LOL Tweets! @FactualHumour
Don't piss on my back and tell me it's raining! In your wardrobe.. Joined February 2011-
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Followers518
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Following1K
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LOL Tweets! retweeted
Everyone go follow @FactualHumour their tweets are brilliant!! RT if you did to spread the word!
We all have that first email address we created... Yup, I cringed at mine too!
I'm through with learning new things unless someone proves Google won't be around forever
Crabs always look like they are walking themselves out of an awkward situation
Guys RT if u do this!! "Roses Are Red, Twitter is Blue, You look bangable, so I'll follow you"
Right who wants to explain how porcupines have sex??
Word of the day: exhaustipated. Too tired to give a crap...
It may have looked like I was doing crunches but I was just trying to get up. #beast
Here, take my advice. It's not like I'm using it...
My biggest fear is laughing at a joke I didn't understand and someone asks me to explain it to them
Almond milk?!? How do you milk an almond?! #problems
Oh, you lost your phone and it's on silent? That's too bad. If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.
People who wait 3 hours to respond to a text "LOL" should be punched in the neck. Your not fooling anybody. You weren't LOLing that long.
Had a big mix up at the store today, apparently when the clerk said "strip down facing me," she meant my credit card.
I've got 66 problems and being upside-down is one.
They say penis size is related to shoe size. Which makes the fear of being raped by a clown that much scarier
Febreeze just makes my bathroom smell like I took a shit in Hawaii.
There's literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house
You're so fat you carry a knife in case you find cake
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