attack from the Taliban, blow yourself up. They'll understand and except you as one of them.
When in doubt, use your 1960s style switchblade.
Make your cupcakes extra tasty! Add cocaine to the icing!
Learn to play guitar in 2 weeks: 1st, continue with your every day life for a week. 2nd, buy a guitar. 3rd, smash it on the ground.
When making Thanksgiving dinner, pour Pine Sol on the bird to add texture and flavor.
If you want to lose 30 pounds in a week, sit in 1 spot all week. Eat nothing but McDonalds and only drink diet pops.
When running a mile race, go fast for the 1st lap - like a sprint - and then drop down to a normal pace. Also, go very slow at the end.
If in an elevator, press all of the buttons to make it go faster and not stop at any stops.
How to get 3000 vine followers: Throw your phone or iPod into a bowl of fruit punch.
If you want your iPhone, iPod, or iPad to work 5 times faster, take of the screen and then smash the touchscreen with a hammer.
If the zombie apocalypse is upon us, give up. You'll die eventually anyways.
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