Fake Literary Agent @FakeLitAgent
Busy complaining, ignoring your query letters, reading cookie cutter vampire novels, and not signing new authors! #askfakeagent New York, NY Joined December 2012-
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The barista wrote a clever limerick on my coffee cup this morning. I signed her to an 8 book deal. Won't need to read queries in 2013!
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@NobleValerie :P I don't mean any real harm. Just trying to be satirical ;)
#FemaleLies "Sure! We'll hire male literary agents and debut writers."
@NobleValerie @BookaliciousPam @DowagerAgent Looking in the mirror is painful sometimes!
Our agency is closing to queries for the holiday season. See you all in a couple of years!
What are your New Year's writing resolutions? Mine is to try the brioche from every deli in NYC. Also I might work or something.
Today it would be called "Just Vampires and Strong Female Leads Bookstore" bit.ly/VbM1ks
Writers take note! The best holiday songwriting I have ever discovered: bit.ly/NWBuU
Just kidding I would never do that!
Tomorrow must really be the apocalypse because I just signed a previously unpublished author!
@BookBatman Duh that's why I became an agent.
If there's one thing the world needs less of, it's satire. Humor has no place in our modern world!
@BookBatman Thanks for your criticism but it doesn't fit the needs of our agency at this time.
@jenrofe Kidnapped vampire fathers? Vampire rock stars?
@RubenAgency Our agency's list of query rules is an astounding seven pages!
I love the holiday season! We agents finally get our well-deserved nine week break!
@daniellechiotti We feed our interns shredded unread query letters.
I purposely hide my name on our agency website so I can yell at writers who query with "Dear Agent"
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